Benny 😭😭 I feel so broken today, going through same feeling again, it hurts, it badly hurts.. I know how it feels when you lost someone very close to your heart, You were my habit, the way you understood me was unpredictable, you were unable to speak still you have spoken so much to me, I can’t forget raising you up, and the day you had fallen down from the stairs and I almost felt you were no more , and today I can’t even believe you are no more.. I can’t handle this pain, I am shattered, I just can’t.. MISSYOUUBENNY ! 😭😭♥️
Halo ! And so I have been really working hard to explore myself, learning learning and learning, You know life is beautiful when you look at those precious moments, here moments describes [ beautiful sky with limitless hights, the shining sun, incredible sunset, those chirruping of birds and many more ] Just imagine our lives without them ? Such life do not even exist, I am a confused homo sapien, who always finds a reason to cry, and yes never forget to regret things, even if theyre really good enough I will still regret, Sometimes I just sit down and criticise myself for being this subtle, and I still find chaos, I have been reading “ THE ART OF BEING A BRILLIANT TEENAGER “ And the vibes it gives are in predictable, It feels so smooth and it really reduces stress, Writing and reading gives me confidence, And may be this is the reason I am alive, There is always something which keeps me motivated, inspired and enthusiastic, And when I look at the sky I grab myself with strong energy that takes me up and up, I have my boards and I am not at all studying, And I won’t be able to study till I make myself strong, I will read as much as possible, may be this will help me out, I just wanted to write a note to myself, I don’t know why, I already mentioned I am always confused.
Is it love ? If I have to force myself to love him ? His lies still hurts me, Yesterday I didn’t even wanted to talk to him but Still I was so close to him, Because I am afraid, I am afraid of making him find his bad reliefs, I want to love him to make him understand the real meaning of love, But he always makes it difficult for me, I feel so low, things were never meant to be this way, May be I am wrong being here, And always I was wrong.
No matter how weak I feel, His one look at me, always makes me feel alive again, He is my happy place, Where I can leave all of my pain and smile again, Sometimes things really becomes tough, And even sometimes I myself makes them tougher, He is so little, but still so mature, Once Both of us were leaving back from school, And it was my exam day,, I really studied whole day and still I scored less than my expectations, I was so sad, I tried to control my tears and suddenly I don’t know, what happened and I just cried, He sit near me and he was asking didu what happened? Ma’am ne data apko? I said NO, He replied fir kya hua ? I kept quite, He started repeating batao na didu, batao na? Than I told him, Aaj mera exam tha or mere marks ache nahi aaye, Vo pehle muje dekhta raha, fir bola koi bat nahi didu, next time aap or ache se learn karna fir aapke ache marks ayenge, And I just hugged him and cried.
It was 8th when we both meet, And I know you hated me, Arey! I don’t know exactly but may be, Time never stops and see where we are, We both have gone through so much, Some tears of sadness and pain, Happiness in joyful days, I would never forget the way you guided me, Your possessiveness, your care and a masculine full of care for me was really so much, I can still remember those days, when you use to make me strong, And see I am strong today, Those moments spent with you was really priceless, I know I use to be the happiest kid that time, I loved the way you use to tease me, You know I will never end up finishing writing up, Because we have so much things together, I wish as you celebrate your birthday today, You celebrate each day being happy !
क़भी क़भी अच्छा लगता है ; चुप होकर बस थोड़ा रो लेना , पता नहीं क्यूँ; पर थोड़ा दर्द कम हो जाता है, क़िसी कि ख़ुशी छिन कर कब तक खुश रह लुंगी, पर क्या मिलता उस जगह पर रह कर जो क़भी मेरी हो ही नहीं सकती, मेरे कुछ कहने से पहले ही सब समझ जाता था वो, पर फिर भी हमेशा चुप रहा करता था, मेरा उस पर ग़ुस्सा होना, ओर उसका हमेशा मुझे मना ना, ये सब भी अब बुरा लगने लगा था, लगता था जेसे उसकी कमजोरी बन रही थी, हमेशा उसका मुझे बोलना क़भी मत छोड़ना, अब दर्द देने लगा था, आज अच्छा लगता है सोच कर की कम से कम उसकी कमज़ोरी तो नहीं बनी में | •अविशा सुमन ||
“Dr Priyanka Reddy, a veterinary doctor from Shamshabad in Hyderabad was found dead with her body partially burnt under Chatanpalli bridge in Shadnagar on Thursday morning(28th November 2019). She had worked as a doctor in Kolluru village.
The incident happened on Wednesday night(27th November 2019). She was raped, smothered and then burnt by four men who are said to be hailing from Narayanpet.”
As we're moving into a new year, I wanted to write something about this and hope things get better.
Read it slow, I felt it while writing and I know it's not even close to what the victims of these horrific crimes go through!
“I'm a hushed scream amidst the blares of that car which passed by her last night, tyres of which left an impression on the ground, same as that on her wrists and inner thighs, a memento from her uncle.
I'm a drop of sweat that fell over the metro floor, only to surround myself with three pairs of stranger sneakers shadowing a stiletto. I fall in continuation and it didn't really matter if I was over her cleavage or her nape, they kept staring at me and my only escape was to fall as soon as possible. Yeah we're bound to fall now, I guess.
I'm a nightmare that woke her up last night, unclear thoughts and unimaginable fears of taking that night shift at the call center knocks over her door almost every night now because her best friend's virginity fell prey to some strangers last month.
I'm the worry her parents, siblings and relatives bind in the second and minute hand of the wall-clock. I'm those 23 missed calls from her boyfriend that she missed while enjoying at the office party with her male colleagues who just posted an instagram story, 23 bottles of Bira with a “fucking wild night” tag. She returned safely, made sweet love to her boyfriend, lied to her parents, hushed the worries somewhere in the tick and tock of the clock.
I'm the stream of blood her labrador sensed flowing through the bathroom door, wrists lying helplessly over the edges of the bathtub, her endless rants about how he always came so close without her permission and her silent late night sneak-in yesterday, a pale face and slow crumpled steps.
I'm the ashes from her burnt body that is free now. I fly freely into this open air, still caged by these delayed court hearings and candle marches. I mix with this air that everyone is breathing and now you breathe my pain, my reality.
I'm the dream I dreamt, to save lives and ironically I couldn't even save mine. I hope you save yours, I'm inside you. I'm in this air you're breathing, you're my reality now, don't fail me.
"Rain rain (don't)go away, Come again another(every) day. Little Johnny wants to play"
When the sky downpours its happiness, i feel like an impala who moves with the first rain.
Windows afore my study table open as if a host welcomes the guests. As soon as the windows open, the petrichor drives the pages of my diary to and fro, the pen betwixt my pages drops down as if the pair is asking the, the pluviophile to scribble the tenderness of mizzle.
Not only the presence of b12 diverges my drowsiness but the quintessence it carries is just like fuel to heart and food to my soul.
The eternity when it rains at 3 AM makes me balter. The divine scent from doughy loam makes me chant for serein that belongs to the infinite skies.
They say it rains diamonds on saturn. But for me the rain here is enough to console my soul. And i thank the creator for not giving me life at Antarctica where it rains almost after 200 million years. Else i would've considered my existence tacenda.
With a brown muffler, a little loose around her neck, she leaves for a morning walk into the blurred wintry morning. Dew drops, clinging to the faded green leaves, drips down at her sight and nestles down gently into her soft long hair. She loves the blue dusky sky of the early dawn, but I know for a fact, that she never sleeps early. The wolf in her never backs down from a war and I know that victory doesn't always make her happy. For dew drops too, have to melt down after the sun comes up and they do leave her hair drenched with the cold. The inky sky too has to leave behind her favourite hue and wear the peach yellow sundress, after sometime, a color she quite doesn't like. I have felt the burst of nebulas in her eyes when she starts weaving back those abstractions in the back of her mind to revive letters that can leave bitter yet so sweet mark on your shoulders. No, she never settles for the softer things but give her those soft love, she'll know how to take care of it tenderly.
She resides in the leal murk of a sourly sweet hurricane, breathing in the embrosial petrichor of dark murmuring scars that tell tales of a girl who never gave up. Having arcane whispers with the cruor of bleeding winds, she can lie with you under the twinkling stars and tell you about death. Her smirk is an imitation to her forlorns. She drapes the cape of coruscating stardust and walks through the embers of yore mistakes with dern alate. She's the door to every dark corner of hell and yet a smooth road to heaven. She might not have butterflies recurring in her stomach but her sagacity possesses fireflies in her parleys. She conceals you with her words and fetches eunioa. A nyctophile, she is but with galaxies glowing flamboyantly in her arms.
She decorates her burning soul with dark metaphors. For once cuddle the thrashed parts of her, which she shields with the thunder of her savage heart and she will blossom into an aura of jade vines. She will drench you with the colours of a life you've never known. She will snatch the mundane blue from the treacherous nooks of your fragile mind and will bathe you with liveliness stolen from the kisses of a morn sunshine. She can be the lightning in the stygian night or she can be the blue tranquil sheet where thousand illecebrous birds fly. She can be a terrific plane crash or she can be a falling star, you set your wishes up on. Yes, she's can be ruthless yet a bonbon warrior on a battlefield.
//Orchids are whelved in her laconic eyes She embraces reverie, looking at the skies A touch of her sings joyous tales of apricity She is an orbic flutura in a human's disguise
Starry scars scintillate under her skin She adorns them as sunflowers serene A komorebi filtering via cimmerian cobwebs She is an enlightened verse, a halcyon hymn// _______________________________________________________
We all love you so much @vivenne And this everything written in there is what we think you to be. Will miss you so much if you decide to leave this place but we understand your position. Wishing you all the good luck in your journey. <3
P.S. Sorry, but had to repost bc @secret_letters is not letting go the "null" tag from her profile.
Now you know that this is only and only for you Gauri di. XD
I take a break and isolate myself from this world, time to time. Somedays I need to be quiet and lie in bed. I need to do nothing and feel a lot of things. This world is shady, it talks and then talks some more. People like me who wear their heart on their sleeves, need space from the people who only wants to break it. I wander my mind to think of constellations and evaluation, so I can avoid thinking of things to be sad. Amidst this feeling a lot of things and doing nothing, I just realize that most days I only talk to me about everything because this world is filled with people, people who have hundreds of things to talk about, yet nothing to say.