I am here To say. And as I begin You'll hear my voice stuttering You'll see my hands, shivering My legs trembling Making it harder To make me stand. And you'll know I fear. I fear you. But see, Here I am To make you wait A little longer.
I had reharsed enough Keeping myself front the mirror But it was mine own reflection, there But here, it's you Not even willing to listen As I hear you giggle when I pause.
But know, I have been enough. Enough of being afraid Of being stuck on maybes That is liberated And manipulated by your blood
I have been enough Enough of following The arrow of your words That you shot on my chest.
I have been enough Enough of you telling me I'm impure the way my body bleeds Enough of garbing my body With the clothes, you provide.
I have been enough Enough of silencing My voice whenever my existence Gets carved in strokes of your opinions
I have been enough Enough of blemishing my scars Whenever the rebel in me Revolts against the brokenness within me
I have been enough Enough of me telling myself That "You hate the me I want to be".
But. Wait. Did you think I came here to recite a good poem? How could have, I done that! When you had labelled me, As a case of bad poetry.
But didn't you see Here I was, Making you wait a little longer.
Wake up, Chew a happy pill. Flavored with some dark morphine. Gulp It down with the sip of tears, Still,warm in the glass of melting porcelain. Heated up by the anxiety of last night. Paint your teeth,with some white cement of restless peace,and outline them with the grey shade of happiness. Wash your face,with splashes of cold disappointments,under the shower of spreading ache.
Take a fork,scratch a parabola, On your parched lips. Sprinkle some happy shade of red. Perhaps,pepper-flavored beneath. Open the closet, Walk-in past the veiling drapes. Take time to select the cloak,better veiling, 'So,that you can hide the decayed healing.
Turn on the shimmery mirror light, Lift up the heavy-sinking head, And,eyelashes infected with styes of sleeplessness. Pick up that pale concealer of expressions, And blend well. The shade of darkness,under your eye. Conceal,show that you don't feel. Learn the tricks of make-up, Make-up to fool.
Fill your dusty plate, With the loaf of usual pain. Top it,with the butter of grinning fears. Some shreds of frozen emotions. Garnished with the accidental cuts,of recklessness. Alongwith an overflowing bowl of emptiness. A hot cup of black dawns, And grey dusks.
Don't forget the extra tablet of numbness, To finish off the delicious meal. Gulp it fast. Drink as much water you can. But,make sure you swallow it very deep. Choke your foodpipe, But,swallow it deep. Until,it reaches down your stomach. Down enough,for you to show, A healthy you. A normal you. A happy you.
'Cause it's just another morning, To kill some more,the dying you.