blmatthews

An undying admiration of the fluidity of words

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  • blmatthews 2d

    I keep chasing
    not knowing what I’m after,
    This is the circus
    and I am the ringmaster.
    ©blmatthews

  • blmatthews 2d

    Dirty

    How is it that you do the bad things...
    Yet I feel dirty
    ©blmatthews

  • blmatthews 1w

    Death’s Royalty

    Driven in an unbreakable line,
    ignoring the civilian laws.
    Deaths Royalty announced.
    All fall in by the plot of ground
    that will now be your salvation.
    Breaking the earth apart
    to place your lifeless body inside.
    Macabre notes on bagpipes in the distance;
    A prayer of “I shall fear no evil for thou art with me” spoken softly by mourners in unison.
    Your last ascension;
    Bestowing your soul to feed the heavens.
    A beautiful ritual
    played out by the legacies
    to give last respects to a loved one.
    A temporary seal
    To a lifelong hole inside one’s heart.
    For now, let the bagpipes play
    and be drugged by whispers of regret
    and remorse.
    ©blmatthews

  • blmatthews 2w

    Bleeding Heart 🩸

    My worries spread like pesky weeds,
    My heart doesn’t know how to not bleed.

    It forms a scab to cover the gash.
    A temporary resolve, a skin coated patch.

    My worries won’t leave the scab alone;
    They refuse to call anywhere else home

    The vines from the weeds slowly start to pick
    The edges of the scab where it’s not as thick.

    One little crack is all they require,
    For the worries to spread their vexing desire.

    The scab breaks open and the seeds get in;
    My heart never even stood a chance to win.

    Again it bleeds and I feel the ache.
    I beg of you please, my heart you must take.
    ©blmatthews

  • blmatthews 4w

    Briar Patch

    I hide in the briar patch.
    In the very center,
    right by the root.
    The grass is soft and cool,
    the soil dark and moist.
    The protective briars
    on the outside
    surround all of me,
    my shield.
    They will hurt anyone that
    tries to harm me,
    my weapon.
    My heart has become that briar patch.
    Soft and delicate in my core
    but very guarded.
    ©blmatthews

  • blmatthews 4w

    Yellow paper, Black Ink

    Crumpled in the trash can is a note
    written with black ink on yellow paper.
    He promised her and once again
    he didn’t keep his promise
    So she went to him.
    Looked through the window at the bar
    and found him with someone else.
    She was tall and curvy with long black hair
    Driving home, blinded by tears;
    She vowed that this would be the last time.
    On his desk she grabbed a yellow piece of paper and his favorite black pen and started to write to him about her leaving.
    The tug on her shirt grew to be more
    and she looked down at their daughter.
    With sleep in her eyes, her daughter asked
    “When will Daddy be home?”


    ©blmatthews

  • blmatthews 4w

    Dirt Road

    There is a paved road right beside you,
    yet you continue to walk in the dirt.
    Do you not believe yourself to be worthy of taking a higher road?
    Are you naturally more comfortable where it’s complicated?
    Please tell me so that I may understand.
    It appears you are determined to make things harder for yourself than they need to be.
    When I offer my hand to you, you look away.
    Destined to continue down your lonely dirt path,
    No one to walk beside you while you kick rocks and curse your existence.
    ©blmatthews

  • blmatthews 4w

    Side Effects

    These walls I’ve built;
    My anxious brain.
    The constant guilt;
    The unstoppable pain.

    Countless side effects
    from years of abuse.
    Counseling, medication
    proved no use.

    I paid your debt
    with thousands of tears.
    Regret and resentment
    built up for years.

    The devils right hand,
    have you no shame?
    But why the hell should you,
    When you’re never to blame.




    ©blmatthews

  • blmatthews 4w

    Without

    Sometimes I can’t help but
    to think of what my life will
    be like when you’re gone.
    I imagine my helplessness;
    Visiting your tombstone.
    The tears... oh the tears,
    So many flowing,
    Unstoppable.
    How will I be all alone?
    Nights that I used to kiss you goodnight,
    cease to exist.
    The dent in your pillow every morning
    now smooth and even.
    Do I sit in your chair or stay in mine?
    I’m already so hopeless without you
    and here you are;
    sitting there;
    Holding my hand.
    Not even realizing
    that I am putting myself through this.
    I squeeze your hand a little tighter.
    Look at you and smile.
    For I am already grieving something
    that hasn’t happened yet
    but I know one day will.
    I watch you more today,
    love you a little harder,
    and never say a word.
    ©blmatthews

  • blmatthews 4w

    Scalpel

    I saw the shiny blade
    that glinted in the light.
    Across the room;
    On a sanitized tray.
    Calling to me;
    Taunting me
    I took the scalpel
    and very carefully,
    very cautiously
    started to carve out my heart.
    Feverishly cutting
    to release the grenade within.
    The promise of a detrimental explosion.
    The pain of letting it go weighed less
    than the pain of keeping it
    Besides it’s no longer mine;
    It belongs to someone who will handle it
    more delicately than I.
    ©blmatthews