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  • bonesinclosets 1w

    "why aren't you here" || its just my thoughts

    it hurts to know that the one person who's supposed to love you the most on this world.

    is the one person who lets you drown. knowing he could've just been the first to reach his hand out for you, and pull you out of the water.

    he watches you bleed. leaves the wounds unattended.

    so you end up being the one to tell him. he's supposed to be your dad. he's supposed to protect you from the horrors of this world.

    not let you fend for yourself as he lives the high life.


  • bonesinclosets 1w

    "trust" || unwanted company

    "don't trust her." he says. i look at him, offended as i can be.

    "why not?"

    "she's not trustworthy." he glares at me. "you know that. she lied to you. she tried to hurt you."

    "everyone tries to hurt me." i deadpan.

    "but you trust them anyway! you need to stop! you'll get hurt!"

    "i always get hurt???"

    "so you need to stop!" he sounded like he was getting angry. i don't say anything. he calms down after a while. he glances at me, and sighs. "you won't listen, will you?"

    "no." i don't even think. he sighs in defeat.

    "...don't say i didn't warn you."

    "...i wasn't planning to."


  • bonesinclosets 1w

    "you won't" || unwanted company

    "i'll be okay." she insists

    "𝙣𝙤, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙣'𝙩." he argues.

    "i will."

    "𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕠𝕟'𝕥."

    "don't listen to him, he's lying, i'll be okay." she says.

    "...i don't lie."

    "you are 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫, you always lie."

    "𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕚 𝕜𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕖."


    "...𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮, 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮?"



  • bonesinclosets 1w

    "pretend in the end" || its just my thoughts

    this is the end

    so i'll pretend

    i'll pretend for you

    because it's all i can do

    ..please don't leave me behind

    if you would be so kind

    i'll be the best pretender i can be

    i will, i swear, you'll see!

    i won't weep

    i'll do it when i fall asleep

    i already have

    but instead, i'll laugh

    i'll laugh away the pain

    after all, it is the only way for me to stay sane


  • bonesinclosets 1w




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    just 20 seconds by adrienne (insertdisc5)

    "even in all this mayhem

    spending 20 second to make sure you're okay

    ..wasn't a waste"

  • bonesinclosets 1w

    "like a warm hug" || its just my thoughts

    it's like a warm hug
    when you notice someone you know from afar
    and watch how their expression changes into excitement, or joy, or relief just from seeing you

    it feels nice to be wanted sometimes


  • bonesinclosets 1w

    "kill myself" || its just my thoughts

    "you're asking if I want to kill myself?" she repeats. he hesitantly nods, afraid he might have offended her. but her expression remains the same.

    she seems to think for a while. then shrugs. "yeah, all the time," she turns away, and looks up to the sky. "but if i did, i don't think Jesus would be happy to see me so early."


  • bonesinclosets 1w

    "still awake" || its just my thoughts

    "i'm still awake." i say. i can feel his silent disappointment through the phone. i frown. "it's not my fault! my body still wants to live. not me."


  • bonesinclosets 1w

    "when i feel" || its just my thoughts

    "maybe when i feel like it," i tell him. "...then i'll find the time to be nice to myself."


  • bonesinclosets 2w

    sometimes you're alone in this world
    but that's okay
    those who cry out in pain, who are suffering.
    take comfort as when He returns. There will be no more tears. No more suffering.

    All that is present will pass and become anew.

    #vent #whenyourdadwentoutformilk #andcomesback #butplottwist #heactslikeheisntthere #soyouliterallyonlyhaveGodbyyourside

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    "absent" || unwanted company

    "i'm falling apart." i tell him.

    "i know." he merely replies.

    "i'm bleeding out." i argue.

    "i know." he doesn't even glance at me.

    "dad 𝙞'𝙢 𝙙𝙮𝙄𝙉𝙂!" i finally scream.

    This time, he looks at me. And he sees my tears, he sees the blood, he sees my wounds. he can see 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨. but he doesn't even blink.

    "i know." he whispers, then turns and walks away.

    leaving me with these unsolved feelings, and a heavy weight on my shoulders, no, my heart. it hurts.

    𝙞 𝙩 𝙝 𝙪 𝙧 𝙩 𝙨 𝙨 𝙤 𝙢 𝙪 𝙘 𝙝 .

    and once again. i fall apart. but this time, no one's there to see but the Eye of the Beholder.