It had been 5 years and 150 days since I have not seen him. I have not heard of him. Not a single word of his name appeared around me but they always reside hidden in my heart. There was a time when he was the only one I cared for. I liked him from the depths of my heart. Yes I had that feeling...feeling of drowning in him. We were close to each other. He knew all my secrets and I....i don't know if i know them all. He listened to all my cries and solace me every time. But he did not cry in front of me. He didn't share his troubles with me. He had pains but he always found someone else to talk out his pains. And u know it hurts...it hurts every time he treats other girls in the same he treats me. I didn't say that it was his fault but the feeling that he bowed in me...it never stops thinking and obsessing over him. He often says that we will meet when we would be adult but he was afraid that I might forget him. I always say that he was stupid to think that and whatever be the situation we will meet. He might no be serious but I was. Since then I always wrote in my diary..his name and a wish to meet him. I thought in case if I forget, my diary will remind me. Now it has been years and I have grew with a pain of losing him and finding him in those inked words of diary . Each day it's feeling grew more profound and I have been waiting patiently for it to fade away. I have typed his name of countless search bars of social media. I have even contacted his friend to reach him.... but he was like a distant memory.....always there but always missing. After doing my graduates, we were in internship. The hospitals and patients were our daily routine. Once we were sitting in the staff house, feeding on our afternoon meals. Suddenly the door banged and as usual the case of emergency was announced. Most of us were unwilling so the doctor pushed me to assist. With a little bit of resentment I agreed. For the first time his name appeared from someone's voice. The doctor told me about his case. He had brain tumour....critical condition. I rushed behind the doctor and in the theater I behold a face i was longing to see since years .. resting peacefully beneath the oxygen mask. Every step was like a struggle....my legs somewhere lost their control. My heart throbbed and a same old feeling appeared...the same feeling I felt long ago. A tears escaped....was I happy?? No...he was lying there struggling for life. He was in pain. After all those thoughts of meeting him and walkin with him on streets vanished. With the heavy heart I remain standing before his innocent visage. The way his scalp was cut, the bones of his head displaced, and the way his brain was operated they were the stones of pain striking the despondent heart of mine. He may not be aware but it was more painful for those hands to carry his blood that wrote his name thousand time...waiting for him. It was more painful for those eyes to see him still...lying on his bed .... struggling for life that once saw him smiling before it. Suddenly I heard something..... a beep....prolonged beep.