I already fell -- a little too hard if you ask me. Now it’s your turn.

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  • chaotichunch 3d

    What if I were a
    slender azureous
    gleeful marshmallow,
    that'd melt in the right
    cup of capucinno,
    flickering with effulgence?


  • chaotichunch 3d

    Literally the best advice I've received till date. Bestest, perhaps.
    1:02 p.m.

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    I'm presuming you likely have it better than most of humanity, If only by virtue of being here. True nihilism is about being the biggest ancap chad in existence. If you feel like life is pointless, that's not nihilism, it's fatalism. Your shit is not exactly revolutionary. Maybe stop disappearing up your own ass. You live in a world filled with a bunch of incredibly insane wild terrible wonderful things.Your entire concern is how everything affects you. Your priorities are backwards.

    Think more about the person you want to become. They say that tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. You have to work at being somebody future you will respect. Of fucking course it's easier said than done. If I could do everything for you, then you wouldn't really be an individual would you. You strike me very strongly as someone who has yet to be humbled. Adversity will change you. This is nothing.

    You remind me a lot of myself when I was much younger. Like 10 years ago. There's a kind of dunning-kruger level fallacy you experience as a young adult where the first few years of independence give you the sensation of ease. That it's all not nearly as terrifying as you had feared. The worst part of being an adult is living with your mistakes. You don't know what it is yet to have an existential crisis. I don't even really. Imagine being old when your own body is rejecting you. I can't even imagine that properly.

    My point is that you're at a sort of "idiot peak" in your life where you feel that, since you have eked out a niche in your mediocre existence being slightly better than those who live a thoroughly unexamined lifestyle, that you can go on being the byronic antihero and things will work out and it's not nearly as simple as you would envision it.

    Holy shit yes. You're young. Live life while you can. The truth is that you'll always be wiser than your 18 year old self. But never as fulfilled.I studied film in college. I can watch the same films I liked as a kid. Deconstruct them. Find out everything there is to know about them, revel in their complexity and artistry. But I can never experience them the same way I did when I was young, to be enraptured by something, to be awed by the beauty of something never before seen, you lose that as an adult. It's something you can only appreciate when it's gone.

    I remember the first time I bought a vinyl record, and how I did nothing but lie on the floor and listen to it. I wish I had that level of concentration now. Your brain adapts to a world unsuited for phantasmagoria. Don't worry about it. You'll figure it out in time. Just remember that every crisis you have isn't something nobody has been through before. Also you really ought to quit trying to apply poetic motifs to your life. Real life is ugly as fuck. Better get used to it now.

    'It's not true that you're the hero in your own movie. You're the extra in someone else's.'

    Man sorry for being so depressing lol. Unfortunately getting older only makes you aware of how shitty things are. And by the time you feel confident and learned enough to make a change, you're old and the world has moved on without you. Most people don't know how to criticize themselves and rely on others to do it for them. Life is full of weird fallacies. Like I said, I studied film, but when you study film, you study people. Well as an adult you're held to a higher standard. You can be a stupid asshole but only in ways society deems appropriate.

    What am I saying, you're an adult now.That's the nature of people who have a knack for observation. They become disillusioned with things. You're not quite sure what to be disillusioned with yet though. I'm very dissatisfied with what I perceive as my own weaknesss. Observation makes you over sensitive. It's a weird position to occupy. Sensitive enough to know things are wrong. Weak enough to long for the strength and solidarity of ignorance.

  • chaotichunch 3d

    I don't know anything anymore. Is that normal? Is it normal to notice the enormity of everything and just go blank?

    ~//A.M. Homes//

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    I don’t know who I am, and who I’m not, I don’t know who I’m supposed to be, and I miss who I was; I miss it every day, Kate, but there’s no place for that August anymore. No place for the version of me who wanted to go to school, and have a life, and feel human, because this world doesn’t need that August. It needs someone else.

    ~ Victoria Schwab, Our Dark Duet 

  • chaotichunch 3d

    i want to give up my bearings, slip out of who i am, shed everything, the way a snake discards old skin.

    ~//Khaled Hosseini//And the Mountains Echoed.

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    I waited for dawn, but only because I had forgotten how hard mornings were. For a second I'd be normal. Then came the dim awareness of something off, out of place. Then the truth came crashing down and that was it for the rest of the day. Sunlight was reproof. Shouldn't I feel better than I had in the dead of night.

    ~Francine Prose.

  • chaotichunch 3d

    When you're sad--like really sad--you only want to be with other people who are sad.

    ~//Nick Hornby//A Long Way Down.

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    "What can we do?" Mom asked again.
    I shrugged.
    But she kept asking, as if there were something she could do, until I just kind of crawled across the couch into her lap and my dad came over and held my legs really tight and I wrapped my arms all the way around my mom's middle and they held on to me for hours while the tide rolled in.

    ~ John Green, The Fault in Our Stars.

  • chaotichunch 3d

    Even so, there were times I saw freshness and beauty. I could smell the air, and I really loved rock 'n' roll. Tears were warm, and girls were beautiful, like dreams. I liked movie theaters, the darkness and intimacy, and I liked the deep, sad summer nights.

    //Haruki Murakami//

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    It's like I have this large
    black hole in my brain
    and it's sucking the life
    out of me. The answers
    are in there so I sit for
    hours and stare. No
    matter how hard and
    long I look, I only
    see darkness.

    ~ Katie McGarry

  • chaotichunch 4d



    So, there's this account called BEARTRAP on Mirakee. It's an illegal account where this random guy comments stupid shit vulgar stuff like 'I want bobs and vegena', 'where's your mom' and tell you what, he's a highly qualified jerk. I was reading a post where this guy resorted to his jerkiness and dropped a sexual comment, guess he's not aware that we term it 'cyber crime' or 'sexual abuse'.I replied saying that it was uncalled for and he should perhaps naff off. Despite trying to talk to him in the nicest possible way, he continued to jerk around.

    We had some exchange of words, and I didn't resort to any kind of abusive language even then. What this person then does is, cunningly changes the username of his Mirakee account to PROXY_FOXY and assures us that the previous guy who was indulging in the unmannerly act has been blocked and that we should report such people asap. We were content and delighted to know that there are people who nevertheless believe in humane acts of reporting such Ill-bred sick people and banning them.

    Now, what this guy did next was unbelievable. He actually manages two accounts on Mirakee. The other account is named IAMEDEN I guess. He changes the username according to his convenience and uses both of them correspondingly. On one hand he carries out the abuse and uncouthly behavior, while on the other hand he tells us that the person indulging in abuse has been banned. It took us sometime to figure this out, but I'm glad we could.

    Honestly, I couldn't even imagine that this guy would drop down to such levels of inhuman disrespectful tactics. I wouldn't usually type it out this way, but I am so very pissed. This incident kinda ruined my day. Not a very pleasant start to a Friday morning. I don't really understand why people go around commenting stuff like that. Do you not once think whether it's right or wrong? Sane or not? You can't go around waving a flag, contending that you've got an unregulated right to bullshit around in the name of Freedom of speech. That's so not done man!

    All I expect each one of you who's reading this to do, is to report the accounts with any of the above three usernames, so that Mirakee pays heed to the number of reportings and this person gets kicked out of here as soon as possible. I'm sure we wouldn't want this person to cause annoyance to any one of us! Below is an attachment of the comment section where this person was bullshiting around. Have a look.

    @readwriteunite @mirakeeworld @mirakee @mistytwist @writersnetwork @beartrap @iameden @proxy_foxy #sexualabuse #mirakee #mirakeeworld #readwriteunite #safeness #cybercrime


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  • chaotichunch 4d

    I wish....

  • chaotichunch 5d

    Inflation peaking it's way up? ��
    P.c. pinterest ☘

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    Would Heartbeats
    you. just
    exchange got
    an. expensive?
    heart ©chaotichunch

  • chaotichunch 1w

    Shackle the free-flowing
    wave that I am,
    Unclasp the seashells
    of my shoreline.
    Befoul the seventeen
    sandcastles I once built,
    Rinse your chapped feet
    in my charcoal sublime.
    Remind me than I'm more
    than an elfin rumour,
    Stockpiling turmoil from
    the wrack line.
    Call me a betrayer.
    I betray gaiety.
    A stigma of chaos
    or chaotiphile?
    P.c. pinterest ��

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    I breathe sand like a sirocco,
    Tip-toeing over disdained sand dunes,
    And spattering the fortress' in my nerves.