I've lost people I never wanted to.Somewhere it was all my fault.I got attached,too attached that when they left,they took a part of me. I haven't healed,never will,but I've accepted the truth and that, no matter how hard you try,you can't make people stay,you can't make them love you.
At the end,they all leave and once again,I'm sitting all alone by myself.
Everyone is selfish,I know that by now but stupid heart just doesn't understand.It still cares,loves and lives.
Why can't I be cruel just like them? Why can't I just stop caring? Why do I keep forgiving those I shouldn't? Why do I put them before me? Why do I stay when I should leave?
Cause simply,Its not me.Its not in my heart to see someone in pain because of me.I can't hurt people,I simply can't.
I don't like who I am becoming..I never liked me I guess.Self-love they say but its hard,its not so easy when everyday you look at yourself and cry. Those eyes are never dry,those wrists are not like yours.
Its hard to act everyday that nothing's wrong,that you're okay when you are breaking,when that hope to live just dies and you know, it can't come back. I don't want to tell this to anyone cause I know nothing will change,that they will all leave and even if they won't,I am scared.
Sometimes its better not to talk,about anything to anyone.
I am tired of being let down. I am tired of all these lies. I am tired of getting hurt. I am tired of my all insecurities. I am tired of living. I am tired. I have lost all form of happiness.
I'll always be that girl you will find smiling,who will never show the mess she is in,the girl who will say she is fine when she is numb.
The girl who chose to live even when there was nothing left
Strong hearts can break too but as said, Broken people blossom into warriors.
You are survivor. You are a fighter. You are a warrior.