Smiles adorn my gloomy face For I am gifted with your royal grace Morns begin with your maiden thought O'darl,do not let my bliss to rot Talking with you warms my soul And earn your smile my only goal On every beat,this heart thanks me As every vein rejoices at carrying thee You can have me as your muse Molten be worries when souls fuse Turning my dead heart to the romantic one Scarred moon has outshone the blazing sun This soul is pure,as love stuffes its core Darling,am falling for you,more and more Elated to have you as my love Flying high is this feeble dove Trust you more than my own heart All I dread now is to live apart Moon and back,sums your love Chirping bird I am,thy heart my bough Doubtless,we have recently met Fade this love,oh,I won't ever let The ship of love does face the wreck One of us when longs for the 'check' Of course I seek that mighty reason Ever you dress as the changing season May our love bud attain the full bloom Pains be swept and ended be the gloom
Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend or a family member. They might have some insights that you can’t identify yourself, which might help you figure out what’s causing your sadness. Write down your feelings. The causes of your sadness may become more obvious if you write about what’s happening in your life and how you feel about it. Face things head on. Try not to stay in bed all day avoiding things. If you can work out what’s getting you down, then you’ll be in a better position to turn your feelings around. Problem-solving strategies can be really helpful in overcoming some issues. If the cause of your sadness isn’t really something that can be solved, though, you might need to focus on developing coping strategies instead.
I feel so alone You never have to cope with emotional problems on your own. A counsellor can help you figure out what’s going on, guide you through strategies to overcome your sadness, and recognise if something more serious is going on.
Are you waking up most days just feeling “blah”? Perhaps you don’t want to do anything except lie like a couch potato and watch TV—and even that is unsatisfying. You not only feel low energy, but kind of miserable. Perhaps you’re mad at yourself for not getting the house cleaned, not getting your work done, or not getting those papers filed. Perhaps you’re feeling a bit lonely, left out by friends or unsupported by family. You may dwell on mounting bills or the fact that you’re 10 or 20 pounds overweight. You may feel aches and pains in your neck or back. Or you may just may feel grouchy and want to remain undisturbed by life’s demands and conversational opportunities. You may compare yourself unfavorably to your friend, roommate, cousin, or neighbor, who always seems to be on time, well-groomed, and on track to meet her goals. We all have those “blah” days—but why do they happen, and what can we do about them? Below are ten scientific reasons why you may be feeling out of sorts.
Brain Chemicals Some of us have brains that are more sensitive to the effects of stress. Researchers are just beginning to uncover the biochemistry behind this differential. The most common forms of antidepressants target the neurotransmitters serotonin and norepinephrine because some research concludes that low levels of these chemical motivators are part of what makes us depressed. However, only some people respond well to the most common forms of antidepressants, while others try drug after drug with no substantial mood improvement. A recent research study, published earlier this year in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, may reveal the reason why. The research suggests that differences in the way our brain’s process a chemical called galanin may make some of us less resilient and able to bounce back after difficult experiences.
The Weather Less sunshine during the winter months can give us the blues, and this effect is more pronounced for some people than others. Researchers Keller and colleagues studied hundreds of people and found that during the spring, moods improved; participants also reported more outdoor activities. We may also be more cognitively flexible and able to think creatively about solving our problems in the spring, compared to winter. A subgroup of people suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, a condition in which the winter blues turn into full-blown depression along with associated changes in sleep, appetite, and motivation. Sufferers are more likely to be women. Exposure to outdoor sunlight also provides us with vitamin D, a substance with clear links to depressed mood.
Vitamin D Most people in the US have insufficient or deficient levels of Vitamin D. The reasons are not clear, but could be related to nutrition and insufficient sun exposure. People with dark skin are more vulnerable to vitamin D deficiency, due to a decreased ability to process vitamin D from sunlight. Vitamin D deficiency has been statistically linked to depression. In a large Dutch study by Hoogendijk and colleagues (2008) of over 1,200 persons aged 65 and older, levels of vitamin D were 14 percent lower in persons with minor or major depressive disorder when compared to those not showing depressed mood.
Hormones Hormones are substances produced by the endocrine glands that influence many bodily functions, including growth and development, mood, sexual function, and metabolism. Levels of certain hormones, such as those produced by the thyroid gland, can be factors in depression. In addition, some symptoms of depression are associated with thyroid conditions. Hormones fluctuate during the menstrual cycle and may create vulnerability to sad or depressed moods in the premenstrual period, as well as during peri-menopause, and menopause. There are individual differences in how much our moods are vulnerable to the effects of hormones. If you are more vulnerable, you may want to consult a physician to see if medications are needed to help regulate your hormones. You could also try alternative medicine treatments, such as acupuncture, to reduce hormone-related mood imbalance.
Expectations Our moods are not only a function of what happens to us, but also of how we view the events in our lives and the meanings we assign to them. There are stages in most of our lives in which we seem to be working hard and doing all the right things, but don’t see many external rewards coming our way. We may not be paid what we feel we are worth or be able to afford as nice a house, car, or vacation as our friends. We may struggle to find the right partner, while our friends or siblings seem to have no problem finding love. We may have to work longer and harder than our friends to get the same grade on a test or earn a living. We may experience a difficult breakup or loss. Life naturally isn’t fair; periods of struggle, suffering, and loss are inevitable. If we expect fair or special treatment all the time or expect things never to change, we are bound to be disappointed. So if you’re feeling sad because of recent events, remind yourself that hard times are part of life and will pass. You can also try to deliberately broaden your view and focus on the good parts of your life or the experiences you are proud of.
THE BASICS What Is Depression? Find a therapist who can help with depression. Childhood Adverse Events Stressful life events can wear down our physical and mental resources, making us more vulnerable to both depression and physical illnesses. A history of childhood trauma, including abuse, poverty, or loss of a parent, can reset our developing brains to be less cognitively flexible. It seems that our brains naturally go into a “fight, flight, freeze” response to stress or a threat, and we often have to use our prefrontal cortex or executive center to get out of this state. Prolonged stress in childhood can make our brains less interconnected and resilient; our brains can more easily get “stuck” in negative thinking patterns or stressed out states, resulting in us being less able to change tracks.
Stresses Piling Up As Robert Sapolsky argues in his book Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, our human stress response systems were designed to respond to acute, time-limited stressors that normally require a physical response. When our ancestors had chased off that marauding tiger, they could relax and eat. The stressors in today’s world are much more chronic and less able to be controlled by taking action, and we often don’t get the break afterwards to recover and regroup. Financial stress, loneliness, constant fighting with loved ones, being bullied, long commutes, academic or job demands, or unemployment can drag on, triggering a cascade of effects across many areas of our lives. When stresses hit us one after the other without time for recovery, they can leave us depleted and despondent, with insufficient pep to bounce back.
Negative Ruminations You may be feeling bad because you’re sitting around brooding about life’s disappointments or trying to find a reason why things aren’t going your way. Research studies by University of Michigan psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema and colleagues show that sitting around thinking about about your negative mood or negative events just makes everything worse. One negative thought leads to another, and then another—until you get buried in a mountain of problems and negative predictions. This can easily lead to a loss of perspective and motivation, one that can interfere with actually taking action aimed at addressing the problem. If you find yourself in a negative thinking cycle, get up immediately and do something else pleasant or neutral to engage your mind. This can be as simple as emptying the dishwasher, rearranging your closet, going for a walk, talking to a friend or getting on with a work project.