dusky_dawn

�� Nights define me But Days Bound me.

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  • dusky_dawn 18h

    I Have an Old habit of Travelling
    To Odd places -The Ones where
    Bushes are alive but seems dead,
    The Ones where bird scream their
    Heart out on those heavy mornings
    But will turn quiet In seconds,
    The Ones where the Luggage will
    Force my knees to move but at the
    Same time will turn Numb,
    The Ones where Dawn will witness
    Light but at the same time welcomes
    Darkness,The Ones where Dusk creeps me
    out even when the torch is sleeping soundly
    Within that sling and at the same time
    Makes me smile with the weird fireflies
    Making a way for me to brighten the Night!!

    I Have an Old habit of falling for
    The Broken Souls - The ones who
    Had witnessed series of
    Rejections and heartbreaks
    I had this habit when one monsoon
    I stumbled upon a grey hoodie and
    Beard that I still pen poetries about
    The Monsoon of 2007 Drenched
    Me into the Hues of mysteries
    That his eyes held and how those
    Mysteries were imprinted into the
    Diary of confessions and how
    Silly of me to Read them sitting
    Under that Moonlight,
    Of how expectations supplied
    Him carbon dioxide,
    Of how He turned out be a bad
    Son!! Of how he turned out to be
    Failed lover !! Of how the Professional
    Degree captivated him away from his
    Dream of being a Painter!!
    I fell in love with that dejected Soul,
    I fell in love with the Fuzzy wind,
    I fell for a Soul broken so badly,
    I fell for the Thorns imbedded
    In the Grey hoodie and I was kissed
    By the Stuble so deep.

    I Have an Old habit of falling for
    The Shady Poets,
    The Poetries of whom will
    Turn the tongue Sour and
    Put the heart at Risk
    I had this habit from the time
    When I Realised I need some
    Seriousness in life -With that I mean
    When I turned "20 + 5 ".How the Dark
    Poetries by the Anonymous Poet
    Invited my sleep to sleep with them!!
    How the Heartbreaks coloured
    In dark Pink in that poetries invited
    My Heart to feel the touch of pain for once!!
    How the Rides of love with the Bourbon
    Touch running within the veins of poetries
    Invited the Scotch running within my throat
    To Hide the anonymous rides of Secrets!!
    How the Crispy notes the ones which the poetries left me to read when the clock strikes 1:30 am!!
    How the Poetries by Mr anonymous turned
    A Permanant home after facing the reckless storms!!
    How the Strawberry Ink drenched in his Poetries
    Made love to the Blues of my Writings.

    //An Old habit to fall for the wrong ones

    An Old habit to fall again and again.

    - An Old habit to fail again and again//


    ©dusky_dawn

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  • dusky_dawn 1d

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  • dusky_dawn 1d

    Marshmallows are my companion
    From the time when the Milk teeth
    Left me to Never visit me again to
    The Time when the Dentist
    Appointments turned sweeter &
    They have always been like a
    Secret diary Breathing the
    Darkest and the Deadliest secrets
    Winters turned its suspicion mode
    On whenever It enters our home,
    Of how Marshmallows turned
    Silent from the constant bickering!!
    Of how Marshmallows Started to
    Gobble up the Secrets one by one &
    Stops with the Blink of an eye!!
    Of how Marshmallows Turned sour
    When the December prepared that
    Lengthy questionaire with a frown
    On its seasonal forehead!!
    Of how the secrets sleep in the Embrace
    Of Marshmallows -From first breakup
    To How I broke someone's heart,
    From the Fight in the Middle school,
    To How i Fight with my Demons.

    (They still sit with me on the same bed
    And They still let me share my secrets)

    Grilled sandwiches and me
    Were never on good terms
    Till 1st september,2007
    Then One summer when
    The Heat started to prick my
    Naked arms and the Moles of
    Neck and On the left side of my face
    Do i remember - Yes i do!!
    When the Famous bakery in town
    Held my hand and ushered me in
    With so many smiling sandwiches
    Looking at me with hopeful eyes
    But still i ignored their Cute little
    Smiles but when my first love
    Entered the bakery with the Chef's
    Cap and Then I remember how
    Those Freaky grilled sandwiches
    Smirked at me and then how
    He asked me to try his own
    Creation -The freaking grilled
    Sandwiches(Who were thinking inwardly
    That they won -Maybe because they did)
    That day the taste sounded different,
    That Day taste Smelt different,
    That Day Maybe I turned different.

    (We still grill sandwiches together,
    But Now with me being the house chef)

    Hot cocoa witnessed my super high's
    And super low's When one autumn
    In the Middle of nowhere the So called
    Society dumped so many questions
    On my Dignity and My self respect
    With me being the centre of attraction
    (Me being the Clown)
    When the Darkest night came into
    My Room and Blew off all the Lamps
    And Lights that never left me alone
    From Childhood (That could never be
    Counted a s childhood) The hot cocoa
    Resting on the side table Started to warm
    my sleepy hands and the hot air started
    To sprinkle the seeds of Dreams in my brain,
    Of how it turned out to be the Blanket in that
    Hot as well as cold night and how it burnt
    The Bridges where the people stood asking
    Me about my useless existence.
    Of how when it touched the sour throat
    Turned the Little tasteles particles
    Warm from the Coldness that the throat
    Is throwing on them.

    (Hot cocoa still gives me the same warmth
    That it gave me when the lights were turned off)

    The Mushrooms came in spring,
    With bag on its head carrying a list
    Of dreams i had dreamt but forgot
    When the childhood left me with
    The anxiety and depression of teens
    Of how many times the Psychiatrist
    Forced me to Spill out the pain that
    Is eating me from years!!
    Of how many times I lied constantly
    To the Psychiatrist and to myself
    Of being mentally fine!!
    Of how many times the grass hated my touch!!
    Of how many times the Leaves cocoon themselves
    When the shadow of mine crosses them!!
    Of how many times the Clocks stood up on their feet to run away from waking me up from the deep slumber!!
    Of how many times The Nights gave me
    The Handkerchief when they turned wet
    From crying at 2.00 am!!
    Of how many times I agreed that I have lost my mind!!
    Of how many times No one came to Take me to the Graveyard( I guess that is the place where the dead sleeps peacefully).
    Of how many Days and Nights Turned their back on me,!!
    Of how many times I gave up!!
    Of how many times!!

    (They still come every year with that list,
    But Returns when the list stumbles upon the bin)

    ©dusky_dawn
    (N.M)

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    @youngdumb ♥♥ (Ridziii i know it's lil late but finally i posted)��

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  • dusky_dawn 2d

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  • dusky_dawn 3d

    At 9,
    When Wrinkled Clothes
    Accused me of Imperfection
    I burnt that thin piece of cloth
    With Dad's favourite lighter
    With Fire turning its Anger mode on.
    I remember how The Clothes
    Sprinkled the Dead Pieces of
    Cloth on my hand leaving me
    With a Regret and an accusation
    "At the age 09,I Accepted the tag
    Of being bad in the Wrinkled story
    Of Crumpled and Dead Clothes".

    (Age of Regrets and Wrinkled Present)

    At 12,
    When Winters kissed my Knuckles
    Before its departure and With the
    Heavy head I bid adieu to Witty winters
    With Lemon juice in One hand that was
    Injured when I broke the Glass -The one
    I had in my room dressed up in the vase
    Gifted by Mom on the Birthday of her
    Favourite child that She always denied.
    The Shattered glass Ripped the skin
    Of the Feet (The Pink turned Scarlet).
    For Once I felt i won't be Crowned with
    The Tag of being a Bad Person -
    Winters laughed out loud on my Teary face
    With the Frozen crown in its wings
    "At the age of 12, Broken pieces of glass
    Glared at me for stopping their breathing
    Process"

    (Age of Getting Crowned With the Frozen
    Crown of Accusations)

    At 16,
    When So called "First love"
    Entered My home from
    The Balcony after crossing
    The Border with so many
    Security forces standing in
    Front of the Large gates of
    The So Called home made
    Me feel alive for the first time,
    With the First kiss wrapped
    In the Box of Bournville
    And The Candies full
    of Orange and Strawberry flavour
    Of how One day all the Phone calls
    From 2 hours turned to few seconds long,
    Of How one by one he Broke the wires
    Of the heart and How he finally broke me.
    Of How the heartbreak first sounded Grey
    Then turned into the pool of Maroon.
    Of How the Feelings stopped feeling the
    Air that Ran behind me.
    I was trying to not to be bad in this story
    Remember how I slapped the hell out of you
    In front of that Whole School that Crowned
    Me as the Bad person and You as a victim.

    (Age of gulping the Candies of Pain alive)

    At 20,
    When I planned to Finally Run away
    From the Mess I have created After
    That Bubblegum accident at the college
    How those Two best friends started to
    Hate my existence with leaving me
    Alone to drown into the 2.am Black
    Coffee and How the Seniority took
    Advantage when the Touch full
    Of Garbage and Filth Gave me chills
    Till today with the Nightmare
    Sitting in front of me Even in
    The Mornings when even the Silky
    Sheets touch my bare arms and the Naked
    Legs giving them the Goosebumps of Pain.
    Of How the Stares full of "She is insane"
    Drank the Veins trying to live.
    Of how after months of Convincing
    The Travelling trip (How naive i was to think
    That for once i will live) Turned into a living
    Nightmare when Forced kisses full of ice
    Were thrown onto me Leaving me numb
    With my Poetries screaming in agony.
    Again i turned bad in someone's story
    With the Knife in one hand Gave him
    The Scars on his hands and the Head
    With which he tried to Touch and Spread
    His filth on my body.

    (Age of Keeping quiet and Colouring oneself
    In Filth)

    At 25,
    I surrendered,
    Myself to the Depression
    Allowing it to live within me
    To keep me safe from the touch,
    The Filth that corrupted me
    I Surrendered......

    (I am a Bad person,
    I Tried to Stop the Breathing
    I Tried to Strangle my Thoughts that wanted to live
    I am a Bad person
    In My Story as well)

    ©dusky_dawn
    (N.M)

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    #Weallarebadinsomeonesstory #harsh #pain #fiction

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  • dusky_dawn 4d

    12th December,2008

    Until this D-A-T-E
    My Poetries were Virgin
    Dressed up into 8-9 layers of protection,
    15:09 -When my poetries stumbled
    Upon the Dark and Mysterious poetries
    Of Yours -They started walking in the
    Direction of your footsteps with Your
    Poetries walking In front and mine
    At behind and They Gasped looking
    At the Speed your words were travelling
    And Once they Reached the Doorsteps
    Of Your diary -Your poetries asked mine
    To Enter the Crispy house of Emotions
    And My poetries did Entered unaware of the Emotional Trauma they were about to dance through.

    Of How my words surrendered their soul,
    In the Hands of Metaphors your poetries held
    And the Ones they tagged as crown in their poetries,
    Of how under that Dusky shelter,
    The Layers of heart were Taken off
    With the Promises (That will never be fulfilled)
    And the Confessions (That were never true)
    Of how the words started to Shrink
    And Tried to settle in some corner of the pages
    Scared and Feeling Loved at the Same time
    Of how they Confessed under the stars and moon
    That were pasted on the pages of your diary
    To keep an Illusion of L-O-V-E.
    Of how the Truth written N-E-V-E-R/ L-I-E
    On the Top of that Grey page Lied again and again
    On the face and When My poetries turn back
    To their original positions after Trying to
    Heal the Pain of Grey scars.

    Of How the Kisses full of love turned aggresive
    With Scarlet Queen find its real home- On the Lips of poetries,Of How the Hugs full of care Turned the Back into the hues of Dark blue marks,Of How the Pages turned Numb from the Darkness your every single word held, Of How The Eyes of your poetries Filled with Petals of lust-The Ones that Claims to hold the Ocean of love,Of How the Poetries hands Tried to captivate the Injured wrists With a bundle of Rope,Of How the Nails ripped the skin on the arms,
    On the Legs that never stood after that,
    On the Stomach that never Spoke after that,
    On the Back that Has been Numb from years,
    On the Face that's been burning from ages now.

    Night passed but the days after the torture
    That you claim as love -My Poetries tried
    To drown into the White liquid termed "Poison"
    My poetries tried to strangle themselves
    With the Nib of My senseless pen,
    My Poetries tried to jump in the Ocean
    Of Melancholy but the attempt failed.

    -My Poetries are trying to survive,
    Because You killed them When they were living.

    ©dusky_dawn
    (N.M)

    #memories @youngdumb

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  • dusky_dawn 4d

    Talabgaar -Seeker.

    #random #tmnh #tmmh

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  • dusky_dawn 4d

    Some days are some days!!
    Tasteless,Boring and The ones
    That Freak you out even when
    You were looking at the trees of
    Oranges -I did freaked out when
    On a sunny day -A sunny orange
    Decided to fell on the Curls
    That took 2 hours to get comfortable
    On my head and then that Orange
    Monster made them shriek loudly.

    /I Freak out when the Oranges stares back at me//

    Some days are some days!!
    You fell out of words and
    Some days words fell on you
    With the Feelings filling
    Their cones of Ice cream
    Full of Insanity and Heartbreak
    Words turned Numb when
    The Crispy cone of hope started
    To break slowly and slowly in bits.
    The Fingers fought for years
    To Write that One word
    Which will turn the events of life,
    Which will turn the Breathing normal.

    //I fail on that "Some days" -I really do//

    Some days are some days!!
    I try to feel the feelings,
    I try to Keep them in the Pockets of my pants,
    I try to Hold them long in the Plate of Berries,
    I try to Mix them in the Strawberry juice and Drink
    The entire juice in seconds or sometimes in minutes,
    I can't hold the Breathing for long,
    I try to breathe underwater with water blessing me
    With Excessive Salt that I gulp everynight when i drink tears when I drown in memories.
    I try to Eat the Air that surrounds me
    On the days when the Naked soul
    Tear the senses apart leaving me numb,
    I Try to Kiss the Scars on the fingers,
    From excessive writing -Writing of
    Links that will link the Boundaries of
    My Broken soul with a Fixed soul.

    //I Guess the Pockets of My pants are torn//

    Some days are some days,
    When Love stories break the tissues
    When Death screams in my ears loudly,
    When the Depression takes birth in daylight,
    When the Anxiety Interwines my hand in its,
    When the Pillows don't let me cuddle,
    When the Pen tries to leave me alone,
    When the Books Rips my soul in thousand pieces,
    When the Headphones don't let me hear the Lyrics,
    When the Water bottles don't let me drink the last drop of water - Thirst for love will never die.

    //Some days are just Some days.//

    ©dusky_dawn
    (N.M)

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  • dusky_dawn 4d

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  • dusky_dawn 1w

    1)Of how you spent nights staring at the Posters pasted on the wall (Atleast posters can call the wall their home).The Scissors never thought you are arguing back, The Razor lying in that corner never abused you and the Pills never made you feel as if you were some mistake.You never had someone who could have listened to your 2.am suicidal thoughts.You never had someone who could have suggested you to consult someone who could help you.You never had someone who can take the pills out of your hand and threw them away in that bin where your hands can't reach.You never had someone with whom you can discuss the queries you have from the early childhood to the adulthood that everyone claimed to be perfect.

    (Try to listen to the sound of Posters -The One's with the motivation quotes and the One with N-O//T-O//
    S-U-I-C-D-E// Pleading to you to throw the Scissors away and to stop yourself for giving the authority to someone to rule your mind)

    2)Of how you spent Your days alone with the scars resting on your wrists wrapped up in the bandage and the one that was changed everyday depending on the Harm you caused yourself for satisfying others.The Badge of Weird that they had gifted you
    Walks with you from day to night killing you with the praises and then how you go for a walk to release the pain that is ripping your apart with every second but then the trip back home how you return with a packet of blades and then making them sleep into the cabinate to wake them up at midnight to find solace when they'll touch the pink skin.

    (Try to listen the sound of the skin that's been pleading to you to not rip it apart)

    3)Of how you spent the hours with the unfair afternoons when the Anxiety holds your hand and tries to push you into the hole of misery.When you keep the bottle of pills handy and how you tremble when a known face tried to make a long conversation with you and how insecured you feel when so many smiling faces tried to contact you.How your breathing starts to get weird when you see a happy family walking in the park.The Pills never made you feel as if you are some mistake as if the pill never wanted you to gulp it.Atleast the Pill don't let you feel unwanted just like they do Riding on the bike of silence for the whole year.

    (Try to listen to the sounds the pills made as if crying to stop you from gulping them because even they know You deserve to live and not to die)

    The unwanted thoughts will keep running until and unless you'll put a fullstop on them.Until and unless you'll sprinkle the Spray of -Y-O-U//D-O-N-T//C-A-R-E
    Somedays you'll feel lost but try to give 1% to the positivity in this game of hide and seek and let positivity find you.Try to listen to the silence -I agree you don't go along with the smiling faces and the People or the one's claiming that they are so closed one's but try to Breathe the Motivation quotes that are planted in the posters or The one's you read to make yourself better -Read them more.

    Days will come when you'll feel that -This is it.Exactly this has to be it but not the Time that you calculated every night that you live for but calculate the time with a due date of you to stop those things hitting you hard on the shell of your heart.Days will come when you'll Feel that the Razors were not doing well and the Blades started to get comfortable with you -Pick the razors and blades and throw them into the Bin -Don't wait for someone else to do that.

    //Stop giving someone else the Right
    To break you, To make you,
    Your Life is yours to Live &
    Not theirs to Take
    Remember,
    That the sun waits to sprinkle sunshine on you,
    The Moon waits to drench you into the light of
    Positivity. "Just give a chance"
    Try to believe in the process of Believing yourself
    Try to Fight because You won't get a life to live
    Twice//

    ©dusky_dawn
    (N.M)

    On Suicide prevention day I wanted to request the one's going through this phase -Try to see what life holds for you -Value Life and Value yourself.

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