679 posts
  • amatullah_bm 2d

    Neither expect sympathy nor agony from people who care less about your painful past. People who do not care about you, they truly do not care about you. No buts, No Ifs.
    Keep your expectations low, Accept their choices of not caring and Keep moving forward.
    You are the person to turn on the next page of your life and not them.

  • israelmgonzalez 4d

    On the Astros and Their Apologies

    The 2019-2020 baseball off-season has been dominated by the scandal surrounding the Houston Astros and their illegal sign stealing practices. This week, baseball fans were treated to the spectacle of Astros owner Jim Crane and stars Jose Altuve and Alex Bregman apologizing for the team's sign stealing scandal. I use the term 'apologizing' loosely here. It was a PR move if anything and I felt little in the way of sincerity from any of the parties. Bregman and Altuve have both been mocked mercilessly for the bad acting and the "we are sorry for the choices that were made" lines. Crane gave us the gem of "it didn't affect the game" as a way of minimizing the fact that the organization from top to bottom engaged in cheating mechanisms since late 2016.

    If the whole sorry spectacle reinforced anything, it is that the Astros organization has learned little from precious PR gaffes. You may recall the disgraceful utterance of "I'm ******* glad we got Osuna" by assistant GM Brandon Taubman towards a female reporter during the playoffs this year and the pathetic attempt at covering it up afterwards. (Blue Jays fans are familiar with the domestic violence case that led to Roberto Osuna being traded away in 2018.) You may also recall manager A.J. Hinch dismissing questions around the Yankees' allegations of sign stealing in the 2019 ALCS with a smarmy arrogance that would make a university professor or a senior bureaucrat blush.

    This organization seems to have a serious problem with crisis management and at this point, they have thrown away virtually all the good will from 2017. What had been a heart warming story of a city and its team rallying around the slogan "Houston Strong" in the wake of the destruction from hurricane Harvey is now irredeemably tainted. Nobody escapes without reputational damage here. Carlos Beltran was considered by many as a sure fire hall of famer. In light of his involvement in this, who knows how the writers will vote once he becomes eligible. The lofty achievements of the teams stars, Bregman, Altuve, Springer, Correa etc. immediately come into question, as well they should. Their heroic status among fans, is now likely gone for good. And these players do themselves no favors by regurgitating tired platitudes about 'moving forward' and 'being remorseful for the choices made'. If anything, they did their holes a little deeper as they continue to lose the respect of their peers and of the fans. For his part, manager A.J. Hinch and his coaching staff were either had dubious leadership ability (Hinch's own insinuation in his sit-down with Tom Verducci) or were more amenable to the sign stealing than Hinch wants to let on. Which was it?

    The sign stealing scandal however has consequences reaching beyond the Astros and their players. The 2018 World Series champion Red Sox are under investigation for illegal sign stealing practices themselves. Many fans, myself included, have also asked the question: "What other teams are engaging in these types of practices?". This has the potential to grow into a scandal akin to the steroid fiasco of a decade and change ago, and it probably will. The league's punishment of Hinch and GM Jeff Luhnow (one year bans for both) has been roundly criticized as insufficient. Many also argue that the Astros 2017 title is tainted and should therefore be stripped. Commissioner Rob Manfred is already under fire for his proposed rule changes around pace of play, the proposed new playoff format and the poor marketing of baseball stars relative to stars in other sports. He was soundly excoriated by Reds pitcher Trevor Bauer for this in a video just this week and having watched the video, I concur with a lot of Bauer's points. Manfred's tenure as commissioner will likely be defined by his response to the Astros' scandal more than anything else and frankly, as of now, I question if we would like his legacy in the wake of all this.

    In the end, the game will emerge from this like it did from the seven White Sox players conspiring to throw the World Series a hundred years ago. Before it does though, it will leave many tarnished reputations and many disillusioned fans. Player and fan reaction has shown perfunctory one year bans for Hinch and Luhnow won't quell the outrage. A statement needs to be made to the players who benefited from the cheating and to other teams who may engage or may already be engaging in using technology to cheat.

  • spalymo1002 1w


    Mirrors don't lie.
    They show ALL of us.
    They show us our beauty, but we never pay attention to that.
    Instead we let it show us our flaws.
    Every insecurity we have, it shouts back to us in our reflection.
    But is it the mirror pointing out our every indifference?
    Or our mind?


  • void_soul 1w

    She is lucky who has such a campanion

    He - Baby , shall we?
    She- love you
    He- Baby, shouldn't we?
    She- No baby, I'm sorry
    He- why baby ?
    She- It hurts baby and I fear bleeding
    He- I'm sorry , we won't.

  • wordy_girl1621 1w


    Standing infront of the mirror,
    I see a girl in her perfect fitted clothes,
    Trying to wink an eye,
    And think how beautiful she is,
    Until she sees acne on her face,
    And it makes her feel bad about herself,
    And then her questions start with how do I look,
    Am I obese?
    Do I look ugly?
    Will anyone like me?
    And then there's a cycle of questions in her mind until she comes back in time and realise how beautiful she is from inside.

  • revucs1994 1w

    It stood staring at me, My reflection
    Sometimes happy,
    Sometimes sad,
    Sometimes the deepest anger
    Arising from hatred, reddest fire in the eyes.
    I love myself in the mirror
    Its My trueself,
    Revealing my reality
    Unveiling My mask outerworld see,
    Its my truest self of all time.


  • mk_ray 1w

    Me myself

    Hush your whispers
    Do I look perfect
    Nah I don't
    Dull but okay
    I can see me over the other side
    But is that me really I'm looking at
    Or is it someone else
    Somethings that led me to this
    Present here
    And I'm just looking through me
    Staring and recollecting my past
    Why am I doing this
    While I have all my moment here
    Dissolve in this moment
    I think I'm in search of something else
    Something more

  • immortalbeauty 1w

    कब तक single
    ही देखेगा मुझे......

  • _ashwini3157 1w

    I see my confidence, hope and smile.
    Yap, I like it.
    Yap it stares and Queries!
    Are you ready to face hard days?


  • satan_lil_helper_ 1w


    I see someone who isn't me,
    I see a body that doesn't macth the man I am,
    I see someone that isn't me,
    I see a cell to a mind that wants to wander.

    Hosntly ,I hate what I see
    I wish I could erase what I see and draw myself.

    In a sense ...it shows what people see ....not what you see.

    Why do you look like that?
    What are you gonna do with your life?
    Are you happy?
    My reflection asks to many questions to count

  • shivtado 1w


    In the mirror,
    I see the me
    Which isn't me,
    Reflections of my
    Uncertainties, a bleak
    hope among them,
    A puzzle standing
    Infront of me,
    To be accepted
    Not solved

  • israelmgonzalez 2w

    An Inquiry

    It seems I've awoken to a new reality
    You and your stuff are all gone
    Looks like you're taking off and moving on
    In search of new love or perhaps immortality
    I shall never know
    But anyway I hope you're feeling good
    Just know that I tried my best
    In every way that I could
    To save what we had but I guess I failed
    Perhaps it's for the best
    But answer one question if you would:

    Is there life in that life that you traded me for
    Or was it all just an illusion
    Are you happy or trapped in the vortex of a strong delusion
    Is everything better than it was before
    I sure hope it is

    You always thirsted for the secret doctrines
    Everything's outs and ins always captivated you
    Even as you struggled with your inner jinns
    Adventures of body and soul were always a part of you
    I guess in the end I just became boring
    Oblivious to the tunnel you were boring
    From which you escaped right from under me
    And by the way how's life on the outside
    I'm sure you have stories to tell
    And I'm sure you've raised a lot of hell
    Now if I could trouble you with just one thought:

    Is there life in that life that you traded me for
    Or was it just an illusion
    Are you happy or trapped in the vortex of a strong delusion
    I hope that all is well with you
    And that your thirst was quenched by the well of wisdom

    I heard he taught you the secrets of the universe
    The meaning of life and the whole sh-bang
    And the anthology of sacred songs that you sang
    I heard he infused you with his magic
    Which I confess is rather tragic
    They tell me you all dance exotic dances
    And that naked in the forest each of you prances
    I don't think you ever did so with me
    But then again I'm not privy to that secret wisdom of yours
    Now if I could raise just one inquiry:

    Is there life in that life that you traded me for
    Or was it all just an illusion
    Are you happy or trapped in the vortex of a strong delusion
    I hope you now know what you wanted to know
    I trust you've found your peace
    But I shall never know

    The former object of your affections

  • israelmgonzalez 2w

    Sad Melodies

    Like water dripping from my fingers
    Sad melodies trickle slowly from my piano
    Because in my mind your memory lingers
    I barely knew your name but what did it matter
    Because in my mind you were the one
    What I wouldn't have given to get to the heart of your matter
    Merely the sight of you made me feel as if the lottery I had won
    But through my silence only a fantastic illusion remains
    And sad melodies trickle from my piano signing my pains

    Like a beast of burden with its heavy load
    Sad melodies march slowly on their sonic road
    Because others consumed your attention
    Maybe because I never made clear my intention
    Paralyzed by that latent sense of inadequacy
    How were you to know if I said nothing?
    Is there no limit to this inadequacy?
    Could I not have said something, anything?
    No, my tongue was bullied into silence by the mind
    And these sad melodies from my piano respond in kind

    Like a candle on the verge of expiry from the heat
    Sad melodies pound their gloriously depressing beat
    Because without knowing you broke the pride of my power
    The day you went up in smoke yes, I remember the hour
    Assign the blame to me for keeping silent
    But it's just that my mind won't let me break free
    My tongue tied in its invisible Gordian knot keeps me silent
    And so my fortunes remain bleak as far as I can see
    There's a pain of losing you that in my eyes you can read
    And so sad melodies play of the most loathsome breed

  • lucent_muse 2w

    Sometimes what we really need is silence to appreciate what we don't know we have.

  • fgashash 3w

    Stand upon the truth beknownst to your heart. For it is in truth that your existence is valid.


  • sigwrites 4w

    Pandemic? Coronavirus? Influenza? COPD? No it's just antibiotic- resistant staphylococcus. Here's my post-op reflections

    #pandemic #coronavirus #influenza #copd #stapgylococcus #sinusitis #autoimmune #disease #chronicillness #postoperative #surgery #reflections #icanbreathe #nowisee #life #thoughts #diary

    Read More


    I can breathe ...
    For the first time in ten seasons my heavy, compromised lungs receive the burst of oxygen they've craved for so long. Surgical keys have unlocked the shackles of shallow breath at last ...

    And I can breathe ...
    But not my nose, not yet. It's caked shut with itchy think dressings, stitches and blood clots. It will clear in time but the sensation to sneeze is overwhelming. The first one is a God damned massacre ... so much blood, like a red iron river after monsoonal rains.

    But I can breathe ...
    The residual sticky yellow mucus in my lungs which suffocated me for months gradually pries itself from its bronchial prison. My sentence reduced to a coughing maze that will take time to navigate, as the feeling of being shot through my chest with an archer's arrow slowly, but surely, begins to subside.

    And I can breathe ...
    It's the absence of pain that I find most comforting. It's strange, unfamiliar, like some awkward rendezvous with an old and distant ally. Still I can't help but hesitate in disbelief, wondering which side is this double agent is really on.

    But I can breathe ...
    My rough cobblestone throat begins to smooth and a painful clarity returns to my obscured vision. It's the ultimate makeover show that's cleared a hoarder's house of a decade of useless junk and thick fog. My eyes water and sting, pierced by the kaleidoscope of colors. In time my voice, too, should return.

    And I can breathe ...
    Regularly 'popping' the pressure of my gurgling ears like some never ending airplane ride to hell is a habit I'll need to soon retrain. That destinationless flight I'm no longer on now I have my own wings ... and I'm in control.

    So I can breathe ...
    With an intoxicating euphoria, and despite a sleepless night a boundless energy returns. This renewed zest for life is the only infection I want to keep. My second chance ... and I'll not let go this time.

    Because I can breathe ...
    Effortless ... is this what normal feels like? Years of pent up stress dissipates from my body even though the question still hangs in the air: will this disease finally be rid of? Time will tell, but in the meantime I feel freed ... and I can breathe.


  • israelmgonzalez 4w

    The Road of Broken Dreams

    The sun pours out its wrath on a baking asphalt road
    Trodden by a forlorn lonely worker
    Trudging along his road of broken dreams
    Accompanied only by his load
    And the clouds do drink up all his angry screams
    As his feet pound on the road of broken dreams

    Not long ago he was a child
    Holding tight the red dress of his mother
    But short days ago she fed him to the wild
    Expended for the loving of some other
    Recalling this an angry loner steams
    Heating up the road of broken dreams

    He met a woman promising the heavens
    As he waded through the lush and virgin forest
    He thought he'd rest his head upon her breast
    But all she gave was traumas dealt in sevens
    And he saw the gift of loving was for others
    As he stumbled on the road of broken dreams

    He got in good with a pack of friends
    Who spent nights foraging for treasure
    But one night he just couldn't take the pressure
    And so he learned how every racket ends
    And peering from the window of his cell
    He eyes his winding road of broken dreams

    After he got out he heard about a place
    Desperate for another beast of burden
    And so another rat entered the race
    Taking his position at the start
    He takes off burdened by his heavy burden
    Racing on the road of broken dreams

    A rare moment of long awaited leisure
    He opens up an old book just for pleasure
    Of heroes who were heroes long ago
    What made them so he really doesn't know
    But he knows for certain just one thing
    They aren't on the road of broken dreams

    At noon the sun pours out its honey
    Sweetening the sweetness down below
    Til it's all left tasting rather funny
    He downs it all cuz he needs the money
    And he wonders when he'll ever take it slow
    He's tired of the road of broken dreams

    A certain sadness permeates his air
    From living his life living all alone
    From sleights on every street of cobblestone
    Of dealers who were dealers in despair
    And a bang rings out loudly in the air
    He's exited the road of broken dreams

  • israelmgonzalez 4w

    Losing It

    Dropped the cup of coffee spilling it all
    The trembling hand that held it gave way
    Why do I get the feeling that Olympus will fall
    And what is this manner in which my heart does beat
    And why do I feel a frightening chill in my feet
    All these people can they just go away
    Anymore anxiety and I'll surely lose it all

    Every day's commute feels like a visit to the executioner
    I will myself up in the morning wishing I hadn't
    Every email inches me closer to breaking
    Oh how I recall those days in which I was raking
    And then how I wish I hadn't
    I don't want to remember how far I have fallen
    Or how close I am to taking my place among the fallen

    I don't want it to be the end
    But I feel I can go no further
    I type up my plea for help but never hit send
    And all can do is mumble "I'm fine"
    Unable to take it any further
    Because all I see before me is a dead-end street
    It takes so much out of me even to it

    Laughter bothers and repulses me
    I don't understand why the world is laughing at me
    What they have going for them that I don't
    My eyes beg for help knowing most won't
    They can't - they don't understand
    They haven't bathed in the darkness
    This whole thing is alien to them

    And so the suffering continues in silence
    Nobody notices or cares to notice
    The hero often fails to suppress the violence
    The violence existing in the warring mind
    He is battle fatigued and asked to soldier on
    He will either fall or learn he has won
    But at what cost does he fight his war

    Life is not life when you're merely existing
    Hurtling through this world like rocks through space
    None enter the world to be rats running a race
    Life was not meant to be inhibiting
    It was not meant to be spent in fear of Monday
    Or the urgent emails on Saturday night
    It was meant to be lived

    So the only way out is to live
    Live free and live what you love
    If the world disapproves oh well
    They don't know the heavy price paid to be 'normal'
    A life reduced to a routine is not so swell
    So my only shot at happiness is to do what I love
    And doing this I shall surely live


  • israelmgonzalez 4w

    Rat Racing

    The rats do run in an endless loop
    It's spin and spin for you and me
    Run and run for she and he
    Rats racing by group by group

    They hustle and bustle hoping for freedom
    An illusory life forty years in the making
    But all that exists is their hermit kingdom
    A far flung corner in an office of cubicles
    Monday comes so fast and Friday comes so slow
    And you spend your days feeling low
    All that study and all that work
    Did you really do it all for a routine?

    You look left and right and there's no way out
    So you get all mad and pout
    Hope's a word you find offensive
    That's cuz life's got you on the defensive
    You'd love nothing more than to do what you love
    But bills gotta be paid and you ain't got nothing saved
    So misery fits you like a glove
    Instead of being able to sleep you've ranted and raved

    The world's falling apart for you
    You've realized you're rat racing
    And you can't see a way out
    Leaving you wishing for the end to come
    You just hate your life that much
    Cuz you're going in circles you don't see an off-ramp

    Every email in your inbox is an act of terror
    Every second the noose gets tighter
    And no matter what the load feels no lighter
    Shivering in terror you make the fatal error
    You take whatever feels good to numb the pain
    Whatever will make the sun come out
    In this mad world of eternal rain
    You tune right in and you drop right out

    You miserable devil you
    You thought you would live the dream
    But here in the nightmare are you
    Rats racing to and fro as you hopelessly scream

    And then it's over
    Either the trap door finally opened
    Or you expired from racing
    What is this pain you're facing
    The aches and pains from years of racing
    Rat racing to Armageddon

  • israelmgonzalez 5w

    What is Love

    A coming together of two souls
    Who see nothing but each other
    And give each other everything
    Though they may have nothing
    Answer? What is love

    Two fires burning through the rain
    Two hands held firmly no matter the pain
    Sleepless nights wondering where the other must be
    Though neither considers betrayal to any degree
    Answer? What is love

    Two vessels sailing a sea of their own
    To a port from which only they hail
    And through the roughest seas they continue to sail
    Without care if the families disown
    Answer? What is love

    A mystery religion followed by two
    Where neither would ever break faith
    Clinging together in the morning dew
    The primary article of their faith
    Answer? What is love

    Deathly agony should the other suffer
    Two lives worth living only in concert
    Each with their array of enchantments
    Spells which only work on each other
    Answer? What is love