THE BEST I HAD IN A FRIEND
It has been a long journey since, my Love. From the warm days of "Pakdam-pakdai" in the field's gallery during the summers, as I have it in me, I, for the first realized your presence in my life.
Carrying no idea of you being a person I'd be admiring the most during the sweaty plays, relaxing besides with a slight dose of your shitty talks was probably the first time I embraced your cuteness with the tilt of a basic understanding. From then we had have started having conversation excluding vocals; which were mere eye contacts by chance, often popping up the bluntest, yet the cutest smiles on both the faces... little did I knew that face would once be the one I'd always want to have in my "Life_diaries".
From there we boarded the Friendlies blowing in our hearts, from strangers to someone we knew by name... yes... only by name!
As eyes crossed and words began to come out, the journey of ours was caught up by the friendlies it seemed.... little time did it take me to register you in myself.... with a sprinkle of thoughts still popping up to remind me, maybe you never did. Yes dear, I dedicated myself to your enthusiasm, the way you carried me, the way you let me in, your guidance, love, the way you made me feel that "Yes, maybe I'm not that worse than people have carved me for."
Here was the punch I got through nothing, explaining me, maybe I won't love her as I would to a girl I'd want to have for more than just a friend, but why not...?! Yes, I accepted you as the best part of me, loving you, for more than once, as I would Love my Darling. Guess It meant the point where I carved myself in your name... "Maybe I can have her for more than a Friend.... but not as the one I love though." and Yes I did it... loving your for many times more than anything else and you respecting it seemed to have the best of anything I had ever achieved.
Oh you dear, I gave you more than what I had of myself in you, to have you... and what for?.." "Nothing" as you showed it to be!
He entered in like a small spark.... burning all of me in you and even myself, disobeying all the laws I followed, Tearing apart my world, having my eyes flushed with tears which still bleed... I was still happy until you chose him for me.
What not did I offer you... more than what I had of me, yet you decided to have him who would never understand you as I do, who'd never be a part of you without being him. I lost myself in you for the millionth of time... just to have you besides me, to have you to hug me for nothing, to have you to love me for no reason you could have, to have you to scold me whenever it takes you in, just to see you happy... I'm ready to have any sphincter in me.
Yes I can't scold you... it's not easy for me to make someone bleed into tears whom I had promised to never let go, yet I tried to tell you of my loss, with a smile always being there to ruin all of what I wanted to express, just because your face gave me everything to have the twelve of them work.
Yes I claim it, you replaced me for shit and yet you desire to have him who probably couldn't offer you more than half of what I do, and yet you can't have me over him still nails my heart and makes me cry for everything yet nothing, for my life yet preferably death and all of the stupidity I laid on to make you have everything, but never did I knew... you were the beautiful Nightingale who had your dreams nourished by me, just to have mine thrown off the nest when yours were fed.
Forever yours... yet,
ONCE UPON A TIME BESTIE. ❤️