#bianchi

1 posts
  • menase 21w

    Life in mirrors

    Remember how as a kid your back to school assignment would be "write an essay on how I spent my last holiday"?
    The teacher would hand out empty sheets of paper and I would watch my mates go to work
    Flipping sheets and writing about the interesting feats from their holiday
    And me........ I would just sit there staring back at this blank sheet of paper that's supposed to be an essay
    Because the truth is ........there was never any holiday
    I came from a family where our shelter was wood
    Breast milk till the age of two, because that was the only source of baby food
    So even if there was a holiday we couldn't celebrate
    That's when I stared lying to myself
    Lying to get good grades
    Lying to impress people
    Lying to relieve my aching burden,
    told my heart you were as good as the others
    Because I so desperately wanted change
    But change wasn't forthcoming
    And destiny was within reach
    But the mind is a powerful place you know, feed it a bunch of lies and the rest is history
    So I put up all these mirror images of a perfect life to prevent people from seeing what I really am , because I was insecurity driven
    I watched everything I'd ever wanted fade away, and I'd say to myself everything I'd ever needed was in here
    So I put up more mirages
    But your conscience wouldn't just shut up would it?
    Deep down I was so lonely that my very own shadow wouldn't walk with me
    I'd stumble and hurt myself in the dark but I kept telling myself "I'm fine"
    No! No! You're not fine , you have multiple internal injuries, broken into a thousand pieces, probably died a billion times but people don't seem to notice
    Distraught from your past your heart feels like a broken promise
    You've been trampled upon because people don't even see you
    You're life is a dirty mess, but not even the flies will follow you around
    Think about this, you put up more audio living because you are an insecure wanna be with a messed up life to hide right?
    Doesn't that tell you that people with picture perfect lives and zero problems also have something to hide
    How much better has impressing people made your life
    Think about that before you black out yourself with your sorry excuse for a life
    ©menase