#bpd

578 posts
  • samanthaharper 6w

    Contradictory

    I'm a contradictory, an enigma. I'm both sides of a coin and all the emotions wrapped into one. I'm hard to understand yet easy to understand. I'm overly emotional yet emotionless all at once. I can smile while I'm crying and laugh while I'm angry I'm expressive but don't express myself enough. I bottle everything inside till it erupts. I'm loving but cold as ice a thunderstorm and a sunny day all in one. I get overwhelmed around people but hate being alone. I'm indecisive and decisive all in one. I like talking but get quiet when I'm spoke too. I shut down when things are too much and push others away though I cry out for someone to stay. I'm a lost soul struggling to find her way. And even though I'm told that I'm so strong I'll put on my mask and smile through the pain because even to myself I'm a contradictory.
    ©samanthaharper

  • taytay_nicole424 8w

    2Am Thoughts

    I could feel myself drowning again Back in that dark deep abyss where my worst of demons await luring me into the poisonous waters like sirens
    Drowning so far down that the light is now a distant dream that I try to forcefully will into reality
    So far down that my smile is more of an actor's award-winning grin nothing more than for show
    So far down and so far gone more lost than a burmeda triangle victim just screaming and begging to be found
    To be found and brushed off and held and treasured like a delicate pearl on the edge of shattering into a trillion pieces all over the ocean's floor
    To be stored somewhere safe inside an impenetrable glass case where my vicious enemies can't reach me, can't touch me, can't hurt me, can't drown me anymore

    I could feel myself drowning again
    forever gone
    ©taytay_nicole424

  • mevk333 11w

    12/15/2020 (bpd)

    I hate going from feeling alive and joyful about everything life has to offer
    To feeling absolutely nothing at all, even for people I really like being around
    Suddenly looking at them makes my stomach turn
    Often times because of something they don't even know they did
    And if I tried to explain why I'm upset it would sound insane
    So I don't
    One person at a time, they get left on read. Curt responses. No emotion. No more "I love you"s. Nothing at all
    It's safer than being vulnerable with my emotions

  • mevk333 11w

    12/14/2020 (bpd)

    I wish I wasn't so sick in the head that the thought of not being the most important person in your life makes me want to bleed myself out
    It's so selfish and disgusting, but I have to be number one
    Maybe it's because I put everyone else before myself
    And the kind of love I give is the kind that people don't even ask for
    Or even want
    It's the kind of love that takes pieces of myself and gives them to others
    Filling everyone's cup but my own
    I wish that I could stop thinking that everyone will leave me
    And soon
    And that I'm not worthy of anything good in this world
    Because why would I be?
    I can't even take care of myself
    I let my thoughts rot me from the inside out until I look in the mirror and see a faceless, nameless thing
    Questioning if I even exist or not
    Until I have to write down my ugly thoughts just to stop from screaming them like I'm 13 years old again
    Everything on the inside hurts and I wish I could stop being so goddamn angry

  • mevk333 11w

    12/14/2020 (bpd)

    I'm sick of the self sabotage
    When my brain feels that I've had it too good for too long
    So it pours bleach and ash into every thought, choking me from the inside so that every action I take feels poisoned and worthless
    Now I question the point in living when just two weeks ago I was on top of the world
    And every glance, every word someone says to me warrants their death because I get so worked up just from being interacted with
    Once the conversation is over I just want to cry
    I don't want to hurt people, I don't want to kill myself
    At least until the next trigger for a mood swing happens

  • rimshaxrif 12w

    BPD

    I'm spiralling into this feeling again
    Through the highs I'm crashing to the lows
    It feels scary, yet calm
    Like a roller coaster, as the wind blows
    My heart starts pounding
    Hands start shivering
    My head gets heavy
    I feel like I'm floating
    I look back at you
    The moments of warmth and wrath
    The black and white of you
    The grey never existed, for me
    I try to reach out for the last time
    But the fear of black
    Had me let you go
    Now all i know is blue
    And I'll keep flying till I'll fall again
    This feeling will be gone, i know
    But it keeps coming back again
    I wish i could tell you

    ©rimshaxrif

  • rimshaxrif 12w

    Blues

    I can feel my heart drumming in my ears
    I bite down my own teeth out of fear
    I feel so blue that i can't move an inch
    But that impulse so strong makes me flinch
    Oh i see, you left halfway, were you listening?
    Said you'll stay, didn't. Left me shivering
    Yeah i know i sound insane
    How aren't you scared yet?
    Scream and yell, I feel so speechless
    Delusional yet so helpless
    I wanna breakdown these walls
    So you're still praying for my fall?
    Fears and lies, they surround me
    I wish you would find me
    I keep drowning, you see me crying?
    Oh right, you aren't even trying.

    ©pensive_

  • yayinology 16w

    Because at the conscious level they want to be loved and never be abandoned again but on an unconscious level they believe to be worthless and undeserving of love and that there is a good reason their caretakers "abandoned" them.

    So they (again unconsciously, they need years of therapy to realize their sick patterns) try to find "real love": the idealized partner who is the parent they never had/abused them who may "re-parent" them and drag them out of their messy and shitty hell of a life and give them the lot of love they crave and especially a "self" (i.e making them "whole" and giving them an identity they lack).

    But no person is "perfect", so when they realize that the idealized partner is a mere human with strengths and weaknesses (like their likely abusive mother/dad ) they will split him black and start accusing them of being a fraud and having lied to them.

    Also, they can't deal with real adult intimacy because they are children at their core.

    This is the borderline paradox: their fear abandonment because these sad souls experienced it at a very early stage of development but they believe that they had to deal with was "right".

    Result: they will try over and over again to recreate the same traumatic childhood experience of abandonment and rejection that made them mentally ill in the first instance and they will try as hard as they can to sabotage every relationship, especially those who are more valuables to them and that is going better.

    Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/BPDlovedones/comments/js858t/why_people_with_bpd_destruct_every_relationship/gbxnv75?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

    I have BPD. I've read a lot of answers. But this is the only one that explains things clearly and the one I could accept. This is the truth. Dating someone with BPD is difficult. They need help. And it'll probably take years for them to break this toxic loop. I'm not asking you to be there for them. I just wanted people to know the real reason behind it.

    #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

    Read More

    Why people with BPD destruct every relationship?

  • yayinology 17w

    I'm both extremes.
    A serial killer, who'd donate his victim's body parts to the people in need.
    Moderation just doesn't work for me.
    ©yayinology

  • yayinology 18w

    Some days I feel the need to save everything and everyone, thinking it's my turn.
    Other days I just set everything on fire, and watch it burn.
    ©yayinology

  • cemeteryboy 19w

    brain filled with maggots

    Brain fizzing like champagne in a new glass. Hands twitching to the sound of static. My eyes are melting. Your body is a valley of twilight. My fingertips burn your skin as my heart bubbles and oozes. Graveyards look so romantic. My love and lust are twin flames. Can we kiss for eternity? Why am I second place? Why. Why. Why. Why do you not feel as intensely as I? Why do you use no exclamations? Why do you hate me? Do you hate me? Am I evil? I must be a demon sent from hell to torment you. Why. Why. Why. You are all that matters. You are god. You are the IV drip for my veins. You are the mortician for my funeral. You are breaking my bones as I cushion yours. I feel my teeth fall out.
    ©cemeteryboy

  • yayinology 21w

    A boy with sad eyes

    A boy with sad eyes.
    Staring at his ceiling all day long, just thinking about nothing.
    Obsess over everyone who comes along, just to abandon them at the ending.
    Too easy to speak and too kind to be real.
    A boy with sad eyes.
    His love burns as bright as his fears and hate.
    He cries himself to sleep every night blaming all on his fate.
    Too much to put up with and too intense to deal with.
    A boy with sad eyes.
    He's everything and nothing.
    A narcissist who hates himself.
    A combination of both extremes.
    Too weird to live and too rare to die.
    A boy with sad eyes.

    ©fuckeduppoetry_

  • msoffia 27w

    Humans are funny
    The dead envy the living
    While some of the living are envious of the dead

    m.s

  • zainabnajmi 30w

    I've struggled with anxiety for so long. And it's gotten worse after my breakup. If you're going through something similar to this, please feel free to DM me here. We can help each other out by venting at least.


    #anxious #anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #BPD #bipolar #panicattack #anxietyattack #quotes #sadness #pain #hurt #heartbreak #friendship #quoteoftheday #mirakeewriters #writersnetwork #poetry #poem #poetsofmirakee #poetsnetwork #lifequotes #family #broken #life #love #lyrics #mentalillness #help #paranoia #paranoid

    Read More

    Anxiety

    Forehead trickling with beads of sweat;
    Rapid breathing keeping up with the hands of the clock -
    Heart palpitating louder than the deafening silence in the room;
    Eyes fluttering awake from a dream that feels like reality,

    It's a sign of anxiety
    It's a sign of anxiety


    ©zainabnajmi

  • theminimalistwriter 30w

    How heavy are your labels?
    .
    Initially written in regards to BPD and the weight the 'labelled ones' carry throughout their life. Now it's for all of us, often given labels by others who do not have the slightest idea who we are. And yet, if we give in, if we let the label weigh us down, we let it start defining us.

    #poetry #writersofmirakee #poet #bpd #quotes #writersnetwork #spilledink #writtenthought #poetryporn #wordgasm

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    I'm carrying a label
    That neither you nor I can see
    While some manage to ignore it
    The others turn around and flee
    It made it's home inside me
    Buried deep within my skin
    I try to scrape it out of me
    Where does it end
    Where do I begin?
    My skin's on fire
    Strength is all but spent
    I'm told it's here to stay
    Companion until the very end.

    ©theminimalistwriter

  • nessima 31w

    Whenever she's lonely her demon appears. He controls her emotions, her anger, her fears.

    She begs him to leave and free her from pain, but the demon seems hungry and tightens her chain.

    As she falls on her knees and cries in despair she hears a known voice whisper into her ear.

    "Don’t you know who I am? Why I do what I do? We are the same soul. I am part of you.

    I am not your demon, but I need you to see that the pain you feel comes from negleting me.

    I'm the piece of your heart that was hurt for so long, but if you love me again I can heal and grow strong."

    She weeps for the poor, wounded piece of her soul. Puts it back in her heart, and her heart becomes whole.

    ©Ida

  • cemeteryboy 33w

    Everything Everything

    Everything was okay
    Everything was alright
    Everything was great
    Everything was lovely

    Everything turned dim
    Everything turned sour
    Everything turned sad
    Everything turned toxic

    Everything feels off
    Everything feels draining
    Everything feels bland
    Everything feels sad

    Everything is empty
    Everything is too much
    Everything is suffocating
    Everything is painful again.
    ©cemeteryboy

  • intensions_of_hritvik 36w

    Mental health is not about what you say, it's about what you feel.
    #Adhd
    # Schizophrenia
    # Autism
    #Bipolar
    #BPD
    #Histironic

    Read More

    People in trauma need ears to heal, not the jerks to feel!
    Label the diagnosis not the person!
    ©intensions_of_hritvik

  • extinctspecies 36w

    Lately

    Lately I have come to
    Realise,
    I don't deserve happiness
    As the moment there is a
    Ray of happiness
    I make sure to destroy it
    Myself.
    ©extinctspecies

  • restingdepressiveface 48w

    Year 25, Month 04, Day 2
    Open my eyes to a grey world
    There's a cult in my home
    Punishment, no reward
    Washing the dishes
    For approval of a figure
    Like a child stuck in a loop
    Hanging onto golden hope
    That the soap and water will clean my sins

    ©N Masood