Fortis Fortuna Adjuvant- Fortune Favors the Bold, which rings with truth, I suppose... But at what cost? And, what is considered fortune, is wholly objective from person to person. My thought has always been that, to become famous, rich, fortunate in any means we desire, there will always be an exchange in fortunes. We receive, and often endure what we seek however, never without cost. Exchange rates are always equal in opposition. Material desires require monetary means. On the other hand; knowledge, wisdom, empathy, and true spiritual awakening do not come without tragedy, or personal compromise. Do we know anyone whom we consider truly inspiring to be without great loss, or burden? Do these individuals we admire and look upon for inspiration and guidance not, in some way float in their own ethernal pool of purgatory sludge? It would be arrogantly ignorant to assume not, or that any other human being "has it all". So, in ones quest for an unmarred ease in life, we must pause long enough to realize that it is unobtanium. Instead, should we choose to understand the balance of exchange, we can understand the loses, and begin to appreciate the gains.
A concept, who's meaning I'd failed to firmly grasp, as I couldn't UNTIL...
In comes you. Storming through my inflexibly locked gates of loathsome query, a juggernaut riding a hurricane of fire. Disguised as a whimsical chlurichaun, who goes fathoms deeper than most wrongfully assume. An ethereal beacon, the size of a forest fire, an obfuscated reflection of myself in the mirror, I saw YOU. Your Earth-shaking energy screamed at me that you'd be more momentous than a simple passerby.
However, I hadn't yet recognized how fatefully pivotal walking into that basement would be. To all else, a simple curiosity of where he had gone, and as he reappeared, a harrowing buzz... And I sat, oblivious in the early wakes of the mystery I had fallen upon. Nearly instant, your lighthouse blazed life back into my eyes, and breath back into my lungs, as you spoke my language, that so few understand; we speak in phrases, where so few minds go unmanned and, to dark depths, where most imaginations will never place an inviting hand. While you tickled my senses, I quietly began taking down fences.
I had dreamt our words before they'd been spoken. Some may claim this insane, even broken... But it was you, who unbound my voiceless curse. Indeed, my Agent of Fortune.
In no way, merely a happenstance traveler, you swiftly began deterring me from being my own deathly cancer. Unappreciated, inner beauty the likes of yours, so often goes unperceived, as so few are as fortuitus as I, to experience such a wondrous encounter. All facets of Comedy and Tragedy, in one human being.
You drew back the curtains to reveal the windows of possibility. You removed the shroud of emotional numbness, and opened depression's caution-taped doors. Perhaps, even taught some lessons in self-worth and humility.
Beings, such as yourself, always seem to manifest for us whom require the help. At times, so starkly opportune with guns drawn, blades wielded, unafraid to use painstaking measures to disembowel our darkest secrets and fears. Mental weapons, holstered and fully loaded.
For those of us living fractured lives, having to fabricate fractured lies to hide behind, that aid in the masking from ourselves, the truth about our own self-inflicted demise. We willfully stave off healing because healing requires feeling. Healing, in it's all but glorious reality, is a gradually increasing invisible spectrum of numbness. Always lingering, the pain. Never vanishing completely. However, we cannot even begin to allow our pain to break away, without ever acknowledging it's existence. For few of us, a driving force... An energy that is unmatched in talent and might, to help replenish all that we've lost. To help guide us through losses great costs.
IF we are FORTUNATE enough to encounter another's understanding, self-sacrificing, and teaching energy in this manner, we musn't bury our heads in the sand, to neglect such a marvelously confounding, helping hand. We've already paid the piper, so do not make the mistake of letting them slip idly by. Even if it seems they will not be a lengthy mainstay, or permanent fixture, we must recognize, acknowledge and APPRECIATE such a pillar of strength when it decides to instinctively place itself on our dimly lit, off-beaten paths.