Go away thoughts of you.
Okay now i am tired of thinking of you
because i know you still dont think of me too.
It literally is too much all this torture and pain, i question whether i'm actually insane.
Two years is a long time yet you are still always on my mind, if you ever near to have thoughts about me your brain says access declined.
I know this because if you cared about me, you'd have been in touch you see?
But no not even one little message to ask if i'm doing okay, i thought you cared about me? why leave me alone in grey.
My life has been so dark since you decided you no longer wanted to be by my side, for fuck sake i said i couldnt live without you, not that i was gonna commit suicide.
You know, a sweet phrase you tell someone you love, it was supposed to make you feel special and lift your heart up above.
But no you thought my life was on your conscience if we stayed together, so what was the logic in ending things between us? i dont think ide have any thoughts of harming myself if we coulda last forever.
You made me so happy and i thought i made you feel the same way too, how is it fair for me to be living like this? thinking about you through & through.
Its as though the universe is forcing me not to move on, like i cant stop caring even though you're gone.
If it is true that you dont think about you and me, then i wish these thoughts would be erased from my head, i wish you could just let me be.
Its crazy to still be thinking about you after all this time i know that myself, I should be focusing on my future but instead i worry about your mental health.
But WHY!? why should i care when you left my heart in sorrow, thanks to you i have to fight through everyday for there to be another tomorrow.
I really hope that one day you'll reach out, apologise and ask how my life has been and then maybe i can start to heal & see that the grass is still green.