Peace - The third
God another year passed,
And I failed again.
I failed in search of happiness,
In search of meaning,
In losing my depression.
Days like this bring people smiles,
The day breaks with me looking into
My mirror, some days into tear clad eyes,
Some days with bright smiles
I wonder in pain why I ever woke up.
Lies I tell people to leave me be,
I'm never okay actually...
You and I only,
Know the lonely hole in my heart;
When I come to sleep,
I've ceased to hope God,
Life for me is a daily basis,
There is no strength to project a future,
Not even the strength to hate no more.
I'm plain tired.
So tell me God, its just me and you...
Is there dignity in death,
Or in the manners of dying?
I don't care, let what comes come.
The only spark of hope in my soul,
Is that I have achieved a personal best,
I'm alive, for how much longer
I don't know...
I pray not to the God of the heavens,
But the one that lives in me.
It is my birthday, I have no picture,
Just this heart that beats within me,
And a raging desire to stop it...
Next year maybe...