dragonfly99@sprinklet Nahi abhi baki hai I am watching Justice league Movie Jab tea banao to ek cup mujhe bhi dena
dragonfly99@sprinklet Haan Jarur Virtual tea bhi agar Dil de di jaye to real tea se jyada perfect hoti hai chalo Himali tum tea banao Mein bhi ek book nahi mil rahi usko search karun I will catch you later Take care
Nightmares have started haunting me I am finding myself always lonely Imprisoned in the cage of my own thoughts This darkness is all I have left with
I am no more shinning I am no more smiling Every second of my breathe Seems to be fake I am trembling now Coz' all my dreams have shattered This darkness has completely Turned me into an aimless person My existence has become questionable Life is seeming so unstable
Are you willing to help me Will you save me from my own pessimism Will you help me come out of my darkness Coz' only you have that power to Save this descending life of mine
I don't have much time left I can't hide my demons anymore It seems like they are overpowering Over the innocent me Will you save me from turning into an evil Will you save me from killing That sincere person Who once used to have big dreams Who once used to smile inspite of miseries
You are my last hope In this darkness You are the only firefly Which is sparkling bright You are the only spring That can blossom the Flower of optimism In withered tree of my heart You are the only door That can let me out From my own darkness Save me! Will you?
Dark past, bloodied memories Broken heart and forgotten glories Mind full of thoughts Regretting over undone stuff Related to that crumbling relationship Which was standing on a thin thread of trust
Trust got broken Love shattered in few minutes Heart started sinking down Again in those beautiful memories of The time spent with each other Nights spent under the starry sky In each other's lap Smiling face of that beautiful person Aroused in front of eyes Who once said "WE ARE PERMANENT"
Tears started rolling down from those cheeks Which were once kissed and poked By that person Who made a promise not to bring Even a shed of tear in those Mesmerizing oceanic eyes In which one can easily drown And forget their way out.
Cruel are those memories Which makes a person weak And steals their smiles and peace Cruel are those who Break the heart of an innocent Cruel are those who Break promises And left a person broken Alone, terrified and hurt!
All those days and nights When you were mine Your smile was for me All those laughs and cuddles When your time was mine And that feeling of love was combine How am I supposed to forget All of your lies?
When your whole purpose was To broke my heart Then why did you give me A ray of hope That a person like me can also be Loved by someone so perfect like you Why did you say that I am your sunshine And left me alone in this darkness
Was it fun to destroy me Was it fun to watch me crying Was it fun to broke my heart in little pieces
Look, my love! Even though you turned me into a clown In front of this world Even though you make a joke of my existence Even though you said I mean nothing to you
I kept tripping over everything you say and do I know I am just a bloody fool But how can I deny my love for you People always say never to get too much attached to someone But my love! Tell me how could I Ignore your smile which melted my heart How could I Ignore those sparky eyes which makes my days bright
I still want you in my life I want you to be with me Coz' my love! You still mean everything to me You are my world I want you sitting beside me, holding my hands, smiling with me Even if it's all fake Even if it's just for a show
That's the depth of my love for you So can you please also accept me too?
I push away the people that I love the most Coz' I know they will break My heart when they will find out That I am 'lost' They will mock at me When they will find That I am too vulnerable This will destroy me Coz' I am so emotional
I cry in the dark So that no one can see me in tears I repeat this until my mind clears From the negative thoughts From the lost hope I still struggle to find Even a little bit of scope
I will remain strong Even if it's just for show I will still thrive Even if no one know My hardships My insecurities I will bury all my curiosities
I know this will make me all alone But the feelings of care and love From my heart are long gone As long as I am alive I will kill all those emotional vibes That will try to strangle my heart In beautiful lies of love Coz' I can't be able to survive With another piece of broken heart
My heart is beyond repair I am trying to Come out of my state of despair And I made a pact with pride Not to get any help So I will struggle With my whole to dwell In this life where I am a prisoner of my own thoughts!!!
I was struggling with my issues in that empty room Abandoned by world Fallen into the great pit of grief Sadness was taking over me I was crying loudly, asking for help Trying to break the cells Of my dark thoughts But nothing was working No one was coming.
Then one day You came into my life While I was a mess Struggling constantly to live Your sweet voice and tender touch Soothed all my agony I was bloomed again Into a flower
With you I forgot all my hardships All my life time griefs I was jubilant again Your precious smile Your beautiful eyes Were healing me gradually I was falling for you consistently
But how can a cursed person like me, be happy Everything that I loved Always got snatched away from me
And now it was your turn I prayed I cried before Almighty Not to seperate us Not to make us apart Nothing worked out
To my great fear HE snatched away you HE left me all alone again HE broke me once again
Now I am still more like numb Everything is still around me I am just waiting Waiting for death To take me away from this horrific life Thinking about why am I still alive? Why a cursed person like me Is still breathing on this earth? Why am I not taking my life?
flame_Awww....its too heart rending post Your lonely thoughts are worrysome....don't loose heart dearie...u are a beautiful and wonderful soul...time will heal and things will be fixed....just smile...read my post muskuraht..just smile...alwys......a big smile for ur loved ones.....may god bless you..dear....
Dark red blood Dripping slowly from her arm Eyes filled with tears And her body was shivering in fear
She did it again today Even though she promised to herself That she would stop cutting But the darkness swept over her mind Again leaving her broken The sadness covered her completely Her arms felt like aching badly
So she searched for the blade And decided to cut away all her pain With three new deep cuts It gave a soothing vibe to her mind Even though it was hurting like hell
She started humming a self made Poetic lines with her rusty voice While sadness took over her and Tears started falling endlessly
"Oh mom! Oh dad! Sorry for being so bad I am sorry for hurting your feelings I am sorry for shattering your dreams I am truly sorry for being a dumbhead For never taking care of my future ahead I am just worthless For your love, for your care I am just tired of living This life is just hurting And this pain is never ending I wanna take my life Yet I am afraid to die I don't wanna make you cry Over this worthless body of mine So I am struggling to live So I am faking my smile So I am trying to look content Even though I am really tired Of always faking my feelings But I will do this for you Dear Mom, Dear Dad! I will fake every moment of my life To see a smile on your face!" In the end of the day All she can think is "Why is my life so ABSURD?"
And she went to sleep To wake up again To fight with her demons To fight from this world!
She is strongest than anyone Because she is still struggling Even though it is hurting her Cracking her body, piercing her soul Yet she hasn't given up. She is living and she will live Eventually, her struggle will win She will win She will snatch away her life From the dirty and vicious claws Of depression and suicidal thoughts. SHE WILL SURVIVE!!!
I am on the edge of roof Standing with bare feet Taking a deep view of the city And road down to me
Should I jump to Fall badly on the ground So that my body will be Broken, twisted and smeared in Dark red blood?
What are you gonna do Will my shattered dreams come true Will you come to save me Or will you just let me be To vanish from this world Do you also think that My existence is absurd?
Will you leave me alone because I am suicidal Or will you hold onto me sincerely And never leave me lonely Until my condition becomes ideal
Will you help me out from My suicidal state Or will you just ignore Me and escape
I already know the answer No one wanna hold onto an unstable future No one wants to sacrifice their happiness just in order to save an unpredictable person
I am just tired now Wanna sleep until Everything turns out right I am too vulnerable Wanna fade away Until I found the lost me
Yes, I am suicidal Yet I am living Not because I have a family to take care of But because I am too afraid to die I am afraid to get my last physical pain I am afraid what if I will be in hell What if the other world will turn Out to be more painful than this What if I will be alone there too!
The things which used to hurt me a lot Now matters nothing to me The words which broke me once Now have become my familiar Their laughs that taunted me gravely Now have become part of my life
Why am I feeling nothing? Why I am satisfied yet empty? Why I feel lonely with everyone?
Has the pain changed me Into a numb person Without any sympathy and emotions?
I laugh with others I smile with others I try to be nice to others But all this seems fake!!
Am I faking my behavior? Am I afraid of them Leaving me in solitude?
But what's the point of fearing from being alone? When I don't enjoy their company! Will I ever be happy by faking my behavior? I am not what I try to be among others! Then why do I have to care about them? When I know that it's not what I want !
I am perplexed, Utterly in pain Because of my own fears! What should I do? How should I be myself When I know being myself will Turn me into a 'loner'.
But the thing is they have abandoned me when I followed their path I agreed to all their commands I trusted them with my heart They left me When I was a mess!
So why... why do I still fear Why I have no courage to be myself Why I don't want to hurt them When they destroyed me into pieces Why I care too much
I am CONFUSED I have become insane, I don't know now What I want to gain !!!
flame_Oh!!heartfeltreally showed ur emotions efficiently....expression...but everything will be alryt where u will feel only ecstasy wen u will fully know u and there will be not confusion at all..keep writing dear...u penned marvellous
When the whole world is wishing 'Happy Father's Day', I am silent papa.
When everyone is happily posting Their father's picture on social sites, I am peeking at your picture secretly papa.
When everyone around me is calling Their father"Best Father Of The World", I am still finding my words to wish you papa.
When everyone are near their father, I am staring at our distance papa.
When the whole world is laughing with their father I am trying to let a cheerful cry papa
When everyone is stating importance of father in life I am trying to figure out the void between us papa
Why am I all alone even around you papa Why aren't we on good terms papa Why are you unaware of my existence papa Why am I unwanted papa Am I truly that unworthy Is my existence unacceptable for you Am I nothing to you?
These questions are sulking in my head papa Yet I will never ask Because I know you will be stunned Maybe disgusted by my questions papa
Hope one day I will also say Without any hesitation "Happy Father's Day" DEAR PAPA!!!
Living a peaceful life seems hard I am writting it today On my 'death card' There is left no hope, Life has left me with less scope.
No gaurdians, no friends, no spouse, I am all alone in my empty house Where to go Where to stay What will they think What will they say? All this goes in mind of mine Not only during day But also at night in sleep time!
I even tried to save myself Laughed and cheered when I was feeling like hell. But nothing in particular change I became more despondent I became more strange.
I am depressed I am all alone All lovely feelings of hope Have long gone.
But what is encouraging me to thrive, What is the reason that I am still alive?
Is it a flickering hope to live a jubilant life, Or is it just a horror of what would happen when i wouldn't be alive?
I don't know the reply Maybe I still wanna live Still wanna laugh and still wanna cry!!!
Do you know how it feels to be lonely, Do you know how it feels to be betrayed by your loved ones, Do you know how it feels when everyone is ignoring you?
And you are left all alone!
I will tell you how it feels... Because i have been in this situation Struggling for my exsistance Competing with others so that They can notice me, My grief, my loneliness...
It feels hella empty It gives too much pains You can't remain happy You sleep with teary eyes And no one stands by your side No one tells you to 'remain calm' Or 'Don't be afraid, everthing is gonna be okay'
No one cares for you or your wishes You become just a toy for others Your exsistance is completely denied
Your life fills with terror Terror of dying Without even getting noticed Terror of falling Without even standing up Terror of getting beaten Without even Protecting yourself
You start self-loathing Degrading yourself and feeling worthless... All the negativity and susidal thoughts Capture your mind And your soul starts tearing apart...
This all happens to you When you are anonymous Even while you are doing your best!!!
I was bullied I was abused I got beaten up everyday I cried a lot I thought a lot
'What should i do Should i die Nah! It is not easy'
I had no hope to live But still i want to live and grow What a ridiculous thing to know!!
Then i found out about self-harm It kinda kept me warm From all the pains From all the tears From all the fears.
It was my first time When i hold the blade in my hands I glared at it like it was Rare and precious thing Like it was the only thing in this world That would keep me safe from dying.
I looked at its sharp and shining edges They were kinda screaming at me To sink them deep down on my White skinny flesh!
I hesitated a bit But then all the evil memories Of my past swept over me And tears started streaming down It was too much painful to handle.
So i holded the blade tightly and Cut my skin as deep as it can go It hurted... it hurted a lot.. It hurted as if i was going to die But the blood running from My wriste gave me a unique SATISFACTION!!
Then I washed the blood away And a deep scare showed in my skin At the same time It was so soothing, so warm That i decieded to continue Doing it every day.
And now it has become a habit A habit which can only be changed after death!!!
When I was shining bright Under the sunlight You were beside me Taking care of me Like I was a precious diamond to you.
You were possessive for me Jealous for me and obsessive over me I was the luckiest person to have you I always thought you would never left me alone.
I was clumsy you said you like the 'clumsy me' I smiled and you gave a sweet peck on my cheeks I was happy with you and I assumed you were also having fun with me.
THEN, suddenly..my days changed I stopped shinning My spark was gone And i was left alone...
But I didn't shudder Because I thought you will be always With me no matter what And having you beside me i can get over with my bad time.
I....i was so wrong .... You pulled my hands tightly busted me against the wall. said,"everything is over now. You are useless. You have lost your shine and i don't need you anymore."
I was aghasted I became upset I looked into your eyes It seemed they were smirking towards me and saying me to 'Go away. You are not needed anymore'.
My mind stopped thinking I trippled on my knees, holding your face with my hands and begged you to stay beside me, with teary eyes and stuttering voice. But you jerked my hands off from your face and pushed me to the ground saying," I loved you for your spark and shine.but now you have left with nothing. So I don't love you anymore. Don't try to chase me, you stingy girl."
At this you went away And my heart suddenly stopped beating Everything became hazy... Your love, your smile, your promises Everything turned into denial.
I became unconscious My heart was severely broken I was damaged My soul, my heart, my mind Were saying me to give up on you
But how can i forget you I am perplexed I am still unaware of my surroundings I don't know what is happening to me It seems I am in coma and i need diagnosis But how can i cure when my only medicine is gone?
What should i do now? Should I die then what about our love Will our love FADE after my death But what if it remained with me.. What will i do then Tellllllll... meeeeeee... Please..realse me from this pain Tell me what should i do now?? TELL ME!!!!