253 posts
  • aka_natasha 2w


    Finally, God has opened my eyes. Once again I fell into his trap, acting all amicable when in reality he was manipulating the situation for himself.
    I feel stupid for being so blind.
    It's just I've been conditioned for so long that it's difficult for me to see these things.
    It's normal for me.
    The sad part is he is whining to our kids...Mom did this, Mom chose this.
    I am not kicking him out, he can stay as long as he chooses or until the divorce is final.
    He is whining about how he might not have money etc.
    So not true.
    The courts won't do that and neither will I.
    I am not a monster.
    I am and always have been a compassionate woman who keeps the peace.
    Always pleasing others first.
    Well, now I am finally filled with strength and I have to look out for my son and myself.
    No one else is going to.
    I hope God opens the eyes and ears of my children and they see and hear Dad playing the victim and turning me into a monster.

  • vera_anne_wolf 3w


    I messed up
    Don’t get up
    Please let’s not play it back.
    Where I went
    Who I was
    There’s no need to attack.
    Just a game
    That I lost
    Though you didn’t play fair.
    Is this second
    Young enough to compare?

    I don’t know why, don’t know why,
    Don’t know why
    I keep trying...
    I’m still stumbling, stumbling,
    There’s no denying...
    Like a hurricane, hurricane,
    Of confusion...
    I keep grumbling, grumbling,
    Through each contusion.

    Roll your eyes
    Spin your lies
    I’ll pretend I don’t know.
    It’s too late
    To despise
    How you put on a show.
    Close the book
    Fold my hands
    Bare it all with a smile.
    Say one day
    We’ll be friends
    But we’re both in denial.


  • aka_natasha 3w


    Change is happening fast.
    Everyone wants me to slow this down.
    Ok, if I slow it down it still doesn't change anything.
    My kids are understanding now...its hardest on the older adult ones...go figure.
    I thought it would be harder on the one still at home in high school.
    It's hardest on us...husband and wife.
    My son changed his mind.
    He chose his Dad.
    Yes, it hurts. But, I love my son more than anything and if that's what makes him happy and feel secure, me of all people understand that.
    I've been in that same position.
    I will not abandon or disown my child for their decision like my Mother did to me at the same age for the same choice.
    God will mend our brokenness.
    God will mend my relationships with my children.
    God will guide, protect and love us.

  • _crybaby_ 3w


           How do you draw sadness?     Despair? Hope? Anxiety?    Depression? How can you possibly depict an image that so clearly conveys the remote feeling of uneasiness churning away in your gut.  The sinking feeling every time your heart falls into your stomach like the titanic swallowed up by the sea. The hopelessness and fear eating away at your logic and excuses, like termites to wood, excuses to try and help you feel better. Excuses that try to distract you.   

           Don't even think for a second, that the feeling is gone, because you look around and all you think is this isn’t permanent. The feeling as the ocean of queasiness and anger rise up from your stomach drowning your lungs, filling you up with despair. 

       Join the club kiddo. 

        How do you draw feelings.  You can feel the lack of sleep on your eyes, your eyelids are heavy, as if there were anchors attached, you can feel the circles as dark as your thoughts under your eyes, feel the weight of another restless night take hold.  Your eye sockets are pockets for secrets and tears, anger and fears, people have skeletons in their closets, yours reside in your eyes. “ it’ll be okay “  another lie, but what else can you say. Scratch that, what can you manage TO SAY. 


      You look back to that ol’ reliable sketchbook of yours, and the page is as blank as your idea for your future. 


    You try and function but you can’t, your legs are trembling, like jelly, like a guitar string thats pulled too hard..   You feel dead. You might as well be. But youre not, you're just scared...and confused.   


  • aka_natasha 3w


    God is bigger than generational bondages and any sin.
    God is love, hope, counselor, friend and forgives us of any and all sin. We need to confess with our mouth and heart to Him.
    God can heal all brokenness and fix anything.
    All in God's timing.
    Your will be done on earth as in heaven.
    💔 💔 💔

  • aka_natasha 3w


    Gone wrong...
    Everything was getting better...we were getting through this. Yes its painful and lots of tears but amicable. Until now. I didn't order him out. We were both supposed to be allowed to stay here until I pack up and move out. Now, he doesn't believe me or anything that comes out of my mouth. It was my lawyer's mistake!
    Consequences....I must pay. My sin, my generational bondages, my broken vow to God and my husband.
    My kids don't understand why I want this....I can't anymore. I'm so exhausted and tired of fighting and trying. Doesn't anybody understand?
    💔 😭 💔 😭

  • km_writes 4w

    I keep trying to close the door.
    You moved on so long ago.
    I remember a family of two;
    Plus three,
    Plus four,
    Each time changing who you care for.
    Never obtained my status again,
    Because when you aren’t part of the family, they suspend your campaign.
    I’m knocking.
    Asking again,
    Do you remember?
    Do you remember?


  • naivedrew 4w


    I've done this once. I thought it was IT. Like I had everything I needed, but kids of course. It ended. We failed, but now here I am again. I admit I was wrong but this is the last time. The last time I give it my all with someone. The last time I trust my heart with another. The last time I plan to have a family with someone. The Last time I look someone in the eyes under God and promise them forever. Feeling broken isn't a good feeling and I pray to never feel it again. Loving you comes easy and though we have hard moments, that's just what they are. Moments! The good out weighs the bad always. Never give up on what we have. You're my heaven on Earth.

  • km_writes 5w

    Hiding in halls
    And behind doors
    Since I was five
    Listening to you fight.

    I don’t know where
    To draw the line -
    Or maybe when.

    I hear you whisper
    When I am twenty
    And I am five again:
    Hiding in halls
    And behind doors.

    When your voice raises in pitch -
    I am panicking.
    No where else to go,
    Except in halls
    And behind doors.


  • z_herrington 5w


    I'm sitting here
    Listening to Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups
    Trying not to feel messed up
    Over this messed up
    Situation that we find ourselves in
    All because you want to be in
    Control, your emotions and own thoughts all because we let our relation rot
    And I have to stop and take a step back to not react in a bad way cuz I'm trying to change
    And switch lanes to not go in the direction I once was but all it does is confuse everyone
    They ask why I haven't done
    To you what you're doing to me
    And honestly it'd be easy to do that and look back at the aftermath of said attack but then I'd have to explain to our son that daddy felt petty and wanted mommy to feel how he felt
    But in reality I don't want that because what I want is what's fair
    I don't care
    And I hope they see their
    Actions are axing the respect I have
    So I just laugh through these tears as the next song that comes on is Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
    And yeah yeah yeah, I could be the heartless monster of bad dreams
    And yeah yeah yeah I could be ruthless and take everything away from her
    But then I'd have to look our son in the eye and explain that daddy felt petty.

  • aka_natasha 6w


    I was young, I thought I knew what love was.
    I had it once, but I let it go.
    I learned a lesson from that one. Our love, is different.
    For me, it was a love and marriage of convenience.
    I knew what I was doing, I made a vow to myself back then.
    I tried to be happy all these years.
    I don't regret my choice because if I did I wouldn't have the great children I have.
    Unfortunately, I can't stay any longer. I'm at my wits end.
    I tried to stay longer but I can't make it 2 more years.
    I need out or I will go mad.
    Don't ever think I never loved you, because I do.
    I've just never been in love with you. I care for you deeply and want to remain amicable for our children and each other.
    Thank you for the life you gave me and our children...

  • vera_anne_wolf 8w


    It’s just another dark cloud
    Wrapped up inside my mind
    I try hiding myself away
    But the truths not far behind.
    It’s just another midnight
    Exhausted yet restless
    Counting all my failures
    And betrayals I can’t forget.

    Who am I when daylight comes?
    I thought I found forever
    But the dream has come undone.
    So who am I supposed to be?
    I cry like I’m the victim
    But the Wolf was always me.

    It’s just another heartbreak
    But this time I’m far too numb
    I watch you leave us behind
    And move on with someone.
    It’s just another battlefield
    Of chaos and deceit
    But you’ll never be the victor
    Because this time I won’t retreat.

    Who am I when daylight comes?
    I thought I found forever
    But the dream has come undone.
    So who am I supposed to be?
    I cry like I’m the victim
    But the Wolf was always me.

    It’s just another lesson
    Of the selfishness of man
    You cry just like a coward
    But we both know where you stand.
    While I dug up the key
    To the darker side of me
    Don’t ask me for forgiveness
    When the Wolf has been set free.


  • safikhan_boss 8w

    Threats of Self Esteem

    Self Esteem
    Need To
    On Side
    In Pure
    If we give
    It value
    Threats Arises
    May Achieved
    Children Suffered

  • the_unknown_writer_20 8w


    In order to divorce yourself from unhappiness, always keep the treasures of happiness with you.


  • the_unknown_writer_20 8w


    In order to divorce yourself from unhappiness, always keep the treasures of happiness with you.


  • heremotion 12w


    Can't you hear me
    The loud raging inner cry
    Drips of the bleeding heart
    My Silenced scream ,
    It's wish of explosion?

    How can you not see ,
    The struggle of mine ,
    Like a thin string ,
    The ends tied to you both.
    You two , pulling it either side,
    Slowly is breaking me.

    Can you not understand?
    All i ask for is love ,
    Not from you or you ,
    But together as parents,
    Not alone the shoulders to cry ,
    Not the comforting lap ,
    But both.

    Separating is your choice ,
    So was the decision,
    To bring me to this World.
    Why not give a last try for me?
    Let me try being the umbilical cord ,
    Between you two.

    Do not part , i need you together ,
    Listen to me ,
    Can't you hear me?

  • x_lost_illusion_x 14w

    Broken Love

    Life was so young and beautiful
    As far as I could see
    My family no less than perfect
    My siblings, parents and me
    But the perfect was quickly broken
    And the arguments grew heated
    Insults flew from mom to dad
    And the happiness quickly depleated
    At the young age of five I some how learned
    That you can easily fall out of love
    I prayed that they would care for eachother
    To someone up above
    My prayers were never answered
    For their love remained broken
    My family, once perfect now shattered
    Left my innocent heart wide open
    Through the years I quickly matured
    From the court meetings oh so stressing
    The emotions went from bad to worse
    From sad to flat out depressing
    All of that was 10 years ago
    And my family is even more broken
    There are still many fights between dad and me
    Leaving not many words unspoken

  • mitchellp 14w


    Enough I've had enough 
    Righteous anger mixed with love
    So much time, it was too much 
    And you still left me in your dust

    You split town to chase a clown,
    And you're the punchline don't you see?
    He fooled you once, he'll fool you twice
    But I won't be around for three.

    Put the time in on my knees,
    Every night I prayed for you,
    I loved you good, I touched you good,
    But I won't be a slave to you.

    You said that I did all that I could,
    But that still wasn't enough,
    Regardless what I did or tried,
    Your heart was void of any love.

    I went to God and asked Him,
    How do I save my Wife from sin?
    But He took that burden off me,
    Said son it's time to rise again.

    See some people have a call,
    And those people get attacked,
    Unfortunately sometimes families
    Turn into devil's snacks.

    So go ahead and punch the floor,
    Scream your lungs out make em sore,
    Fight the battles in the spirit,
    Put yourself in holy war.

    But if she's letting evil in,
    Running back time and time again,
    Then your the one who looks a fool,
    You might as well just let her win.

    It's time to set yourself apart,
    Let her go and save your kids,
    Do the best you can with all you have,
    Ley your life down and you will live!

    I've got bigger plans for you,
    If you stay strong now you will see,
    I've made you bold brave and courageous,
    So now submit and fight for me!

    I need warriors on this battlefield,
    And you've been fighting all your life,
    The time has come for you to choose
    To chase the wrong or love what's right.

    I will return to you what's stolen,
    Make your heart whole where it was broken,
    You've done well now just stay focused,
    I'm proud of you to no end.

    If a wife and mother is what you want
    I'll give you that, I'll fill your cup
    But the promises won't stop there,
    Just run your race and DON'T GIVE UP!

  • rosebyrne 14w

    I should've never planted them in a person

    All I ever wanted
    Was to have somewhere
    To plant my roots
    To grow and be safe
    And happy.
    But here I am,
    Digging them up again.


  • rachelezell27 15w

    Wish List

    I wanted love.
    I wanted trust.
    I wanted your affection.
    I wanted your lust.

    I wanted you to hear me
    To see me and smile
    I wanted you to hug me
    and maybe linger a while.

    It sounds like a lot
    but really it's not much
    Wouldn't cost you a dime
    to offer a kiss or warm touch.

    I watch you as you walk
    and sometimes as you sleep
    And even now years later
    feel my heart flutter and leap.

    Do you see me this way?
    Do you see me at all?
    Do you sit and quietly observe
    as I cook or make a call?

    I know that you must see me
    We live at the same place
    but when you see me do you really look
    and do I ever make your heart race?

    It feels like you don't notice
    but for me that's never the case
    I have drank in the outlines of your skin
    and I have memorized the creases of your face.

    I have looked at you so much
    with you completely unaware
    that the love I felt brought tears to my eyes
    but I wonder if you would even care?

    How can my love be so obvious
    so real and raw and open
    and yours be so detached
    leaving me sad, alone and broken?

    Why have my feelings increased with age
    and yours seem only to have dwindled away?
    I don't know the answers but I'd give anything to go back
    even just for a day.

    I miss the you that I once knew,
    the one who loved me and never strayed
    I know that he's gone and never coming back
    but God, I really wish he had stayed.

    ~ Rachel G. Ezell