You've cut me raw this time,
I'm drowning in despair,
this helpless feeling, the weight of it all,
too much for me to bear.
You see that I am drowning,
so you step on my head,
spit vicious words at me,
say I'd be better off dead.
It kills me to hear you say it,
it kills me to agree,
this thought is not new to me,
I've had it for weeks you see.
The things you say aren't true,
and though they never will be,
the fact that you say them anyway,
is what brings me to my knees.
The fact that you can see the hurt,
the total agony,
and simply want to inflict more,
with that smile of vicious glee.
The fact that you don't love me at all,
no matter how much I do you,
the fact that you accuse me,
with no regard for what is true.
The fact that you don't care,
don't care if I live or die,
the fact that you have destroyed me,
with all your malice and lies.
The fact that I can't stop loving you,
no matter how hard I try,
these are just a few of the reasons,
that I agree that I should die.
Not because I carry guilt,
but more a lack thereof,
it's because of all the pain you gave me,
when I just gave you love.
It's because now I am ruined entirely,
a shadow of whom I used to be,
now the darkness has got me,
and there will be no remedy.
All the baggage that I've carried,
and all of the scars that I've worn,
have made it impossible to return,
to a life that I now mourn.
I thought that we were partners,
only to find you standing as my rival,
I had to plead and claw and finally leave,
just to ensure my own survival.
Now it turns out all that was for nothing,
I'm still scratching, clawing and pleading,
the only difference is that
It's the world that I'll be leaving.
I've decided to get my ticket punched,
you know, check out a little bit early,
and I want no chance of being stopped,
so I must say my goodbyes in a hurry.
Family, I love you dearly.
Friends, I wish you existed.
Everyone else, take it easy.
Daniel, you know where to kiss it.
~ Rachel G. Ezell