Love, or Obsession?
We all have a person who matters the most. Someone we would die for. Even if they don't come to mind immediatly it's just someone who you would be willing to give everything for. I have him. Would he do the same for me?, probably not. That's okay though. I was describing my fealings for him to a friend today. We were talking about the difference between obsession and love. I said, "I just want him to be happy. He doesn't have to love me and it would be a problem if he did because he's much older. If he loved me I'd tell him no because it would end up hurting him in a way I can't bear to ever see. I never want to see him sad, hurt, or broken because of me. Do I want to be around him?, definetly. Do I crave his love?, without a doubt. Will I follow him to the ends of the earth if he asked?, only if he asked. Will I try to make him love me, will I tell him how I feel?, most assuredly not. It would make his life more complicated. He has her. I never want him to even know the word sadness so there is no way in hell that I'm going to be selfish and cause him unhappieness, I'd rather die.". My friend only stared at me with huge wide eyes. "You love him." They told me. "What?!" I asked. "You love him. The difference between obsession and love is that you want him either way, yet in obsession you will put your desires and happieness before theirs. In love, you'll do anything to keep them happy even if it means giving up your own happieness." Is what they said. The more I thought about it the more it made sense. Yes, I do love him. I won't ever act upon that love for the same reason that it is love. Yes, it hurts sometimes, yet the thing about it is, when a smile lights up his face I know I'm doing the right thing. He is slowly finding his way, he doesn't need drama and if I happen to ever find myself in his way, even if he doesn't happen to know I am, I will step aside. Love is putting him before me. Love is being happy simply because the one you love is. Even if it hurts I'm still happy. I'd much prefer my suffering to his. If I hurt him it would break my heart; if he never knows and doesn't get hurt, it'll only crack it a little and that's okay.
-Katherine C. Aclaire