Tear Me Apart
You try to build me up,
Yet it just tears at my heart.
One day its right,
The next it’s left,
I don’t control it,
For it has a grip on my chest.
I hate this feeling,
The feeling deep within,
No one seems to hear me,
It’s just despondent screams hidden behind a phoney grin.
I don’t mean for how I am,
I’m locked away behind these thick walls,
Brick upon brick, masoned together,
They hold me back,
No one is able to hear what I have to say within.
I see no light that is so eagerly spoken about,
No hope, no ambition,
Nothing to drive me forward,
The only road in existence is one of my own admission.
So here I am,
Writing of my sorrows,
As I feel there is nothing left.
Not even one glimpse of hope,
Not even my inner voice is on my side,
No one believes me when I say I’m not alright,
That somethings wrong, something deep deep inside.
That something has been tearing me apart into pieces and has been eating away at me for years on end.
God, I don’t even know how many years its been, maybe 10?
Nothing has seemed to have helped.
Therapy, medication, counselling,
Not even close family or friends.
I don’t know what to do anymore,
I simply don’t care,
I just constantly feel numb,
And it’s really not fucking fair.