I was watching her with guilt turning into tears in my eyes, I saw that. I saw that she was sad, holding back the tears forming in her throat. I wondered who could hurt her more than I did? Who could ever be stupid as I am?
"Hey man? Do u mind if I sit?" A guy asked me. I don't know him and I didn't want to be rude.
"Yeah sure". I replied. He sat beside me and asked. " So I see you are checking that pretty girl out there. Who is she?".
Really? This stranger wants me to open up about the dumbest thing I ever did? I thought. But what came in my mouth was
"she was mine once, she was crazy about me and she would have died for me. You know what? That's when you think you don't give a shit to what you mean to a girl. I cheated on her, she forgave me. I called her slut when I was angry, I ignored her when she needed me the most, I didn't care for her. Maybe I did, but not enough to make her think she was important. The truth is she wasn't, or I didn't realise she was until she left. I hurt her, I broke her, I humiliated her, but she never stopped loving me."
A fresh drop of tear fell down my cheek. But I continued
"she took care of me, and I couldn't give her anything back. Not even the love she deserved. I was so fucking dumb to let her go. I was an asshole to let her cry, I was mean and self-centred. And all I have now is regret and guilt. I wish I could go there and wipe off her tears. Hold her. Say sorry. I know it's not enough, but I wanna hug her and keep her close. Close enough for her to hear my heart beating for her, so that I could, once in my life make her feel safe, let her know that am here. For her. And I would never let her go".
A sob escaped my mouth, my jaw clenched, balled my fists so that I have control over my emotions. The guy beside me was silent. I spoke again
" I don't know why she's crying now. All I know is, she doesn't deserve to cry, not again. She deserves to be happy. And anyone who makes her cry and let her go will be so stupid and they will end up like me. Sitting over here, with regrets."
I closed my eyes as tears dropped down.
"Who are you? Why are you asking me about her?" I asked trembling from the confession I just made to a total stranger.
He said, "I am her boyfriend." He chuckled and turned his face away from mine not to have eye contact. I knew for some reason he was sad. " thank you, for letting her go". He said and left.