Dream of a life more mild
Mother and kin
Hope's in a bin
Are suicide pacts all that been?
Can't we just turn down the dial?
The children are all riled
Maybe just for a little while?
To dream of a life more mild
It's all about to spiral
So it comes in 1, 2, 3, 4
But I'm looking for more
Shaking to the core
These thoughts I can't ignore
Loathing in disguise to lure
To set myself up again just like before
This must be the cure
It's not just my skin I tore
Vices taking and taking
Am I just faking?
What am I supposed to be making?
Absent every moment, never waking
It's what from who I'm found taking
A mirrors' reflection, not myself
It seems I've been left up on a shelf
Who is this vile self?
Pretty colors are supposed to be comforting?
But this part's suffering
It's this nothing that needs to mean something
Head hurting, too loud, maybe I'll curl to sleep
Into a place quiet and deep
Surely this I'll reap
For the guilt tends to creep
Never to leave for a wink or a weep
It's a plea for an eternal goodbye slumber, kind and neat