Is this a weird thing to have written?
Facts we know about the nether weasel:
You should never make eye contact with a nether weasel, but at the same time do not look to the weasel's left. The left of a nether weasel can quite often contain atoms of weaslite and, in the autumn months, these combine with autumners in the atmosphere via a process known as quantum auteasling. The auteasling process will cause the water in human eyeballs to travel up to 2.3 million years back in time. This would be catastrophic to human vision if the process was instantaneous. But it isn't. It takes somewhere between 2.2 and 2.4 million years. So in hindsight, look where you want just not into the weasel's eyes.
The nether weasel, being from the nether, has no teeth. Instead, there are 2 points in space on the weasel's top jaw with more mass than 7 of Earth's suns. The incredible number of gravs produced by the gravitational pull of these gravity teeth are kept in check by a field of weaslite atoms. These are in a state of permanent exponential drift eastwards. If you are looking the same direction as a nether weasel on any given planet, east is always to the weasel's right. As you probably already know, nether weasels cannot turn, forcing them to wander their planet of birth until they reach a body of water where they quickly drown (gravity teeth are pretty dense).
I mentioned making eye contact with nether weasels but that is only a figure of speech as nether weasels are entirely blind. It is not well known however, that the nether weasel cub, or weaseling, has perfect eagle-like vision. They just really like looking directly at the sun when they get into their teens. Some scientists believe this to be "acting out" against the universe in a way similar to human teenagers, and has been dubbed "doing a Kevin".
Rather confusingly, although the nether weasel can be found throughout all of existence, there are two sub species, the northern nether weasel and the north west nether weasel. Nobody knows why.
The space weasel is often misidentified as the nether weasel. This can be avoided by in depth analysis of the weasels' fur. Each hair of the nether weasel contains at least 4 strands of DNA from the Nevular family; the only sentient family of DNA. Sounds mental I know, completely nonsensical you may think, but it's proper true.
Fun fact: When Albert Einstein famously thanked a nether weasel for returning a lost coin to his extensive collection in 1937, Colonel Sanders caught wind of the idea that nether weasels might be able to help him in his own endeavours. This became somewhat of an obsession, consuming every waking moment of the Colonel's life until 1940 when he finally perfected his "original recipe" of 11 herbs and spices. He claimed that all of these can be found on the average kitchen shelf, and this is true. However the 12th ingredient he failed to mention came to him when he finally managed to capture his own nether weasel. This 12th ingredient is still a mystery to scientists and scholars today, though many agree that Colonel Sanders' acquiring of the nether weasel at the end of 1939 and the recipe being perfected in 1940 was no coincidence.