The Battle of Depression
Depression has been a great partner, it seems most of my adolescent years into my adulthood. I wish I could understand a little more than I do, as to why. Some say it's your surroundings. Some say it's your genetic variation. And me, what do I say? I don't really care the reason why, just go away. I have isolated myself from everyone, besides my husband, and 3 of my 4 children. It really amazes me that I was able to be a good mother to them, despite what I was feeling. I fought hard to do so. They see that, know I have been fighting this battle, it's really no secret.
I can say that they gave me a reason to live, when I felt I couldn't anymore.
To push forward, and get through it, because that was the only choice I had.
I am thankful for the years I had with them, making my days bright. When they were little, watching them play. In their own imagination. Sometimes they would get lost in play. As I sat and watched them do so. I miss them being little. Growing up was bound to happen.
I am thankful for the all the wonderful years I had with each of them. I am thankful they directed my attention elsewhere besides on how I felt at times. Now, I see just how much that helped. Directing my attention elsewhere, that's the key. For depression. I finally understand. See, i have went the medicine route. And that is no longer an option.
For anyone suffering from depression, stay busy, and direct your attention on things you enjoy. For me it's writing, reading and listening to music. Ask yourself what keeps your mind occupied? And do that. I am not saying go have 4 children, because it occupied my mind. I don't advise it. I just used that as to how I figured out how to fight my own battle. Which I had to do on my own. That's ok. I did figure it out.
I hope this helps someone who fights the battle of depression. My heart goes out to you. Keep fighting. Don't give up, find what directs your mind off of your illness. And always hold on to hope, to want to get better. In time, you will see results. Mind you I am 42, it has taken me many years to figure this out. Love yourself. You got this, I promise. ❤