Ode To Tears
I’ve got to spend a plethora of time with you
This past year
Without even realizing it.
Leaking out of my woeful, weary soul,
Spilling out of my eyes
And then smearing onto the back of my hand
Cold and unwanted.
But what I realize now
Is that even though
I told myself I didn’t want you
Deep down, I authentically did
You are the key to my soul
And to coercing me to
Let it all out
Because along with your salty liquid
That seems to erupt out of me
Carries my lost, woeful feelings
So that they aren’t there anymore
For that moment, at least.
I wanted you to creep your way up to my eyes.
And relinquish me from this prison of my mind
Simply because I kenned it would feel better
Once you broke free.
Though there was always that force inside me that kept saying
Don’t cry, don’t let it out,
I authentically did optate to.
I wanted you.
And because of you,
Inundating this cryptic force
That occupied my mind and soul,
I did break free
Because you eluded from me
Along with my feelings.
And let me tell you, it felt awe-inspiring.
You availed me let go
And through these times
Because these times have been sucking.
These times have been sucking.
And with that avail
Things looked up.
Life didn’t suck.
But with these warm, fuzzy jubilant feelings
That seemed so incipient to me after my melancholy,
I missed you.
I missed the way you naturally relinquished me
And guided me.
It’s weird, I ken.
How I missed crying.
But somehow I did.
After so many months
You are going to be here to greet me again.
I can feel you, tears.
You’re still in the apertures in my heart,
During the first stage of my woefulness composing you
But I can tell you’re there.
You’ll probably be here by the terminus of this week.
You’re like a fetus growing inside me, tears.
You’re still in your developing stages
But I ken when you’re due.
By the cessation of this week
You will relinquish my soul
I’ve kenned it for a while.
I’m dreading you, tears,
Because I ken that your advent
Will denote that you were triggered by yet another doleful event in my life
And when that transpires
You will come
And I will break.
And I ken that I will be woebegone beyond my worst bout of despondence
But at least I ken you’re coming this time.
During our precedent meetings this past year,
You came suddenly,
An impertinent intruder barging into my life
Which led me to not appreciate you as much.
But this time I will,
Because your company is sometimes all that I have
During these tough times.
But at the same time
I’m anticipating your advent.
Because you’re going to be back to split me open
And sever me,
Leaving me to put myself back together,
Piece by piece.
And that’s precisely what I require right now:
A fresh incipient commencement from this sucky year.
Plus, I’ll have the summer to recuperate.
That’s something to look forward to.
So I conjecture I’ll meet you by the terminus of this week then.
Optically discern you later.
And thank you, tears.
Though it sometimes seems homogeneous to I take you for granted
Thank you for breaking me,
And relinquishing me
Again and yet again,
Back into my life,
Which is genuinely not so lamentable,
Compared to others
Who have better reasons to have you posses them.