5 posts
  • say_me_krish 11w

    Disclaimer: Contains sensitive information. Read at your own risk.
    A LETTER ✉

    The one who is
    genuinely loved.

    Dec 14, 2020

    Dear REAL,
    My body is burning when I'm sitting here to write out this. I don't know why (You can keep a count of the words don't know, feel, strange, lonely; just in case). Life is a hard mess, and there aren't visible threads which lead to a path of clarity. Life to me was pretty strange, or if I were weird for the existence of life, is a myth. And myths aren't meant to be resolved, but are meant to be talked about over and over in the path of searching a solution without knowing that at the end, death is everyone's destination. But the journey can still be different, through different paths, in different perspectives. The sentences I'm writing might feel irrelevant to each other, but read it again darling, it makes sense when you vanish from my shadows and reach my heart. It is just a movement of mere 90 degrees, and I want you, at least you, to understand that I exist, I want to, and I do not want to.

    Sometimes, I feel so lonely in a wedding function of a thousand people, and I don't know why. I pretend that I've puked out the heavy meals and sleep in a corner with some whispers which aren't about me. I feel that nobody can understand what I'm going through, and I don't dare to test anyone. I definitely wouldn't portray myself and you to be feeble and fragile. I'm just too alone in this world, where all I can talk to is my pillow, pen and music. I talk to people so well, they talk to me well too, but there mumbles a gut feeling of sadness when I realize that they aren't loving me as much as I do, and I don't know if it's true. My thought runs so complicated that I cannot understand myself at times. The world has 7 people who look similar to me, and yet doesn't have one to explain and elucidate me with what's going on around me. I'm too surprised with how people are so good at pretending, I'm too shocked at how some people always stay happy, I'm too confused with the difference between winter and fall, and my mind is sprinting towards strange thoughts.

    I wonder what if condoms get a life, would they bellow or be filled with lust themselves. What if arteries and veins were meant to be entwined instead of a sexual intercourse? Why is this very normal thing feels embarrassed to be spoken upon, and why I myself feel peculiar to make some jokes upon? I think of whether people are flashing their looks at me since I walk strangely. I want to fall from the terrace and see how it feels, and check upon who bring flowers and greetings, and who actually cry. I also think if I can dissect my own mind and find some answer to my existence, whether I was an accident or an intention. My mind is just so very complex. I feel sad that everyone calls me cute but not handsome. Strange again. I get angry over a man who shouts on his son on the road, and I say to myself that he's poor in parenting and that he was a son of short temper. I feel Empathetic for a depressed person , but I feel scared and angry for no reason upon them. I wonder what if I was handicapped, and I think of dying the very next moment. I think my life is the worst, and I think some existences come with 'worst' in their melanin. I don't even know if I'm completely happy or depressed, and I don't know why I'm living right now. Why are you meant to live with such a mad? Why?

    I hate people who are pretentious, but I remember that I've lied to my mother at times. I hate people who wear a facade, and I'm the one who forcefully curves his lips up when someone waves at me. I want some nice person to talk to me, bring the problem out of me, and nobody in this universe cares for this atomic structure. Do you? I feel like crying when somebody doubts me and my honesty. It feels like I'm caged in a vacuum. I don't believe in love at young age, I believe it's just attraction towards somebody's thoughts and physique, and I wonder if it is the problem of the age or the mind. I am not sure. I wonder what it feels like to love somebody, to share your lips and melt with the other's, and how it feels to be loved. I feel numb. Do you understand?

    I recently read "All the bright places" once, and I'm reading it again, and my artificial bookmark lies in page 201. I wondered what if Finch would have actually lived. If I had met him, he would've definitely understood me. I could've blocked the Blue Hole for him, maybe. He was right in dying, but he was wrong for not speaking to Violet. Violet was a whole mess of a mistake at the end, let us forget Ma'am Markey. His death brought me a feeling of death for myself. I felt like a breathing carcass who is shedding his sadness ou of waters. I'm just Perplexed with how the world is, and I don't know why I'm living. I. Don't. Know. I'm in a quicksand and I'm panicking, if you know what I mean.

    I just have even tried to die and withdrew my feelings many times, it sounded so stupid. I've made unsuccessful deaths by holding my breath, mixing two soaps in water and swallowing it, trying to look down from a tall building, pricking my hand by my compass etc,. I want to find a way for a perfect life. A life where someone believes me when I say I get good marks out of fortune, a life where I can find my Personal legend, a life where I can find some stardust for myself, a life where I matter for someone in this cosmos, a life where I can write good. A. Life. Where. I. Can. Live. Knowing. The. Reason. Of. Living.
    I don't have a bipolar disorder, just shut up, if you were to say that. They're just "labels", go read the book. I don't need treatment and physicians, I need some solicitude, and some love.

    I just want something, some happiness I wish too. I want my strange feelings to disappear. Bring a painkiller, a fire extinguisher and an oxygen tank to make me feel better, and a poisoned knife, some hallucinations, and a sleeping pill box just in case I don't like to love myself. I know you aren't bringing the last three things. But still, I wanted to say. I like to be myself with you. You understand? Write a letter soon. Come to me and define my existence.


    ~S r i K r i s h n a P S

    Sorry for the boring read, if you made it till here.
    @writersnetwork #poemtomec #skp_writes #skp_letters
    @writersbay Poem was tough, sorry ��

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  • say_me_krish 21w

    *Read the bg first*


    1. ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ BOY who is girl-ish:

    You cry in front of everyone when you feel to. You don't like sports; you rather prefer playing hopscotch with the girls of your class, your sisters. You feel empathetic to the kind; you aren't physically so strong. You wore a pink shirt on your birthday. Do these make you a glass ? They shouldn't.

    Never care for the weeds in your fields; you have organic manure for your saplings, so spray faith this time. If you're being bullied for your gender, ask them if they can dare trying what you did. Pink is the new blue. Go run to your mother and say her that you are her lovely son, with different stereotypes. I want to see a pride in your face along with that smile you had seeing your father bringing a new toy.

    Flaunt your YOU, don't fear in the backstage. Dance in your o w n style once and you'll flow smooth on the stage.

    2. ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ BOY who tops his class in academics:

    You skip your sports periods to prepare for the math test tomorrow. You are loved by your teachers. You are a gentle breeze. You feel bad for losing two marks in your periodic test. You complete all of your assignments before the deadline. You're being called bookish. Will you fail in the test these people posed? You mustn't.

    Remember this very fact that you love reading as a part of knowledge, not as a part of appreciation. If you believe in moral values, then listen: the good must turn a grain worse for the worst. Go ask them if they can match your standards. Challenge them, face them. Shirkers aren't valued. Even this time, your sister is waiting by the doors to give you a gift for being the Best student. Don't disappoint her.

    Your sail in the path of victory is interrupted by crocodiles. The raft wants to reach to the destination. Mind moving, halts become permanent if taken once.

    3. ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ BOY ᴏʀ GIRL who reads this:
    (if delivered to the wrong address accidentally)

    No gender is calculated on the foolish basis of attires and voice. Some boys are introverts who fail to interact. Is it their fault? Every mind has its own body coated with different behaviours. Rusted hearts with filthy minds try to rather find black scars on silver linings. Don't be one of them. Appreciate and accept. If swallowing the reality is difficult for you, go have a cup of coffee and gulp it down.

    If you do understand, try to bring some change. The world would be grateful. If not, you'll soon be locked in the room where your fellow barbarians stay.

    The world loves walking on graveyards and suppress them rather than keeping flowers. Remember.

    ~S r i K r i s h n a  P  S | Oct 01, 2020.

    Boys with soft behaviour are often bullied and betrayed (specially in teenage). I hope I am not being wrong with my points, because somewhere, I relate deeply with it :)

    @mirakee @writersnetwork (39, 4)
    @writersbay (4) @sangfroid_soul @hopenotes__
    #skp_writes #pod #fear #coffeec #hopenotes #skp_letters

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  • say_me_krish 26w

    A long one. #temp #lame
    Non fiction ��

    Thanks for the like WN��

    ~ Penned and Posted on August 27, 2020.

    @mirakee @writersnetwork @writersbay
    #skp_writes #lastwordsc #subtle #daadisbae #daadigotyourback #skp_letters

    @sangfroid_soul @zohiii @laus_deo Like seriously, you inspire me everytime ❤️

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    An open letter to my body,
    From , Soul.

    //ᴏᴏʜ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ, ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ʜɪɢʜᴇʀ//
    (From TOGETHER of Sia)

    I was 0,
    and you and me just blinked and cried. The tears of festivity from your link (mother) never made things explicit. After all, what can a newborn soul understand? Everyone who saw you held that infinitesimal you in their hands and just showered you all that love. Did I talk to you back then, no!

    I was 4,
    the world was merely a place where molecules of love levitated everywhere around me. The planet had only two people, Maa and Papa. I didn't know much, you just reminded me of hunger and thirst in the beginning, you later taught me to make caterwauls when you fell down while walking. Little could I understand your struggles at that time. My mother planted a subtle sapling called you. The world named you Body, a very common name. But I call you my Jᴀᴀɴ, you know it!

    I was 8,
    and I slowly learnt what you're. Your stem always fell down while moving. Your branches were those gossamer ones which didn't realize what thew was. You ha(d)ve the only bud, which has got two glass - like pearls. The pink swollen bases make the viewer feel affable. The leaves are trying to make their own space. The roots of bonding have got more of good things with the water of care, sunlight of affection, and the chloroplasts residing inside had got to gift you a tint of Blush way back then. Weren't you adorable that time my Jaan? It was, and it is very obvious, that when you're given a meet to good axitas, you melt down for the aura and that largesse simper. But someday, we're destined to interview garbage dumps too. Perhaps you didn't understand all these by that time, right?

    I was 12,
    and then you got to know that even the most radiant moon has dark phases. My uncle of 50 gave your mouth chocolates and cookies to eat, took you on outings and did everything to please you. Dumb you and dumb me, we both believed him. Then he took you to a hotel and chained you up. Within you could ask why, he even closed your mouth. I then saw his Gargantuan side, which introduced you to a whole different world. You got to know what bruises actually are and how it lasts in me evigheden. And I was all scarred, from head to toe. You were all cruor, so acerbic it was. Being brutally harassed by your own one, you couldn't gulp this. You didn't even know what he did, and what he was about to do. When he feared you not to reveal his mordacious acts, you, as a child, stayed silent. You walked in terrible pain, and he convinced everyone saying it was an accident, but was an ignominy. But little did you say that an Intentional Accident hurts you till now. I still shed tears while remembering those moments, cordolium waves at me.
    /ᴇᴘʜᴇᴍᴇʀᴀʟ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ sᴄᴀʀs ʙᴜᴛ ᴀᴍᴀʀᴀɴᴛʜɪɴᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍᴏʀɪᴇs ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀɪɴs/
    All you did back then is weep in solitude. What else could you've done? Acatalepsy!

    I was 16,
    and you now knew what moxie really is. You were that strong version of yours, who undauntedly revealed every single bit of your horror story. Trying to control tears was difficult when you actually wanted to cry. But I was dancing inside for you, as you knew what courage really is, and you knew to stand up from the worst of terrible falls.
    /And now you're that adorable rose which is blooming beautifully, and when hands come to pluck you, you show them thorns/

    /What stands up till the last with me is you/

    I would just adore you with a basket of thank you, and handfuls of apologies for putting up all the stress on you. We will always stay together, right!

    A subtle bud has now grown
    into the loveliest of flowers,
    with comely petals
    and aching thorns.
    /A distorted sapling has grown again/

    ~S r i K r i s h n a P S

  • say_me_krish 29w

    Happy Birthday Maa..... ��

    ~Penned and Posted on August 9, 2020.

    PPPS: The line ........is like the vast sky losing its blue hue is written by @soulfulstirrings
    (If you got confused, it's not her birthday today��)

    #skp_writes #lame_writes #skp_letters

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    A LETTER ✉

    In my heart.

    9th August 2020.

    Dear maa,

    //A book without pages and me without you,
    Is like the vast sky losing its blue hue//

    Sometimes, words can't sum up the happiness we find with the ones who are purely made for US, and neither can this letter judge the scale of love I always had for you.

    It's tough to describe the affection I have towards you. I might not be like those other children who are very expressive, who look very tall and handsome, who play good sports, who are capable enough of facing bit tough times, who give precious gifts on birthdays etc. But, I believe that some feelings are better left unexpressed. That would be a better way of showering more and more love towards the other person. And about precious things to be gifted to you, I have just few words:
    //When I'm already gifted with a priceless gem called YOU, with whom I spend and have spent the most precious and memorable moments, would those materialistic gifts suffice? //

    I always have this point in my mind that "Mother is the creator of a creation, and a creator can only be Almighty himself". You're mI would wish to travel back to time when I just came to pay a visit to this world, to see your happiness which could never suffice crores of money together. I want to see those smiles which came out from my tears, capture those in my memories and etch it as a tattoo deep in the delicate corners of my heart. I just hope that this dream pops like a bubble.

    I've pondered on what gift I can give to you on your birthday. But this time, this creative mind is left with just a full stop, no commas, no apostrophe, no exclamation marks. After a lot of thinking, I jumped into this decision to write a letter which would make me feel better, and, I haven't done it over the years, right? I'm not writing this letter so that you feel I'm a way too cute or anything else, my heart just prompted me to write something for you and this is what all I could do. And I'm not even sure if you would take up patience from inside to read all this. If you read it, I would be happy that you could understand me a level better, and if you don't, I would feel satisfied that I still have sweet memories stored in my memory.

    First of all, I have to give you trillion thanks for bringing me into this universe which has more lovely souls like you (perhaps you're the loveliest). Your decision probably helped me face a lot of affection and opposition on the other hand as well. You always said me that you were sorry for not bringing me up in a royal way, a rich way in accurate words. But I always said you, "I had plenty of space for myself to rest, that was more than enough, and care and affection are the richest of the riches, and I've enjoyed it luxuriously". The next sequence I can always imagine is that sweet face with tears filled in eyes which spoke thousands of words to me.

    I've grown up seeing you, adoring and cherishing you, learning from you. A sapling always grows under the shelter of a tree, and so did I. This shelter of nurture made a young sapling bear good flowers. If people call me a well- nurtured child, it is all your credits (let me not forget papa XD). I see the most beautiful sunrise and sunsets in you.

    And, I could never forget to thank you for the routine, uff. Your routine starts by the night with this question, "Kal khaane mein kya banau?" which remained one of the most confusing questions, left unanswered. Your morning starts by yelling at me to wake up, but 5 minutes always give more joy. Keeping hot water ready for me to drink and to bath, keeping my uniform pressed, preparing the yummiest breakfast everyday, managing the laundry and the crockery, preparing lunch again, watching mobile, taking the smallest nap, waiting for me to return from school so that I can report you every event, having some snacks ready for me, forcing me to study, watching serials together and then go to sleep. Thanks for managing the routine so well. It's really easy to say to cook that, cook this, and stuff. But seriously, when I started cooking in my holidays, I got to know how much difficulty it takes to prepare even simple bread toast; and you always make us start our day with those crisp dosas, stuffed chapatis and perfect rice delicacies , yummm.

    And, you never showed us the poor side of yours and all the tough times. You just felt happy fulfilling all my wishes (and I'm happy that I didn't want much, because love sufficed everything to me since my young ages). And I remember this situation: Whenever a jewel ad would pop out in the television, you would say me that my beta will bring me the same one and I would burst out into laughter saying, pehle mein 10th pass to karloo... But jokes aside, the hopes I saw in your eyes viewing me in that position always made me feel a way too emotional.

    Memories with you are something which never fade away. The times when you appreciated me for getting prizes, the times when you scolded me and later came to convince me, the times we secretly ate Pani Puri, the times we used to laugh like mads in some mental hospital, the times when you used to care me when I had fever, the times you used to keep me locked in the bathroom when I used to irritate you during cooking, the times we used to play Ludo and you making a balloon face when losing (It happens everytime though, coz I always win in this game), the times when you used to sing lullabies to me, the times you used to hug me tight with love are something which never fade like the azure skies.

    Also, the most important thing which makes me stand strong today is your words. There were times when I used to be so weak and fragile that I just used to cry so badly for every petty reason. Those times, I had no courage to face things, nor I had the confidence to bear things. You were the one who taught me to be that tough stone which could never be shattered even by the heaviest rains. You developed this sense of courage in me, which has now brought in me the potential to face things. I would thank you for this great lesson. On this day, I just wanna Thank you for every single chore you did for me out of love, Thank you for the sacrifices you had to do for my sake, Thank you for all the courage you gifted me.

    And, I wish you the merriest birthday,my dear Mother. I would pray God to give me the power to keep you smiling wide at all times, and also give me the tolerance to never pass you my sorrows. I couldn't promise you to give you all the luxuries of the world, but I can promise you to keep you previously and gift you the most precious ornament- S M I L E.

    Love you Infinity raised to the power of Infinity.... ♥️

    Your lovely son,
    ~S r i K r i s h n a P S.

  • say_me_krish 31w

    @_hessa_ Purple inspirations.. I tried your style, is it good����
    @_thewordplayer @veloc1ty_ @petrichor_tales Thank you "Interview Inspirations" ��

    I tried to write something good, is it a fail? ��
    Any favorite lines?

    1. If you like to write a reply letter, tag me with #paramour_writes (I feel nobody gonna write��)
    2. Purely Fiction ����

    ~Penned and Posted on July 24, 2020.

    *NO TITLE*
    (If you can suggest, I can add the title��)

    LETTER ✉
    The dear someone called 'MINE' in the drenched past,

    These mizzles by 7.52 in the evenings are something which always bring me to your doors of agapes, which are closed forcibly by you, forever..... After these senseless betrayals for three great years, the meaning of love I got was only this - "Choking PAIN in hearts and brains"

    Do you remember? We had seemingly built up our own universe- a serene one, filled with felicity. Our love was something which would sometimes be crushed roses- smashed by rough hands. Yet, the gentilesse stems of bonding always had place for new roses to bloom wide, attracting heartfelt souls. But now, things have seemingly changed, just as you moved yonders away from me. Over the days, being novaturient is what I want, but changes never swept my way.
    //Distances bring changes in the mind as well as the heart, for every garden has to lose yellowed grasses and drooped flowers as soon as time goes away from them//

    Days passed on and on, but our love never passed on to the next level. Our love just dusked as the sky does, but never appeared at its beauty; just faded out to vantablacks. 12 am had to gift me dark boxes though. The 6am  mornings and the sunshines just stopped embracing me; such a painful soul I was. Embracing me would perhaps make even sunshines darker; it had rays of glistening joy, and I had rays of excruciations and depressions. My perception that our saga would stay amaranthine also dusked; it was the same love which was iridescent- now became the darkest book, which none preferred to leaf into. I just learnt yearning to you over the years, but never got a step to move up. The susurrus zephyrs which seemed to caress me so gently have now become rageous storms for no reason, hitting my already fragile heart and shattering it to the tiniest smithereens. I am just left with just one question, "Why?"

    Now I understand- even an elfin chaos amidst the salt and sugar can hamper the taste of a delicacy made with utmost efforts. I'm still left with many questions though, which would perhaps never get cleared. My possessiveness, my emotions, my solicitude, what was the reason? Those initial days spent with you, a diary titled "Mine forever" filled with blank pages, a rose you gave me, now almost decomposed like my heart, and most importantly - PAIN, is what left with me now as mere memories. Maybe my unflappable nature was always misused by you, and many others too, who just left me barely nude with myriad agony all around.

    The blood in my arteries has stopped flowing, but still, this heart pumps a crimson- hued thing called BELIEF; an ethereal belief that you'll come back to me, realizing that I am a selcouth and a true soul. My heart has bore much pain than me myself, I wanted to transfer the pain to something else; how much can a 340gram weighing muscle bear? But, nobody can take this much, is the sad reality now .............

    They say, wine turns medicinal as it turns older. But why didn't our bonds strengthen and soothe as time flowed? The ineffable kalon in you is what my senses have already experienced, but this greedy soul wanted more, just a bit more. If not this, then what?
    I need answers, once and for all. If you can't get me out of the well, just don't. But don't let me drown into by digging it deeper.

    //I keep finding wrong ones,
    but I want love,
    Again and again//
    (lines from BOYFRIEND of Selena Gomez ❤️)

    Your betrayed one, Krish.

    ~S r i K r i s h n a P S
    And yes, my favourite word is PAIN.
    (Experience and pain relate��)


    @cyan_rose Here!
    #blue_dear #blue_ineffable #blue_word_32 #blue_word_31 #blue_word_30

    @writersbay I merged many challenges. I hope it isn't a mess...
    #timec #yonderc #mizzlec #etherealc #wordc #duskc #chaosc #unflappable #myriadc #worthc #yearnc #redolentc #halcyonc #zephyrc #amaranthinec #selcouthc #kalonc

    @mirakee @writersnetwork
    " #lame_writes" #skp_writes #pod #ceesreposts #paramour_writes #skp_letters


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