A LETTER ✉
In my heart.
9th August 2020.
//A book without pages and me without you,
Is like the vast sky losing its blue hue//
Sometimes, words can't sum up the happiness we find with the ones who are purely made for US, and neither can this letter judge the scale of love I always had for you.
It's tough to describe the affection I have towards you. I might not be like those other children who are very expressive, who look very tall and handsome, who play good sports, who are capable enough of facing bit tough times, who give precious gifts on birthdays etc. But, I believe that some feelings are better left unexpressed. That would be a better way of showering more and more love towards the other person. And about precious things to be gifted to you, I have just few words:
//When I'm already gifted with a priceless gem called YOU, with whom I spend and have spent the most precious and memorable moments, would those materialistic gifts suffice? //
I always have this point in my mind that "Mother is the creator of a creation, and a creator can only be Almighty himself". You're mI would wish to travel back to time when I just came to pay a visit to this world, to see your happiness which could never suffice crores of money together. I want to see those smiles which came out from my tears, capture those in my memories and etch it as a tattoo deep in the delicate corners of my heart. I just hope that this dream pops like a bubble.
I've pondered on what gift I can give to you on your birthday. But this time, this creative mind is left with just a full stop, no commas, no apostrophe, no exclamation marks. After a lot of thinking, I jumped into this decision to write a letter which would make me feel better, and, I haven't done it over the years, right? I'm not writing this letter so that you feel I'm a way too cute or anything else, my heart just prompted me to write something for you and this is what all I could do. And I'm not even sure if you would take up patience from inside to read all this. If you read it, I would be happy that you could understand me a level better, and if you don't, I would feel satisfied that I still have sweet memories stored in my memory.
First of all, I have to give you trillion thanks for bringing me into this universe which has more lovely souls like you (perhaps you're the loveliest). Your decision probably helped me face a lot of affection and opposition on the other hand as well. You always said me that you were sorry for not bringing me up in a royal way, a rich way in accurate words. But I always said you, "I had plenty of space for myself to rest, that was more than enough, and care and affection are the richest of the riches, and I've enjoyed it luxuriously". The next sequence I can always imagine is that sweet face with tears filled in eyes which spoke thousands of words to me.
I've grown up seeing you, adoring and cherishing you, learning from you. A sapling always grows under the shelter of a tree, and so did I. This shelter of nurture made a young sapling bear good flowers. If people call me a well- nurtured child, it is all your credits (let me not forget papa XD). I see the most beautiful sunrise and sunsets in you.
And, I could never forget to thank you for the routine, uff. Your routine starts by the night with this question, "Kal khaane mein kya banau?" which remained one of the most confusing questions, left unanswered. Your morning starts by yelling at me to wake up, but 5 minutes always give more joy. Keeping hot water ready for me to drink and to bath, keeping my uniform pressed, preparing the yummiest breakfast everyday, managing the laundry and the crockery, preparing lunch again, watching mobile, taking the smallest nap, waiting for me to return from school so that I can report you every event, having some snacks ready for me, forcing me to study, watching serials together and then go to sleep. Thanks for managing the routine so well. It's really easy to say to cook that, cook this, and stuff. But seriously, when I started cooking in my holidays, I got to know how much difficulty it takes to prepare even simple bread toast; and you always make us start our day with those crisp dosas, stuffed chapatis and perfect rice delicacies , yummm.
And, you never showed us the poor side of yours and all the tough times. You just felt happy fulfilling all my wishes (and I'm happy that I didn't want much, because love sufficed everything to me since my young ages). And I remember this situation: Whenever a jewel ad would pop out in the television, you would say me that my beta will bring me the same one and I would burst out into laughter saying, pehle mein 10th pass to karloo... But jokes aside, the hopes I saw in your eyes viewing me in that position always made me feel a way too emotional.
Memories with you are something which never fade away. The times when you appreciated me for getting prizes, the times when you scolded me and later came to convince me, the times we secretly ate Pani Puri, the times we used to laugh like mads in some mental hospital, the times when you used to care me when I had fever, the times you used to keep me locked in the bathroom when I used to irritate you during cooking, the times we used to play Ludo and you making a balloon face when losing (It happens everytime though, coz I always win in this game), the times when you used to sing lullabies to me, the times you used to hug me tight with love are something which never fade like the azure skies.
Also, the most important thing which makes me stand strong today is your words. There were times when I used to be so weak and fragile that I just used to cry so badly for every petty reason. Those times, I had no courage to face things, nor I had the confidence to bear things. You were the one who taught me to be that tough stone which could never be shattered even by the heaviest rains. You developed this sense of courage in me, which has now brought in me the potential to face things. I would thank you for this great lesson. On this day, I just wanna Thank you for every single chore you did for me out of love, Thank you for the sacrifices you had to do for my sake, Thank you for all the courage you gifted me.
And, I wish you the merriest birthday,my dear Mother. I would pray God to give me the power to keep you smiling wide at all times, and also give me the tolerance to never pass you my sorrows. I couldn't promise you to give you all the luxuries of the world, but I can promise you to keep you previously and gift you the most precious ornament- S M I L E.
Love you Infinity raised to the power of Infinity.... ♥️
Your lovely son,
~S r i K r i s h n a P S.