The conversations between thoughts
"It brings me to my knees.."
That's how it makes me feel.
Weak. Broken. Incomplete.
I know, I know I'm hard to understand,
and the things I do are bad.
I know some struggle to keep up with me.
But no one ever tried to tame this unstoppable transition.
You tamed it all.
The anger, the rage, the fire that burns inside of me.
Locked me in a fucking old cage,
and threw me in that hole of emptiness.
“It makes me want to scream and let out the pain inside..”
Laughing in my face when I saw the tears in your eyes,
for what you've done to me.
And like a flaming volcano,
I roared back at your laughs.
Thinking we could never match.
“How she poisoned our minds with her wrong decisions!”
But little did I know how snakes role around us.
“and he... He left me, believing her.
He left me for her when I accepted everything he put me through.
And my mistake was that I loved all the drugs
he struck up in my veins!”
And how stupid was it for me to accept this cage,
the cage in that empty hole of darkness, coldness.
And made a home out of it.
And every time you left,
the room grew colder and colder.
It's chilling, it's iced.
It's the coldest can ever get.
“He just left. No last words, no closure to anything.
No chance to explain, correct what she lied.”
And you kept leaving, every time, I grew colder and colder,
until I'm frozen inside out.
“I.. I feel like I'm dead. That being this cold.
I heard only dead people grow this cold..”
And the darkness is darkening and dimming.
Like a grave, I feel like you have buried me.
“But I still have this dimmed candle fighting me to keep hope.
That he will come back. One day, he probably will.”
And I wait for that moment,
that moment where you finally come in,
bringing your flames and volcanos into my house,
back to me, and set us both on fire.
The ice you froze me with, you melted it.
“And I know, I know that even if he came back one day...
He will just leave again, and again and again..”
And every single time you leave, again.
The same happens all over again.
“Because he saw my scars,
he saw that I'm not that pretty face
That curved body everybody else loves to see,
he saw how broken and full of flaws I truly am.
He saw me for me”
And it shocks me into oblivion degree of agony and pain,
that I lose my mind, every time you walk away...
“But because of the way I feel for him,
I will always delight in the awful taste of this suffering,
he seems to put me through, forever.”