I can't put a finger on these thoughts I'm feeling, and I can't put my thoughts in the matters I'm in.
I don't know how to feel the joy in the youth that adults crave yet go out of their way to destroy.
I feel this sadness, this grief for something that doesn't exist; like I need therapy for some trauma I've never had.
I want to kiss a moving car or just go somewhere far far from here.
I'm clueless about myself but knows that no one knows more about me than myself.
I'm confused about my actions which seem to bring tension within the life I'm almost living though I'm still breathing, not caring.
I have a hard time figuring out my own personality like it's an identity I'm supposed to find with a sense of clarity I don't have.
I feel like I'm lying to myself though I don't even know what's true or not in this empty head full of nonsense and dramatic, negative poems.
I need a break from life but I know that means not living, yet I want to live with no burdens, without dying cuz I know that dying gives no meaning to the life I've been living yet not dying means doing endless things knowing nothing, never resting.
What is this sadness, this empty piece of burden on my shoulders ever since I noticed that I might be worthless?
This feeling of wanting to die yet being afraid and wanting to change with no not enough courage?
Like I'm frozen in time but losing my youth in my storm of a mind that thinks so much yet answered nothing.
I have no idea how to call this numbness that I've felt for years but adults call it nothing.
Maybe I think too much in a world full of mindless idiots.
Or maybe people become mindless to live their lives in simple ways without trying to decode it like some giant puzzle for idiots like me.
I'm so confused, so lost in my views and wonders when I'll be able to live life like the normal few.
For now a name for what they call a depressive phase, I'll call it Unnamed Blues.