Dear Suvivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse
I dont know you but I know what you've been through. You know what he did to you. When you were just a little child, he touched you in places he had no right to touch. For that, I am so sorry. I am so sorry you had to experience what it was like to be an adult when you were still only a little child. I am so sorry that you will always carry that experience with you. I am so sorry that even though it was his actions, you have to live with the consequences. He sexually abused you. I dont know how many times it happened or what he did to you .. but I hope you know these things.
I hope you know that you did not deserve that. You did not deserve what he did to you. Not then, not now and not ever.
I hope that whenever it haunts you, you remind yourself that it was not your fault. In no way, was it or will it ever be your fault. You were betrayed in one of the most brutal ways by someone who you should have been able to trust. You were only a child. You were innocent. And yes, he may have robbed you of your childhood and your innocence but you are not to blame for that. What he did, that's on him. Not you. What he did to you, doesnt have to define you. You are so much more than that man who could not keep his hands to himself. You are so much more. It is not your identity. It is his; he is a child molester, pedophile, rapist. That's his label. But for you, you are capable of being whatever you dream of and the beautiful thing is you will always be a survivor. You survived and for that I am so proud of you. I am proud of you. You are an incredibly brave person. I admire you for that. I dont know who it was to you- to me it was my grandfather so as someone who has experienced similar trauma, never allow anyone to minimize what happened to you. What you feel is justified. I see you. I see your pain and fear and wounds. You aren't alone. I will pray for you, I will hold you in my heart and hope you find healing. I believe you can heal from this. Even when it feels like you cant, remember i believe you can. I hope you know that despite what he did to you, there is one thing he can never take away from you and that is your worth. You are worth so much, you are worth the entire world and more. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of happiness. You are worthy of healing. You are worthy of safety. What he did can never diminish your worth. I hope you never forget that. You have a right to your own body even if he made you feel like you didnt, you do. I hope you love your body even though he taught you not to. You are worthy to be loved by yourself.
I hope you know that in no way is what he did okay or deserving of forgiveness. You have a right to never want to see him again. Do not allow people to tell you how you should act, you decide what happens now. Never feel the need to apologize for the ways you heal what he hurt. I hope you know you are not alone. I hope you know that you are still beautiful. I hope you know that you can save yourself. You possess the strength to get through this. The journey that lays ahead of you is long and it will be tough but you are so much stronger than you think you are.
Love from someone who gets it. Xx