Its like you're swimming. Every so often you get dunked in the water face first, the cold water numbing you. But you can't even take a breath to prepare yourself because you only know you've been above water once you've been shoved back under. So you almost drown, the pressure collapsing in your lungs until you can't breathe. Then you're let up again in a false moment of hope. You don't even remember to take a breath because you thought it'd get better. But it never does, does it? You breathe just fine until a final exhale and you're dunked in the water again, but deeper this time. You forget about the times you could breathe, you could swim just fine and the water overwhelms you. It fills your senses until it feels like all you've ever known. When you come back up, your hair and skin is still wet, it gets into your eyes and blurs your vision. You're panting, gasping for breath, but at least you can breathe. You try to swim to shore, but you can't see it and it only makes it harder the next time you go under. The water gets sickening, it just gets harder and harder to hold on until you wonder if it's ever worth trying. Because even if you find someone to help you make it to shore, it will make you lose hope every time it rains.