I wish I could scribble happiness ,
I wish I could ink my happy side ,
I wish I could ink down smiles ,
I wish I could say a lot in short ,
I wish I could make readers live my poems,
I wish I could add life to it ,
I wish I could make people feel them deeply ,
I wish I could write with glittering thoughts ,
But I can't
When I pick my pen to scribble ,
It starts scribbling itself .
It starts to scribble my made up reality .
It starts to write my loneliness .
It starts to ink my dark side .
It starts to trace my tears on the page .
It starts to turn my inner sadness into words .
And once it starts ,
It doesn't stop until a harsh blow of wind flies the page away,
Until the sad letters stab a knife through my heart,
Until I cry tears of blood ,
Until the evil haunts me deep
It never stops scribbling,
The words I want to write just stay inside me ,
And when my sad pen stops,
The happy words vanish like they were never felt ,
Like they were never there,
Like they were never smiling at me,
Feels like they became angry and left me,
Sad and wounded.
And this is why
I can't .