Who is your other half?
It's okay.. its okay when sometimes you don't get the love you want.. the person your desire for. But you can't hold onto that person forever you know.. expecting someday you might get their touch, their love.. you won't actually. This sounds so hard and hurtful but it's true. You can confess to them or try to win them over but you are scared. Scared to get rejected, scared to get walked over by. So you just sit there looking at that person, falling in love with that person everyday, appreciating the beauty of them even if to someone else they just look like shrek. When you are in love or so so blinded by lust or attraction you just forget to see the reality, to see their flaws. It might even happen that they are the most toxic thing in your life but you still choose to love them, and why? Because you god damn dont know. You just keep seeing the good in them even if they overlook you and ignore you. You are hurt and broken yet you decide to collect those pieces and choose to love with each of those broken pieces? Why? You don't know again? Love indeed is the most beautiful yet the most painful thing ever. The most powerful emotion that can even get the dead back to life or life to the dead. It sounds crazy but emotions do actually hold more power than what we anticipate it to be. So what is this emotion that you are holding? This one sided love? Why are you falling in love with something that doesn't love you back in not even the slightest possible way. Again you dont know right? It's simple we all see hundreds of people in a day or thousands in a week.. we see them all, we watch them all, but sometimes you just walk across this one soul that attracts you. That beckons you to them. And you like a fool fall in love without even knowing why? And that's okay. That's the beauty of love. Falling in love with unknown strangers with a backstory you would love to fix and know about, to be in a new story with them. And that's okay. So what's not okay then? Let me tell you that. When you start to fall in love your mind releases hormones and different stuffs that kind of makes you delusional, it makes you stop to see the reality. The emotion 'love' is such a happy emotion for the time that you slip away from the reality of other emotions. You become blind and that's why the quote 'love makes you blind' all you think about is the beautiful and sensual moments you spend with the loved ones. That's how happy it makes you. And yet the ironic part is you start imagining it way before you have even approached the person. Even known about the person but by now you are blind already, you have already lost touch from reality. But then that's when the what I love to call 'the half lovers' basically the one sided lovers realise that the other one is not in love with you in the same way as others, you deny to accept it. And all this why? Because you have already lost touch with the real world. You are in a mystic world where there's only love and happiness. So what do you do? You still choose to live in that world and why again? Obviously cause its a better world. You keep saying to yourself that they will fall in love with you that if you show your efforts and your presence in their life everytime they need you they have to fall in love with even if you think you are the most ugliest creature. You create stories in your head about the certain one making love to you. You are lost by now. Your friends see it, your family sees it in fact the whole fucking world sees how delusional you have become. They call you back to reality, call out loud but you choose to ignore. You want to stay down in your fantasy world with someone who doesn't even notice or appreciate your love. But then days goes by months goes by years goes by you are losing your patience now. You have got anxiety issues, depression, eating disorders and what not!? Why because the one you love has still not noticed your love in reality. And by now your fantasy world has got you messed up, now you have lost track of time and reality. Yes one sided love can fuck you up like anything. It doesn't have to be any specific kind of love. You can love a certain one without even feeling sexually attracted. You just fall for them. And I think it's the worst kind of drug to ever exist because the pain you feel when you are hurt in love is worse than dying. At least when you are dead you go numb but with love it's like you are being stabbed everytime you see that person and not being able to embrace them. And by now you have gone crazy. All you want is that one person because years has passed by and you still are stuck on that ONE FUCKING PERSON. So what now? What NOW? You either force yourself out or forever be lost and hurt. So this one time this last time you just want to check if the person you have given so much love to all these years loves you back or at least appreciates you back or not. So you let go to see if the person would hold on to you or not. But guess what? They won't and that's when you get your first taste of truth and reality in years or months. That's when it strikes you that how lost you have been. Again you think so what now? Nothing it's just you will be now in trauma for the next few months because guess who just got the truth bomb blown right on their face. So basically some will drink it away and some will dance, some will hurt it away physically and some will drug it away, but this time to escape from the sad reality. You are helpless by now and trust me nothing is going to help you. No positive speeches, no friends and not even god itself. So you think that's it? That's the end of 'half lovers' so basically all the doors get closed? No not all doors get closed one remains open always. And that door is YOU. Now you have seen reality and now you are broken. The only thing that can help you is you. Now you have to decide to either waste your rest of time being drunk on the love you never got or decide to actually learn to be fucking happy in reality. And no it's not easy, funny how you spent so much time overlooking someone else's flaws and didn't get the same thing in return you started hating yourself. For not being good enough. But then you have had enough and this one day you wake up it's a bright morning, this beautiful golden sunlight entering your room you just woke up fresh in the morning, the smell of freshness and warmth all in the air you look yourself in the mirror and for the first time in days you saw your beauty. The raw beauty. Atlast took a hell lot of time but you did. You saw your brown hair shining due to the sun rays falling on it. You see your beautiful colored eyes shinning so bright you are almost aghast. Out of breath with what you are seeing. That's exactly when you realise your worth. And you choose YOUR BODY over anyone and anything. No you dont become mean and egoistic and start having trust issues. You just start seeing the world in a different way. You feel the power rising inside of you. The power to make the happiness real. Without that person. You don't need someone to give you happiness. You dont. We all think we do but if we can change our priorities to ME first than others we can achieve great things. We can learn to be happy and feel loved with the little things we have. We can now give others the happiness they have been looking for too and make them realise the real happiness is yourself. This is not the key to just broken half love or broken love this is the key to everything. Put yourself first in a positive way and learn to trust the real ones who had been there for you through the whole time. And if you think that why I wrote this talking about half lovers it's because they fall in love with someone they never get. At least the broken lovers once had the lovers in reality. It's in no way better but half broken always lived in an imaginary world which is very scary and sad. Altogether I just want to say. Feel yourself, fall in love with yourself and take care of yourself now and when I say all this doesn't mean you become all narcissistic and start thinking whatever you say or do or think is right. NO love yourself, learn from your surroundings that's real, adapt to your surroundings and believe in yourself. Listen to what people say. But dont let them control you. If you have got you then why fear the pain of feeling broken cause your soulmate is yourself. Stop finding your other half because you were never a half.