The waves are all the feelings that I typically pray away...the emotions that feel overwhelming, like suffering in the midst of a beautiful day.
The waves are the emotions that bring chaos and fear to my insides ...sometimes on a day to day.
I’m blessed, so I trust and can know they won’t stay but it doesn’t keep them from coming my way.
This part of me is why I continue to pray.
This part of me is why I cant change; I can’t go back to what’s not like me. I have to stay true to my ever-changing self always.
It’s the only promise.
It’s the only way to survive this humanness.
It’s the only way to heal my hypothalamus.
Theres a certainty in me that won’t leave me and I’ve some experiences that I just can’t betray. Every day i see more and more that...
There’s no getting out of it.
There’s no getting away from it.
There’s no way I can get rid of the waves.
No matter how much I learn.
No matter how much I grow.
No matter how much goodness I crave.
No matter how much I elevate my Spirit, practice kindness and give forgiveness away.
No matter how much my energy ascends.
No matter how much bullshit I transcend...
My humanness is here to stay.
Its ingenious darkness
never ceases to humble me.
It makes me wanna puke.
It makes me wanna cry.
Sometimes I do both...
So, you can trust me when I say,
I’ve been trying to learn to surf these waves.
I’ve been reading, learning, implementing, introspecting, analyzing, unlearning, implementing, and living as bravely as I can.
This is why everyday, I pray.
There’s just no other way.