Thoughts and Thots
I don't know any thots but I have so many thoughts. I wish that I knew lots and didn't think of "What, if?" It's basically every GIF ever made, inside my head, like a digging spade. And I wonder should I evade, but isn't it true. That if we don't act in the first 5 seconds of having to make a choice, that our likelihood of actually carrying out our intentions decreases significantly the more it is put off or thought about? The mind creates unnecessary doubt, based on past experiences and information. I might as well just station myself with concrete boots. For I have grown ridiculously deep roots to prevent myself from action. And this fraction of time that is required to act upon is so hard for me to capture. But I know these roots are a safety mechanism to prevent negative feedback. And maybe they've kept me grounded and with self control. How many men can say they didn't act on their urges or the feeling of the moment or "their" wants because they saw someone so beautiful and extraordinary on the other side. But there was no verbal go ahead to coincide. I can say that. Because the uncertainty and fear of losing someone, so incredible, completely, scared those urges right out of me. And if that's not Love, then I don't know what is. If thots should happen to give me attention, then maybe I would lose attention to my thoughts. I think there would be less pain, but I guess in that respect, I wouldn't gain.