My depression didn't come rushing like a tsunami,
It crept quietly like a trickle edging down on a windowpane.
My depression didn't come banging, threatening to unlock my hinges,
It tapped slowly, soothingly on the door of my mind.
It left unnoticeable red flags in its wake;
A green leaf buried in a heap of wood clippings.
It caressed and doted me like a loving mother;
A warm shoulder to rest on,
An embrace so welcoming,
A soft smile...
It all offered.
So I thought,
Until it displayed its fangs.
Then it breezed down my defenses,
Tearing down my confidence,
Until I became _zombiefied_.
My depression held me in a tight grip,
Sucking up all my air,
Till I turned to it for help.
My depression became my zoar and hell,
My friend and enemy.
During the day it pushes me through life,
Helping me survive life's turmoils;
During the night it offers ways to end it all,
Pills and potions, knives and blades, ropes and fallen chairs.
But even in these moments I fail at strength,
My depression is my only friend,
And I can't let it go...
Not even for death.