Being a bystander willing to join the active group is hard.
You wonder if you'd be allowed,accepted.
You wonder if they'd feel disturbed.
You wonder if you'd disrupt the order.
You're deemed rude,unwilling,unhelpful,impolite.
In reality you're scared of ignorance and being hurt.
But such is the human mind you see,
Overtly cautious, it also makes you feel an unending guilt and ever-brooding melancholy.
Guilt for just being a bystander.
Guilt for being unable to join the group.
Guilt for existing there in the moment,
For your mind despises you for being so insecure,weak.
But then you also hate your self for hating those that never aided you to induce,
Yet you acknowledge that it was never their job to be there for you,
Such conundrum,such dilemma.
All for being a bystander.