#whitesun

3 posts
  • mmbftd 92w

    Fog

    Socked in again
    But this isn't fog
    I know, you know
    That something much more
    Sinister
    Created this sky
    I keep looking
    Searching
    For that orange-yellow fire
    That signified life to me
    Gave me youthful energy
    But it's hidden
    Obstructed
    Behind this blue to white sky
    Obstruction
    Purposefully
    They drop it low
    On our lives
    As we start to hideaway
    Collect in small groups
    And hold to each other
    Sharing memories
    That are morphing now
    Mandela may just be alive
    Nothing is certain
    There is nothing sturdy
    To lean our brains on
    Nothing to give us strength
    To face this
    We collect
    Like bubbles on water
    Desperate for community
    But we've been splattered
    Apart
    Turned against each other
    And shame
    Runs our dreams turned night terrors
    No one's sleeping good anymore
    That sharp silver screech
    Of tinnitus
    Running in our heads
    Something has gotten out can't erase it now
    Like a parasite
    It feasts
    On what we are becoming
    And I would give anything
    To return
    To blue skies
    And hot fire sun
    To simple meals around an old scratched oak dinner table
    Running outside
    Barefoot in the grass
    With friends who felt like family
    But those days are gone
    How long since any of us laughed with each other?
    Too long
    How long since you fell in love?
    Too long
    I need my history
    To stay intact
    But we are socked in
    And this isn't fog
    It's intentional
    Dimming and dumbing
    Of our true lights
    Potential can't easily take flight
    When we've all become
    Socked in
    This isn't fog.
    ©mmbftd

  • mmbftd 126w

    The Watchers

    That white light
    Hot without warmth
    Rays without
    Golden hour
    What they have stolen
    Can never be returned
    Memories hold that
    Beautiful yellow sun
    Tell me now
    Which do you see?

  • mmbftd 129w

    Yellow Sun

    I saw a yellow sun recently
    It made everything glow
    So beautifully
    All the colors of life
    Clear and vibrant
    Deep
    Expressions
    Of the emotions they made me feel.
    I was so surprised by this yellow sun
    Because it had been so long
    Since I had seen one
    The searing white hot light
    That pulsed and beamed
    And burnt my flesh
    Had become the norm
    The trails smeared by jets
    That covered this white sun
    Was our normal now
    But when I saw the yellow sun
    It brought a comfort and calm
    One I had forgotten
    From my childhood
    Before things had turned to
    Screaming and struggles
    When it was just me
    Surrounded by my little friends
    As we dove into my pool
    Over and over again
    Smelling wonderfully
    Of chlorine and Coppertone
    We stayed in too long
    Until our fingertips were
    Unrecognizable
    Who were we now?
    We floated together in the center of the innertube
    And watched the ripples of light travel back and forth across each other
    Glowing on the bottom of the pool
    And I think I realized then
    But forgot along the way
    That time is not linear
    But all around us in every way
    Every direction all at once
    Like those sunlit patterns on the floor of the pool
    Always crossing over each other
    Merging
    And then receding
    And pushing right through-
    Like tides but clearer to see.
    As I floated there with my little friend
    Back to back
    our tiny spines touching
    Yellow sun drying
    and nurturing us at the same time
    As the nylon of my bathing suit
    Clung to my freckled skin
    And the breeze cooled me just enough to not realize that I was sunburning
    And oh!
    what I wouldn't give for a yellow-sun-sunburn now!
    To fill me up with that good
    Energy.
    This white hot imposter
    Leaves only anxiety and depression
    It makes me the crazy one
    As no one else seems to notice this strange new sky
    But this...
    This is NOT
    my childhood sky.

    ©mmbftd