It was a winter morning in Delhi when we left for the Horlicks wizkids festival, it was one of the biggest platform to showcase your extra co-cirriculum during school. I participated in the fashion show and I was least excited to show up. I was doing it just to spend my energies somewhere so that i would stop thinking about her. It was my board year and i had not touched any course book in days. So fashion show, they needed a good-looking senior boy and i didn't have to audition for that, i was just taller i would say. I didn't attend any of those meetings. I agreed to the fashion department whatever they wanted me to wear, I gave my measurements over the phone. The choreography session went worst. I was not interested and it was visible but still i managed to be the part of the show.
Everytime i was on the phone just waiting for one message, dying to see the notification with her name, a little picture of her would show up just imagining sending my prayers to the universe. Nothing happened. I was in a "complicated" relationship. I was unable to relate with this term. I had seen the world through my elder brother's eyes. He is ten years elder to me. Almost half a generation. Siblings dont share their life often and when there is a generation gap there is no chance. I was very keen and curious with his love life, i somehow knew he loved this girl and they couldnt be together because they prayed different gods. But there was no confusion. Do i love her or just had an attraction. Or she talks a lot. She touches the deepest of my heart. She knows everything and where to hit the hardest. Our generation had these problems around. There was always an opportunity to be with someone better. Making a decision to be with anyone, seeing life with any single person was really tough, and then you go through a lot of criticism and you always find the other couple better, and then you start expecting. It wasn't me who had these thoughts i was very happy and desicive. My emotions and values were same of bhaiya's generation. Love for me was dil chahta hai. I had seen the film with my brother and his group. In my age cinema had different love stories which directly abandoned our lives.
I was standing in the late comers' cue, my hands were cold and i put them in my pockets and i got a complete treatment for that. One should never do that in the punishment zone. My team requested the authorities to let me go as we had a competion ahead and the bus was waiting only for me. The teacher incharge looked at me and told the team that the person is irresponsible and he didn't deserve to represent our school. There was no emotion in me after listening to those shrewd words by him. I was rigid. They somehow took me to the bus from school's gate. They obviously said many things from gate to bus but all that just reflected and bounced off me. As now i missed those things but i clearly remember how happy everyone was in school bus. School buses are filled with the high bakchodive energy that everyone can stay happy. All of them were giggling making fun doing pranks and here i shifted my mind towards them. Junior kids were playing antakshari and all i could remember the time when i used to sing for her over the phone and so that i did not have to sing another one i used to make that Antakshari. My mood litte bit shifted and i could see myself smiling. I used to be that joker earlier when i had not really struck upon this life.
We reached the venue much earlier. More than 40 schools had participated in different programs but we could see most of them had not arrived yet. The anchor could not start the event until all the schools had come so he started a talent hunt. He called singers from every school which had arrived then. I had no idea what was happening, my friends didn't just push me they carried me to the stage to sing. The stage was set with 15 kids including me. The perfomer besides me had just finished and passed the mic to me i just skipped my turn and gave it to the other one. The anchor noticed and insisted me to sing. I heard a very loud cheering voice from my school and i tried to look where they are sitting. On stage all the lights are on you and the audience is silhouetted you barely can see anyone. But i heard them loudly and figured it out where they were sitting. Just above them a yellow fall light was on and i could only focus on where it was falling. It was her. I skipped a beat and got numb. She found I've noticed her and she quickly got into her phone. Now it was more tough for me to sing. I was just looking her ignoring me. The crowd was still cheering me up. I stood still and the anchor said, " ok next". I moved my hand to pass the mic but here i started singing her favourite song looking her. Kisi roz tumse mulaqaat hogi, meri mehbooba from film pardes. She was surprised and her eyes were still in the phone but i could see how carefully she was listening to me. By the end of my performance she looked at me and i could see the teary eyes and with finishing i added ab "aa" se gaa and finally she smiled.