Life in a Cosmic Horror Genre: A Cosmic Morning
A Short Story by Jacob Irish
Six in the morning, and the alarm on my phone went off. I hit the snooze, and went back to sleep. Fifteen minutes later, and the second alarm goes off. Again, I hit the snooze. The fifth and final alarm goes off, and I'm up. I scroll through the news notifications, and I come across some articles.
' Breaking News: " Scientists say that " Disrespecting of elders has brought on a serious case of the Global Climate Warming Disease Economic Drop Flu, And the rise of the Ancient One, Cthulu. They advise all citizens to please stay in their homes, and wait for their inevitable doom. This, in no way, will pass. We're all fucked. "'
" Ugh! "
I said to myself.
" I got to stop reading the news. It's really depressing. "
I check out another article.
' A remake of a sequel prequel, of an original film, based on a book gets a reimagining reboot. '
I just roll my eyes and sat down the phone. While wiping my eye crust, I let out a tremendous yawn. The attempt at stretching led to a cramp in my calf. I was able to make time pass, by using the ever loving language of Profanity. From ' Shit fuck ouch!, ' to ' Son of a bitch! ' that, I roll around on the bed. Thirty minutes later, I get up to shower.