Small things matter the most. Have you ever wondered over this statement. Repeated it more than 11 times that each time you uttered those words you felt something pierce deeper into the soul of yours.
Those little smiles you shared while walking on the road with a total stranger, those words without any sugar coating, those sublime sunsets, those stunning random fragrance of roses and jasmine. Those random talks with a total stranger on social media. Those binge watching you do and unexpectedly you come across something extraordinary. Little things occupy the greatest space in our hearts.
Sometimes or often times I question my veracity. I try to dig deep using the shovel of sadness to ponder over my own worth. Sometimes it gets worse. Sometimes the clouds of pessimism occupy my head to pour themselves unclenchingly on me, heavily drenching me from top to bottom leaving me in chilling coldness and coercing me to be sober about this world and drunken in thoughts of weird memories of my weird childhood. Some people bring umbrellas but I insist I must get drenched till my soul weeps the sadness out which she's not aware why and it's the rain caused by me so I must clear it out myself that being my duty. I realise it's essential to put the crown of sunshine on my head and letting the halo of positivity float around my mind and even if it rains letting myself get drenched until the sunlight overshadows the clouds to glance upon me. And the rain stops.
Maybe I don't feel my worth, I don't feel beautiful, or worthy. The person I've moulded into and the person I'm moulding onto. But all I can hope is I don't hurt anyone ever including myself.
It's human tendency to say words to hurt each other and one repents afterwards because hurting somebody gives you a sadistic pleasure and satisfaction. I don't blame anyone. It's human nature. But the marks left behind by the injuries cause indelible scars. Permanent.
Words are what binds us here together in an inextricable knot of harmony, peace, love and care conflating with our scars, imperfections and mistakes.
I'm sorry. I'm not using any but or although. I am sorry. I am still learning from my experiences. I'm still learning how to accept myself. I'm still grasping the Essence of the hues of rainbows shone upon me day before yesterday. I'm sorry for every person I hurt. Both intentionally and unintentionally. All those person I ever talked to with disrespect or indifference. I realised something today. I'm sorry for everything. Thank you for reading this and being here. Always
Reposting again And this time I'm in love with you more than I can ever express. I'm sorry. I really mess it up. Every time. With my brutal honesty.
I've finally reached the final stage of writer's block. Expect no posts from my side.