Growing up, the world says to you... sons and daughters, dream 'to be'. And some thrive just like that, some from heights and some from pite, keeping expectations of the world aside by manifesting themselves, but reaching the heights, they understand, the life and its dreams were not it supposed it b, like these.
Sushant, I may know what you have gone through. I still remember how @kishan and me had a discussion on your life, how you moved to Mumbai, taking so much of effort, only for the fulfillment of your passion. And now you have gone. Gone for the fact that you were not that someone who could pretend a lifetime waiting to convince yourself that you are. Instead, I am happy that you were not amaterialist, self promoting celebrity, a simple person rather than a Bollywood product. Whether the question Bollywood has failed you or not remains a questionnaire.
Looking back, I could understand, it is that state of mind, when you get to understand nothing matters after all, either you live pretending or you live for escaping. Who can blame you for such a decision, you were not heard, and you'll never be, because none wants to, afterall this world is not good place, it is only for self loving, retarded people like us, who live a life time not making sense and die, soon to be forgotten.
However, I may know some of you, the feeling of not being able to express, or make sense in a world that the very self you're identified with, is not useful for your inner self., I still remember my post graduation days dealing with depression., sleep deprived, wordless, motionless being from a person who used to write everyday and upload, I became a person with no words, writing nothing, although I found some refuge in movies, and that battle still going unexpressed, witnessing how the self within me have been changing , I could understand the very fact, the 'I' doesn't make much sense to this world, with or without it, the world goes on, as it is.
Like the title of a famous Malayalam story goes 'a small world, and big people' I do understand the implications of such a pain, still deep within me, unheard and unexpressed,. However, it's that realization that makes a person who you are, I may find myself to be sad for not getting phonecalls or messages for days and months, even then, moving on, I can accept the very fact what person we i am used to be, reflects how you get identified and makes meaning.
And that's where, everything matters. This is world you makes sense only when you're able enough to make advantages, able enough to an opportunist, for a world it is.
If anybody thinks calling a person changes the depression he or she is going through, it doesn't. You'll never know it. It's something deep, a process that keeps on happening, making the person adjust with changes than confirming to what he/she is used to be. And decoding it needs understanding rather than attention, for that? You need to share similarities. There, the experiences differs, thinking differs, but, battling depression is a self made process, we all may go through it, and overcomes eventually, and that is something inevitable that helps us understand ourselves..
But, when we look at life, depression becomes a reality, it'll keep asking, who are you and what you are doing, everyday, every moment, and how much the world materialise the idea of mental health, life is still an unsolved puzzle that could change everything you have build in one moment of thought, and that may succumb in like a parasite, allowing you to be victorious over life, in , and helps you to become universe and everything,which can be never be understood with the limited, materialised and structuralised thinking patterns of minimal world.