Today unwillingly I opened my drawer Inside which... Hidden beast of memories quietly roar It possess many undesirable but ecstatic stuffs.. Also it has pierced marks of our intoxicated puffs Ohh.. My diary glad to see you.. I know once I brawled with your owner ( in order to purchase ) Only because you had a message of "NOT FOR SALE" I'm so incautious that I turned you slightly pale I see, ink of blood on your pages are now scattered Only you know I left but never flattered Hey ex.. In my diary I found your rose of Valentine's Day Hearing an echo "one day I'll make you mine, bae" Flowers along with thorns are totally dried Couple of long tales of love are now died Mistress petal are separated with Mr. Sepal Your ring still gleams but only as a metal My drawer.. Has same window before it from where I still watch your way I'm always ready to celebrate your home coming So if you wanna return you may... Yes I smile, but oblivious from joy and pain I see your image in every drop of rain... I can feel our past walking in my yard.. (Thundercalp compelled me to look down) My sight caught your "Wedding Invitation Card"
Srashti: Law of Nature? Is nature so brutal that it's separating two lovers? Aarav: Taking it wrong.. Law of Nature - Night after day and day after night Birth after death and death after birth Pleasure after grief and grief after pleasure Meeting after separation and separation after meeting.... This binds the entire universe.. We must face the pain of tyranny to taste the sweetness of good days
(I silently nodded in response to yes) Aarav: Srashti Srashti: Hmm.. Aarav: come on! It's Time to give me gift Srashti: What do you want? Aarav: Say goodbye with smile Srashti: Goodbye.....love It's hard to see you go..!! and harder to survive with your memories only Aarav: My strong baby will manage everything Srashti: I love you and will always do... and I'll miss you Aarav: I too love you and also going to miss you very badly (With a bright smile filled with pain he disappeared)
Shocking!! Whole scene turned.. I discovered me laying on the thresold of same window... Was it only a dream?? I saw my table dead man in the image was still smiling and rays of sun was touching him.... There was a paper near him with a message "BE READY TO WAIT FOR NEXT 24 FEB" and his gifted ring was gleaming on my hand ...
Two days passed I'm still confused.. "Was it real or a dream" If it was real than thanks for coming and keeping your promise and if was only a dream then thanks for encouraging me to face this year in your absence.. All those moments are now beautifully printed in our book of love as a chapter of history.... I don't know what was that I believe still it was "A NIGHT OF MYSTERY "
Aarav: I have something for my mistress Srashti: Really...!! Show me please (He opened an attractive wooden box and at the very next moment I saw an alluring ring between my middle and lil finger) Srashti: hey.. Winsome! Aarav: Do you like it? Srashti: No, I don't... Instead I'm loving it. It's just irresistible Aarav: Thank God You're getting spicier day by day.. Srashti: I'm sorry I have no present for you Aarav: I don't need any... You yourself are a divine gift for me... Srashti: I love you..!! Aarav: I love you too...
Time was flying and we both were totally occupied by our frenzy confab.. I can feel the lines of tensity dissipating from my forehead... My heart was welcoming the home coming of old days and absolutely oblivious from the world I with my man was adoring our ecstatic moments....
(Deeper breaths, Faster heartbeats, cold breeze, bright moonlight, Eyes in eyes, tighter hugs, Arms in arms, meeting of two souls who later turned into one, closer bodies occupied by pure love showering by amorphos kisses)
And then once again the horrible demon of distinction reached there...
Aarav: I'm sorry but it's time to leave.. Srashti: No you can't.. Please don't go.. please! Aarav: Stop obstinating like child Try to understand We can't violate the "law of nature"
When I opened my eyes.....I found my most special man before me... His doe eyes quietly responded my all questions and his magical embrace melted by choked throat..!! and then my agonized ears finally heard their most favorite pleasant voice..... When we started confabing heart-to-heart.....!! Aarav: Happy Happy anniversary darling..!! So, how's my sour candy?? (I was quietly starring him) Aarav: What happened? Aren't you glad? Say something... Srashti: I thought........ Aarav: Shhh..!! I know.. what you thought... Well, tell me... How can I dare to forget our day? After all, I don't like that scary face of my angry bird... Srashti: Aren't you verbalising? Aarav: Ummmm.... "No" Srashti: You can't even guess how much I missed you... Aarav: Wait, It's unfair..!! I too did... Srashti: I know.... Aarav: Don't you know what are we doing..? Srashti: What do you mean? Aarav: We're beautifully squandering the merry moments of celebration .... Let's go....!! Srashti: Are we really going to celebrate it?
By hushing me... He took me in a chamber where my sight was catching only erotic views...(rose petals scattered on floor and bed, burning candles, heart shaped balloons, romantic music)
Aarav: How's it? Srashti: Beautiful..! Aarav: not more than you..
After completing all the chores,I came into my chamber and picked a photo frame and suddenly started asking many questions... "Can't you see rain falling from my eyes? " "Can't you feel my pain?" Today's 24Feb...our anniversary...!!Did you forget? Don't you remember your last words before giving up life..."I promise, I'll come to meet you on our special day and we will celebrate it together"... So, is this the way you're keeping your promise??... By embracing his image and with moist eyes I said...stop smiling please...!! Where are you now? Why did you leave me?.... Wiping the watery pain from cheeks I kept him back on table and sat near the window...lost in deep thoughts of all the fanatical partics I spent with him... I was detecting with sulky mood that everything near me was frozen and time was also attempting to stand still... I was feeling a strange but known presence around me and was lil bit confused between 'letting in' and 'kicking out' the message carried by blowing wind..... In the stock-still surrounding, I perceived light disturbing my vision....Oppressed by my hasty nature I leaped out of window and finally found the abode of coming light.... It was a shooting star and I plead to met him and turned my steps back to home..... But my feet were pierced in snow and I tried hard but couldn't extricate myself from there.... My lips were continuously shivering and chilly winds were making my body numbed.... Attack of snowy environment turned my yellowish bare hand into blue....and I fell down and became unconscious and When I opened my eyes......
Search for meaning A poignant poetry Lucid, succinct A mangled mystery. Rudderless, lost Missing it midway Road to discovery Is harder than they say.
Then what is life? If not a kite Strings -- attachments Limiting its flight. What is life? If not a bird Limitless flights But a home unheard. What is life? If not the sea Unending opportunities Of all I can be. What is life? If not the sky A harlequin roof Over passers-by. What is life? If not a tree Head in clouds Yet not free. What is life? If not the earth Nourishing generosity Above our dearth. What is life? If not affection A family, a romance Man's affliction. What is life? If not love-lost Turning a heart Cold as frost... What is life? If not a mother Caring and I need Find no further...
Life then is All these elements Happiness, warmth Vices, resents a mischievous zephyr's Scintillating scents...
"Doesn't your skin turns sticky when you sugarcoat too much?? Doesn't your skin below your eyes turns salty when you lie there lifeless for hours crying your heart out??"
Y. Y. O. K A Y -W O. O. H U. U. E - - N Y O U - - L. A. A I. R. R E. T H A. T E. E. N O T - -
That sickening feeling in the pit of the stomach never goes away. The nausea oozing with dry tongue and dehydrated lips stays for a long time. Licking the lips to turn them moist but then again - Nothing stays longer - Neither the saliva on your lips nor the good old days. The constant fear,The anxiety keeps on rising rather than returning to it's old place.It keeps on coming back unlike the ones who promised to stay till you step into your grave one day."The Mirror never lies" They said.But I feel the mirror at my place is a pro at lying. It never showed the dullness on my face when there was nothing else other than that. It lied on my face everytime!!
"Stop staring at the wall for the whole day and do something productive" They said!! I do stare at the walls even i don't know why!!The kind of peace walls gives me,The kind of peace the vast sky gives me-Nothing else can give me that.They never question me back for anything. They listen silently to the pain that is killing me everyday. They sit back with patience and listen to the sobs,to the fears,to the uneven breathing, to the hope that is still keeping me alive, to everything!! Everything. Unlike others who question me and my silence, my tears, my pain."Walls do hear us"I heard somewhere and I find it true because all alone in that big room with the lifeless bed sheets, with the moody curtains, with the troubled doors, with the messy windows - I speak in a very low trembling voice yet they hear me, With shaky hands turning the AC off sitting on the bed with the back of my head sticking to the wall I start speaking and I speak till I puke the full pain out.
I have tried enough to let go." It's been years.Don"t hold the pain in your tight fist.It will only hurt you".But they say i don't try enough. I should forget about the pain,the failures,the life I used to have, the dreams I have been living for.What should I do?? Whenever I stare at myself, I feel a soul is desperate for life has turned lifeless,I feel a soul once travelling in the train of positivity has started driving her heart with negativity. I feel a soul with dreams has turned into a pool where only nightmares reside, I feel a soul hoping for hope has turned into a person for whom nothing matters except silence full of nothingness.
The ink of a pen has always made it easier You bleed on papers; wish they carry your burden a little longer Rusted words and faded love is drifting between the heart and its ghastly white; For you never knew where to draw the line between self-slaughter and sacrifice You never thought twice before staring in too deep into this nasty void that consumes so many lives And now the silence around you is like a ringing in your ears and it won't let you hear You have painted his city with your own blood Like years fading into nothing and lovers becoming strangers once again Like a door that was never meant to be opened You have been too soft and time has never approved of that Blood isn't beautiful, it's just red The heart has been out in the rain for too long It's been cold and there was no cloth to cover Didn't you know? The naked heart is always the most vulnerable when you step out into fake world...
//if you loved me so much as you said then why are you breathing? Why aren't you dying yet like me?//
I think it takes a little bit of more time To shake out of yourself and to peel off Those decade old stains from your skin You gave me no reason but I know what it is Some memories need to burn before they pile up in heaps.
I've seen the types of colors you seek And mind you, a few of them I've tried to paint myself with; But you never saw the nights I faked to be okay And I've never told you about the monsters that hide underneath my bed You see, you can never settle for grey What can I do, when my surviving depends upon being insane?
Two, three glasses never downed out your voice Five, four shouts never filled this silence Six, seven rounds couldn't fix this mess Eight, nine laughs never sounded easy You feel it yet? Time still loves those playdates Breaking your heart, playing with your head.
So where do we end up at the end of this broken lane? Where can we escape to with all of our highs and lows? I know we were the melody from a broken radio from the time we met Cities have fallen apart, towns have been painted red; I know you don't like dead roses but I'm always covered on them.
Wearing some colorful clips in my hair Jiggling sparkling bracelets with a fancy skirt Lined mascara and crimson red lips I've dressed up those beauty on me Is that what pretty being looks like? Is that what you saw in me that night?
Now that you know, are you finally afraid to never see the light again? Are you finally afraid of the deadly gravity around me? You see, some lovers are never meant to be, Some feelings aren't just supposed to be and; I'm already so tired of people leaving So I just keep my door open with the exit sign flashing You see, I knew you'd leave too.
I saw the tear rolling down the face of a mother yesterday, when she couldn't stop her child from falling and I was reminded of you . You must be feeling that way too , right? Seeing us fall into our self made traps of deception. I have always found it so easy to criticize you. I never understood how you could create a heart and not guide it home. It seemed cruel to create a life that is utterly oblivious of its origin. Erased of the source , it seems inevitable that we wander to find ourselves. I always wondered how could you do this. And then , when I see a bird push her child out of the nest , I sometimes believe that it must have been trust . Trust , That we will guide each other home to our skies. I have so many reasons to not wake up to see you sometimes. Yet I do , in the hope that you will find a way to hold me in your womb once again and make me whole . I feel so lost sometimes , dear universe . As though I am singing a song that is entirely out of tune with the rest of the world. And I fear to admit my strangeness even to myself . What if I lose my mind to the rhythm of the society? I have so many questions I want to ask you. About the color of the sky the day you made me , was it a dark grey or a candy pink? Did the world stop just a moment to welcome a new life? So many questions that I wonder if you would find enough time to put up with my curiousity. How far is forever? How deep is a heartbreak? How shallow is vanity? How curious is God? And finally, Do you care? Do you actually care about how we perceive you? You stand invisible and let us judge you based on how the world treats us. And you drink in our perception with equanimity and love . I admire this about you .Your ability to hold so many human minds. Perceiving and analysing and prodding through your being. I came from you and I will return to you but I want to live in such a way that when I do return to your invisible entirety , I leave knowing that I made the world a tiny bit more colourful . A little bit more insane .I think too much of sanity has led us too deep into despair . And we could all do with a fresh dose of insanity.A newer perspective. With which we hold you. I could reason with you forever about the idea of justice but I want to fall in love instead.Do you think that is naive? Irresponsible even? But time seems so limited and my heart too vast. And Love seems like the only real justice I can do to you. So when I say , I love you,Do you believe me dear universe? or Are you tired of being slaughtered for your gifts and being misunderstood? Impossible as it may sound from my aching heart , I do love you .And I want you to know That all is well with my soul. And I hope all is well with yours too.