// All my wolves begin to howl
Wake me up, the time is now.//
I guess I do love sleeping.
It's like I'm dead and alive at the same time. Lol. You replied that it's like death without the commitment (woof. Death with benefits)
Life's shitty. I wake up, open the curtains and see dust and old bricks lying at the corner of the street. The day's dull. I wash my face. It's 5:02 on the clock. I put on my hairband without combing my hair and go out to unlock the main door. There's a fat brown dog, spotted with red rashes sitting on the lawn. The newspaper is late as always.
Then I brew up some tea and sit down on the balcony floor but it's too bitter and I spit it out clumsily. I'm wiping my mouth with my tee-shirt.
The sun's out now. It's too harsh already. 7:12 AM. I wanna die.
I open whatsapp and see you've written something. "Good morning babe", you say. I type it back and send lots of goofy smileys. I'm not smiling. We won't talk much during the day anyway.
I stretch. I pull the curtains again. I wanna be in the dark. The light's too bright. 10:42 AM. There's a van outside with a mic blaring off. There won't be any electricity and water upto 5 in the evening. I'm still in my pajamas. I'm lying down on the bed, my feet dangling off the edges.
So does the day go on. It's hot and humid. I'm tired of existing. I just wanna sleep. My head aches. There are cobwebs in the corners of my room.
8:36 PM. I'm spamming you. I'm telling you about the stars, my name, my parents, my dreams, my fears, I'm crying and asking you if I'm okay, if you're okay, if your mum hugged you today and if your dog ate. You're silent. You're just telling me you wanna kiss me. I'm broken inside. I loathe you. Perhaps.
10 PM. We make up. Video call. I love you too. Perhaps.
11 PM. I choke on my food. The milk's burnt. I have to clean up. I'm still in yesterday night's tee. I reek of sweat and despair. I'm happy. I guess.
11:11 PM. I'm in bed. You're calling. But I switch off the phone and fade away.
I like sleeping. It's death without the commitment.