Seamstress of fabric and words....Pieces From The Heart
Give someone a little hope today. Do it in a simple but kind way.Something so free and simple can mend a broken heart 💔 . Give a brand new start...To someone who’s grown tired and alone, and far from home....Look into their eyes while troubles melt and roll down their cheeks...Give someone a little hope today. ©jananne. #Hope. # Mirakee
Peace of mind
Only if I had a little. Sure would be good Yeah, just a little piece of mind. Are used to have it. Are used to sleep Better. Where did it go, what happen ? Is it something to do with brain chemistry, not enough selenium? Or is it just my Vida Loca? A little piece of mind can go a long way. I need to start painting again. I need to work in the garden. I need to plant vegetables and fruits in the spring. I need to eat better. I need to use ladybugs in my garden and black gold. Black gold is what you get when you make a worm farm. And there’s thousands are more ladybugs on the property, put them in my Garden. I need to pray more, I need God in my life. I need to get my health back. I need to go to the gym. Piece of mind. Oh and that be Wonderful. I need to drink more water. Less vodka. No candy and absolutely no gluten. I haven’t really been in good health for a while now. But last year I was diagnosed with celiac disease. I went septic and I was on life support. And the funny thing is I didn’t even know I was on life-support until I talk to my doctor. I need to be kinder. I need to be calm. I need to meditate. Listen to classical music 🎼 ©jananne. # peace of mind # sleepless Nights # Mirakee
When I was three years old we moved to Laytonville. My stepdad was a lumberjack. We lived in a tent that had a wooden floor that was raised about three or 4 feet off of the ground. The ground was actually snow when we moved there,It was the beginning of winter and as a three-year-old I just thought this looks fun. My mom on the other hand was not a happy camper. My stepdad made us furniture and he made me a bed .Mom thought it look like a coffin actually it did but I didn’t know that then . My mom hated the bed as she thought it looked like a coffin. . She told everyone the story about this time in her life. Mom was Irish and Italian and she couldn’t tell a story without putting a little bit of her humor and she also swore a lot. Well this bed it was warm and cozy enough. And the thing was it was freezing there most of the time the temperature was in the 30s and I was bundled up in so many clothes and shirts and in a snowsuit that I could barely walk . You could’ve dropped me out of a two-story building and I just would’ve bounced. Well after about two weeks mom had worked her self up I swear fumes came out of her when she went outside or they could could’ve just been her warm breath in the cold air look like fumes to me. Well one day and night the temperature went so low that it was in the high 20s. And we froze and dad was out cutting down trees .I could Not Handle the cold. There was a big woodstove that was the only heat we had but most of the time you know I mean living in a forest we had plenty of wood and stayed in a fairly comfortable comfortable enough that mom used to have me go out and get snow and she would make me snowcones . That when I learned never get yellow snow for snowcones. It had to be pure white and then mom poured cherry syrup on it my favorite snowcone is still cherry. Well on this particularly cold afternoon mom couldn’t take it anymore and I was crying so she tells me so she got my bed which she hated anyway and she took jit outside and chopped it up with an ax took it back in and burned it . At first I was a little upset because I like my bed. But when it really came to it’s the warmth of the fire felt so wonderful that I forgot all about the bed. As the fire burned down it’s starting to get cold again rather quickly. So next mom got the chairs dad had made she took them outside , chopped them up with the ax and I even carried one of the legs and we put them in the woodstove , oh it felt so wonderful I was having a great time .This is fun mommy can we get some more. My mom didn’t say a word this time she went out and got the ax, came into our living quarters and started chopping up the table with her trusty ax. Well we did this all day and as the day went on and my dad came home he was shocked when he saw what mom had done. I was all excited to tell him how much fun I had with mommy today.I asked my dad to build some more furniture so we could burn it up when it got too cold again. Mom was exhausted it was warm dad was smoking I mean pissed. I slept with my parents that night. The only furniture that mom didn’t burn was the bed. And we ate dinner that night on a big box turned upside down. That weekend my dad and all his lumberjack friends built us more furniture. Even though my mom and dad had a terrible argument they never argued again over that day and that incident as my momTold my dad she was pregnant . She would about five months later give birth to my brother Marvin. We moved to Little House in town. Actually we were really happy and loved this little house. It was warm and cozy and mom had fun sewing curtains and making different things to decorate with. She was crafty and in her younger days she made A lot of things she even did a paint by numbers painting I thought I was very beautiful. She hung up in their bedroom. And this time we had furniture , real furniture that people gave us to help us get started. The only thing that dad made was a bed for Marvin. Ha ha ha ha.©jananne. # Snow. # Never eat yellow snow. # Family # Mirakee
The first dog that I ever had I was about four or five years old. My uncle who lived on the ranch with us gave him to me when he went to war. He told me to take good care of Rex and that Rex would take care of me. And he was right. I took good care of Rex and I loved him and He took good care of me and He loved me also.When heDied from old age in the Vineyards on the ranch we buried him in the Pet cemetery on the southside. There were other pets there too and a few ranch animals that I had become attached to. The rooster that annoyed me so much and picked my legs Was buried right beside Rex but when That’s stray dog killed himI realized I really did love him even though he was annoying. Uncle came home from the war. We went to visit the pet cemetery I had made a little wooden cross and painted on it Rex. When uncle and I went to The PetCemetery uncle put a little US flag on Rex‘s grave and I put A cookie that I had made shaped like a bone on the top of his cross . Then my uncle and I gave each other a hug and uncle gave me a little US flag to. I was very happy that he made it back alive and I told him that. He said he was happy to very happy. Because he had a lot of friends that didn’t make it home to their families. And he thanked me for taking such good care of Rex and he said he knew that I loved Rex very much and he lived a good long life. He told me not to be sad. And we walked back to the house Where we had tea and cookies. Grandma always watered my tea down But she put a lot of honey in it and that I liked very much.. As my uncle was drinking tea One single tear Ran down his cheek . I think it was a happy tear but I guess it was a little bit sad too.That night when I went to bed grandma always had me say my prayers so I knelt down with my elbows on my bed and I thanked Jesus for bringing my uncle home to us. And That I was sad That some of uncles Friends didn’t make it home to their family.But maybe when they went to heaven Rex would be there to love them and take good care of them.©jananne. # Love. # war # loss #. Family. # Mirakee
Hello all my Mirakee friends. I want to thank you all for reading my post and I hope that you enjoyed them I know a lot of them were difficult to read and not very pleasant. They were also difficult for me to write. But I want you to know that they were very necessary and a catharsis for me. Now I’m going to post some very short stories about people in my life I will only use first names and they will be about trials tribulations, Faith hope, Love and joy.©jananne. # Faith. #Hope # trials and tribulations # Love # and great Joy# Mirakee
The L Word
Love .... There are so many kinds of love...But the most precious and lasting is the love of a child...©jananne# Love of a child # Mirakee
Oh nothing that I have ever seen can melt my heart , can make me smile, and make me cry. Than a new born baby make it’s first sound. And when they placed you on my chest as your heart beat against mine, I finally knew for the very first time It couldn’t get better than this. Then 2 years later You’re brother was born and when they put him on my. Chest and his heart beat against mine That’s when I knew, it would always be brothers and me. Then many years later when Kyha was born. That blessed day would not reveal till 4 years later that this beautiful child would have to wait just as me until the universe brought us together. Then 20 years later Annabelle was born that changed me even more. So now as I sit here looking back on my life. I hear a voice saying softly to me. “ It couldn’t get any better than this.”©jananne # Child # Children # Grandma. # Great grandma # Mirakee .
If I could have just a few minutes before I go back home to my maker.I would say simply It’s been a bumpy ride...But every time I thought I was alone You always let me know even on my worst days that you were always there right by my side. And even when I thought I could not go on you pulled me through even the worst of times. Every time I suffered loss whatever big or small, you helped me see what really mattered was love I gave and loved received , the most precious gift of all. So until we meet again I want to say just this. The life you gave the lessons learned was more than just a gift. The light that shined to warm my heart and show the road that brings me back home to You. I would not change a thing. It made me see , it was the struggle that brought me back to You.©jananne. # Giving Thanks. # Comeback Home. # Mirakee
For all my family that hurt me physically and tried to crush my spirit and soul., I am so sorry that you were not able to come to terms with your short comings and your anger. But you taught me many things. You taught me not to trust anyone. You taught me to hate. You taught me how hard forgiveness is. You taught me to always doubt my self and feel no one could ever love me. And you taught me sometimes all these things destroys a person’s whole life and perception. It’s like a cancer. So I’m letting you go. Even though you all have been dead for some time now. It’s never too late. To say I forgive you. And I loved you. I needed you. That’s all I can do now to reclaim myself and live in peace these last few years I have left. Amen ....©jananne # never to late # Peace comes with forgiveness
Isn’t it ironic how a good person can struggle just to get from one day to another and a bad person can just sail threw life, while they cheat, steal, and lie with no remorce no shame. Isn’t it ironic? What about Karma, what about the law of resiprosity?? Is time not a factor ? There have been times in my life I have seen Karma come back at people. While other times i have waited a lifetime with no results. How bad does it have to be? Is kidnaping, beating a person until they were unrecanizable, then drag them to a unfinished grave and tell them to dig.DIG!!!I I am just trying to understand something I was sure Ialready understood...©jananne # Karma # The law of resiprosity # Mirakee
And then love disappeared ....Slowly, like Baby teethLosing parts of me I thought I needed©jana_shm
Tell me why, why you do that thang that you do, tell me why.. It drives me crazy, and I don't mean a good kind of crazy. Yes indeed there is good and there is bad crazy. Myself I'm a little bit crazy, in a good way. But I don't do that thing You do. and I don't like that thing You do. you know what I'm talkin about so don't pretend like you don't know. about that thing that you do that drives me crazy not in a good way. But you know, I've been thinking little about that thing that you do and I think that just maybe when you're gone... that will be the dang thing that I miss the most. sometimes when we love people we don't realize how deep that love goes until it is it gone and there is only an essence That remains. and as far as you're concerned I think that dang thing you do is your essence. yep I'm going to miss it. that dang thing that you do that drives me crazy.
whenever I ask my dad something, it's always the same he says, God willing and the creek don't rise. can't he ever just give me a yes or no. but he couldn't, always the same, God willing and the creek don't rise .Well you know I never spent that much time with my daddy because my mom and my step dad raised me. They never said, God willing if the creek don't rise. And they never said yes either.Mostly just no, no, no,no no, no. Sometimes I wish they would have just said God willing and the creek don't rise. Instead it was always no, no, no.. One time I asked my daddy if he was ever going to come and see me again and he said, " God willing and the creek don't rise." Well, I waited my whole life for my daddy to come see me again, even when I was a grown woman.Even when I had children of my own. And I've waited, even when my children were grown. When I became a grandmother I said to myself I'm not waiting anymore. But that child in me waited, and waited. Until one day, I get a phone call from Texas. I got a little excited to say the least when I saw the caller ID Texas, Texas. But when I answered that call, it wasn't Daddy.It was my step sister calling to give me the news. Daddy had died, a couple of weeks ago. I began to cry I couldn't help myself, I waited my whole life, but I get a call instead, from my step sister who was a little bit cold and short on words . I was his only child, is flesh and blood, the little Texas girl, who he loved when she was born. but somewhere along the line, somewhere in time she became a ghost. A thought once in a blue moon that popped into his mind and played with his deep buried emotions. But never stayed there very long. Because each and every time this little Texas ghost with my name pops into his head, he buries me deeper and deeper. Now many years have passed and I'm old, and stick, not just sick and tired, but sick. When I die if I'm one of the lucky ones, who makes it through those pearly Gates ... If that angel ask me," is there anything you desire",. peace would be my answer. peace. I think about my daddy once in awhile and I ask myself looking back on my Life. Will there ever be a day when I will be free from the pain in my heart that I carry with me. it has grown very heavy, and I'm grown weak. I wait for an answer, holding my breath then ..... A whisper of a voice speaks to my heart This is what I heard..... God willing and the creek don't rise......©jananna
Ode to Mama✓ Grandma.
Hello Mama.....I just wanted to let you know,I still miss you. Even though you have been gone for some time now. I just wanted to say.....I love you . Even though I have never felt loved by you, still in my mind I try to tell myself that you did love me. But you were always so gruff, so hard on me. what ever challenge I overcame. you were the one challenge I never could You never said a kind words, you never comfored me or tryed to help me when was in need. But I loved you and I just wanted to say I miss you,still. The words get all jumbled up an stuck in my throat when I try to speak of such things. Ifeel stronger, because I survived.Proud of how I made it through all the sh** you dished out. Why we're you always so angry with me and on the edge. People say it doesn't matter, or get over it. Don't you think that i would if I could..... Fool... You probably have no understaning of what can happen in family and swept under the rug. Well God bless you, I am truly happy for you. But please don't judge me for what you have never experienced.And I won't judge you for not having a understaning of what I have endured.... One good thing in my life, one special someone. Grandma, your mother...She was a lite in the darkess. She was my guardian angel.... And she showed me love.She taught everything a young girl needed to know to grow into a young lady. She taught me how to cook Italiano. She taught me about Jesus And took me to Church.She helped me with my homework.She showed me resepct and kindness. She always knew when I needed comforting and guidance. She was the greatest gift in my life. She taught me faith and forgiveness.Thank you Mama for bringing her into my life letting nurture me and teach me. You may not have realized to what extent her and my love for each other grew each and every passing day, but it did. So thank you anyway . I just wanted to say I still miss you even though you have been gone for quite sometime now.......I just wanted to say.......
Grandma Told Me...
Anyone will tell you that llife is too short.So live to the fullest while being so alert.Think before you speak and treat people with kindness and respect. Always do your best whatever that may be At least if your trying people will see.Now Grandma told me more important things than these little notes. But it all starts with these abasic few. And listen to Grandma even if you think you know more. Someday when your older you will come to believe that Grandma was wiser than anyone knew.She lived through it all and her lessons she learned is her gift to you.So take it or leave it but whatever you do.There is no love greater than how Grandma loves you.
Where U B?
I miss you so much. I know I will see you again. Sooner or later. I want you to know that a moment doesn't go by that I don't think of you .Where U B
Tomorrow it a promise of a better day. Tomorrow is a second Chance. Tomorrow is a gift. There is no tomorrow for some. So reach out with open arms andgreet tomorrow with Faith and Hope.And never look back©jananna
Taste of Blood
As I lay waiting for the sandman to take me. The vision of places and houses invade me. The house that I once lived in lives in now lives in me. I was just 3 or 4 when we came to live on the family ranch. So many places to play and explore. If I wanted a snack I just went into the vineyard for grapes.To the orchard for apples,cherries an plumbs. There were many small animals that lived on the ranch longer than I had. They weren't all happy to see me. and Except one..... Named Rex. My Uncle gave him to me to care for and love when he went off to war. Rex became my best friend.Rex was Mix and what a wonderful mut he was. He was my first dog. Living on the ranch we we're almost self sufficient. So when Mom or grandma were cooking Chicken Cacciatore, my dad would grab a nice looking one and bring it to this huge tree stump that was big as a small table. Carry his ax in his hand he put the chicken with its neck and head hanging over the edge of the stump. Then wack came down the axe! Dad was pretty good with an ax. He had been a lumberjack in Northern California. That was in the old days when it a responsible business. They worked for small , local Mills... Back to the chicken.. laying there, headless for about 1 second it let out a screschingsound while flapping it's wings about. As t stood there horrified the chicken rolled off the stump and started running after ME! Then Rex ran after the chicken. I Ziz zagged and ran for my live. And Rex well he was still running after the chicken.. As for Dad, he was back at the stump, ax in hand, laughing his ass off..Finally Rex caught up with the chicken while the chicken flops over dead. Dad came running over to stop Rex Grandma and MoMA came running too. Dog barking, chicken screaching, and me, I was the loudest off all. " No , chicken bad chicken", ... And there we all were. Dad took Rex and said", If he does that again I'll have to shoot him. I probably should do it now."But, " aww." I said," he didn't have a head. Rex didn't kill him.."....."No matter, he's had the taste of blood, he'll kill to taste it again."I was crying by now, I didn't want daddy to shoot Rex.. .. Besides Uncle gave me Rex to care for and love him not shoot him dead.. Dad looking down at the dead chicken said, " Pick that chicken up and bring it to your grandma..."I didn't say a word I j got the chicken and ran to the house. " Come on Rex." ... Well that night, at dinner I all my vegetables and my potatoes, but I could not eat my chicken..usally we had to clean our plates, but I think Daddy told Mama and Grandma about what happened earlier that day. S o the next day when I got home from school it was my job to feed to chickens and we had a huge chicken house with hundreds of chickens they used to peck me on my ankles all the time when I went in to feed them and I hated it, it hurt me scared me as well. This time I was careful not to let him in because I didn't want a repeat of yesterday I didn't want Rex to get shot. But somehow when I slipped into the Door of the chicken house Rex got in, two chickens got out. Well I ran out closing the door behind me and ran after Rex and the chickens but Rex got one by the neck before I could catch up with him...p screamed his name and I cried stop it. Daddy will shoot you you...but it was too late to do anything. Rex had one chicken, one dead chicken by the neck..My whole body was shaking, my heart pounding and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I cried until thought I heard my dad's car. As quickly as I close I took the chicken deep into the orchards. I dug a deep hole in the grounder an apple tree. With my bare hands and then a stick.. I said a prayer for the chicken, Rex and myself. Then I chased the other chicken down and put it back in the coop where it belonged. " Come on Rex run. And Rex and I ran over to the garden where there was an old rusty spicket. I washed dirt and chicken blood off myself, then Rex. There was always an old towel hanging there on the rusty spicket so I drirt us off and then hung it back up.....I went into the house.. I told my mom I fed the chickens and she told me to go fo my homework. I never watched dad kill a chicken again and I took Rex everywhere except to feed the chickens.©jananna
Words can inspire you to do great things.words can cut you deepin your heart and make you bleed.Words can bring you to tears, of all kinds. Happy,sad, tears of sentiment.Tears of pain, physical and emotional. .... So let us please think before we speak and use your words to inspire, to bring comfort and happiness. Words can be a gift as precious Especially words that we use to your children, remember we are not only their guardians a, but they learn by our actions and our words. We are their teachers . No one can leave our children with a better gift than we do when the look to us for Language ,(words.....)©jananna
Love is Love....
I remember the time my dog died,she was my most beautiful and smartest dog I ever had to call my friend. And, I loved her and she loved me. I was talking to a friend about my dog and how she was with me when I was sick , she never left my side.I began to cry, then I remembered my friend had just lost her baby grand daughter. She was born with half a heart and surprised everyone by living two years. “ Oh I am so ashamed, here I am crying because my dog died and you lost your grand daughter. I am so sorry. “ She looked up at me and said.....” Jana, don’t be sorry. Love is love, the heart doesn’t know the difference....” I carry that with me in my heart... So remember, love is. love, the