So the words of today's challenge hosted by @carolyns_challenge_account are Charisma, rhapsody, sonorous, elegiac, inamorata, saudade, paradigm, duplicitous, compendium, diatribe, sojourn, malady, lovelorn, penumbra, multitudinous
And I have also thrown in #desolate which is today's word of the day by @mirakee. Now that's a helluva lot of words tugging at my mental muscles! But stretching them was fun...
It is 10 pm. I lie down with a cigarette burning in my hand.
It is 11 pm. I sit in the dark, to see it unfold from shadows within me The echoes of her voice, still linger in the silence I remember, she smells of sunlight and perpetuity Unlike the singular cigarette in my hand, that reeks in continuity.
It is 1 am. I forget the memories and lies, I lived with her Two banks of the same river, that never met, ever. Fractures grow into chasms, the consequences of a deception My insides turn to ashes, a chaos apart from agitation.
It is 2 am. Beneath the cover of my sheets, I find darkness and gloom "I want to breathe smoke!", I scream while subduing my lungs to their doom.
It is 3 am. I refuse pain and settle for suffering, although I have a choice I know this doesn't rhyme, but neither did her lies.
It is 5 am. I put out the cigarette, on a piece pulled from my pocket The last of which remains, from the thousandth of my sentiment.
It is 7 am. I wake up with a cigarette burning in my hand
What are your thoughts on this? Is this an age old “darned if you, darned if you don’t” kinda scenario? I believe there is risk in anything we do- how we stomach it and deal with it is how you define your person.
Imagination are thoughts that we want to make a reality. A wish that we can't grant ourselves. Exploration of thoughts, visions from the mind with sonorous conflicted conversations of what is the reality vs the imaginary.
If I'd have known that the day I met you the last time, would be the last, I would have kissed you a little harder, held you a little tighter, whispered a bit more love words into your ears. I would have left a little more of me on you, I would have smelt your smell on my bedsheets a little longer. I am writing this today because there were things I wanted to say but I never got the chance.
Loving you was never a choice. I never expected you to enter my life when you did and I never expected you to leave when you did. But that's life isn't it? The most unexpected things happen and human beings learn to survive. We always said that people can live without anyone else. But at the same time, we had promised that we wouldn't make each other go through same. I kept my part of the bargain even when I had a hundred reasons not to, and you tossed it aside at the first reason you had.
I am writing this today because there were things I wanted to say but I never got the chance.