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  • joyjoy 5d

    A Twisted Gift

    I lie upon the sheets
    Like these words across the page
    Fingers tracing cursive words
    I tremble beneath their touch
    The sharp in take of breath
    Your beard upon my cheek
    Hips embracing hips
    As writhe around your body
    Opening to your soul
    Your name upon my lips
    I call out again and again
    Your kisses burning imprints
    As I return to reality
    Pleasure turns to tears
    As I sob into my pillow
    I have never been so lonely
    As you were never here
    The moment imagined
    A twisted gift
    Granted when I met you
    As I know
    You will never be mine

  • joyjoy 1w

    Rocks by the shore

    It was with quiet anticipation
    That she sat on the rocks by the shore.
    The light show of sunset began
    A peachy twilight danced within her eyes
    Illuminating her skin; a prelude:
    Of the glow of tomorrow.

    As the evening stars blinked into being
    A calm resounded her aura
    Conjuring perfected in fiery tones
    A call answered and now receiving
    With Orien's belt on the back of his neck
    He blazed across her darkening sky
    Once they finally said hello
    She knew she could never say goodbye
    So in that Rocky landscape
    She burned her baggage among the stones
    One more night left in her old life
    Before she moved on to things untold.

    In quiet anticipation
    She sat on the rocks by the shore
    The warm and welcoming rays of sunrise
    Embraced her forever more
    And with hands outstretched, ever beckoning
    She found another who returned in kind.

  • joyjoy 3w


    It is with apprehension
    That I get ready this morning
    To face what I must
    Not for myself, but for my children.
    Will the memories from another time
    Come rushing back?
    To witness the same done to another:
    Leaves me weak in the knees and uneasy.
    The butterflies of fear dance in my belly.
    Can I keep myself controlled enough?
    I must, otherwise add to a disaster.
    I feel as though I'm entering a mine field
    One from which I've already escaped.
    Now is not the time for fear.
    Now is the time for strength
    To do what I must.
    What I must do is navigate the others:
    My children and my friends to safety.
    He is no longer my ex-husband.
    He's a guy I know that shares the same children.
    I hoped we were past all this.

  • joyjoy 3w


    I hate when it's so obscure where the problem lies

    But perhaps...
    ...that's the wrong wording

    So negative in thought and diction

    Let's try again....

    It remains hidden to me:
    That small spot of fertile soil
    Waiting for the seed to be planted
    That seed that might change from bramble to fruit

    It's not a lack of care or effort

    It's not even the fruit but it's creation that is needed


    The I might bring to light that others do not see

  • joyjoy 5w

    Never Desolate

    Should my thoughts turn desolate
    I turn the page of my mind and find you there

    That is the magic of the library of my brain
    Every moment lost to the sands of time
    Makes room for new ones to be made

    Every time I've been left behind
    Has brought me closer to this moment

  • joyjoy 5w


    Emotions swell beneath my skin
    Limits I've placed on myself stretch
    To the point where I have to break them
    Otherwise be consumed by the chains

    I am not happy in freedom-from.

    I need freedom-to.

    Freedom to do what though?
    That's what remains hidden from me.
    The elusive riddle that binds my hands
    That drowns my voice.

    It requires so much energy
    Just to remain balanced
    That there is no freedom-to
    I ponder how others do it.

    I wish to set fire to the confines
    Of the belongings that are supposed
    To mean something to me but don't
    I suppose I do want freedom-from

    Freedom-from is a necessary step

    What will emerge on the other side?
    Is it the wanting that makes me uncomfortable?
    To want more has been forbidden
    At last I understand what I wrote before.

    I am not happy in my achievement of freedom-from

    I need permission to have the freedom to.

    Permission from who?
    To live in freedom-from is a negative place
    Highlighting what is lacking,
    It's a place of memory of wrongs done

    Freedom-to is a place of confidence
    The creation of dreams come true
    I need to get to freedom-to
    Help me create it

  • joyjoy 6w


    I find myself drifting again
    Weighed down by the baggage of the past
    Faced again with truths I wish to destroy
    The internal battle that challenges my beliefs

    I stand in the spotlight naked
    Those who watch comprehending
    All it would take is an outstretched hand
    For me to feel like this fight is not futile

    The world constantly pushes it truth
    Yet I stand defiant, beaten...worn
    I must find this key within
    To unlock the door to the path

    The path that will lead to safety
    I will not stop

  • joyjoy 12w


    I could write a thousand words
    And never share your exactness
    I can only pass on sentiment
    Impressions fleeting
    But nothing concrete.
    It is in doleful shades;
    These words, I write.
    Impotent in the face
    Of trying to convey:
    Your essence-- ineffable.
    Instead I am left with
    Silhouettes and shadows

  • joyjoy 14w


    Calming, invigorating
    The soul language
    Every note a prayer

  • joyjoy 14w

    Paradise Found

    Paradise disappears like petals in a mist
    Vibrant and fragrant, ephemeral.
    Frozen on the pages of memory
    Not meant to last an eternity
    But to evince the pleasure of evanescence.

    Paradise lingers in troves abound
    Ours to be found
    Once awakened anew
    Bereft of visions askew
    Ensconced in the new reality
    That paradise waits wherever
    We might be.

    Paradise disappears like petals in a mist
    So we might find it again and again