jubilation_but_despair

instagram.com/jubilation_but_despair

A 17 year old on an onset to a poetic voyage. Insta: @jubilation_but_despair

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  • jubilation_but_despair 13w

    but make sure to not only love the colour of my skin
    but also the colour of my heart, and the colour of my soul.
    at times i could be so fragile, i hope that you can handle me with care
    if i collapse, i hope you can cautiously put back every piece of me together, so that i could feel strong again
    (you don't have to, but i hope that you would)
    if you're going to be there for me, i hope that you would plant gardens inside my heart
    so that instead of bleeding poison i can let out the petals of the roses that had been planted in my heart,
    as if someone placed their love carefully inside of me
    and accessorize the gates of my heart with ornaments
    (so that on the days i feel hurt, i don't feel alone, knowing that there is someone beside me)
    if you're going to be there for me, you'll have to try to understand me, otherwise, you'll just become one of those people who'll leave too soon because of misunderstanding me.
    i hope that we can be there for each other.

    ©jubilation_but_despair | ayla fayyaz

  • jubilation_but_despair 13w

    i hope you can paint stars when i complain about the night sky being too lonely
    and I'll be your moon (i'll be your light)
    at times i wouldn't know how to express myself.
    that's when i need you to just listen through the deafening silence and try to see through me.
    i was never taught how to speak
    i was never taught how to pronounce my words beautifully
    infact, every word I say will taste sharp
    it may hurt your throat, i'm not sure if you can take it
    but know that if it hurts, i won't let you bleed
    i'll wrap my skin around every area that hurts
    and if it hurts more, i'll put a tape over my mouth (i hope that never happens)
    i hope that all my life i don't have to feel like a bird trying to sing to a human who doesn't understand me, just because our languages are different
    i hope that you speak the same language as me
    and if you don't, i hope that you're at least ready to learn how to pronounce words a little differently.
    sometimes i would not feel pretty in my own skin
    despite your compliments, it wouldn't change a thing

  • jubilation_but_despair 13w

    if you're going to be there for me
    you will have to understand me, you will have to learn every part of me
    trace your fingers over every word written over me
    try to comprehend how eccentric i can be
    turn every page ever so slightly
    don't leave before the book finishes,
    (there's so much more to me than just a distressing chapter)
    you will have to know how at times i can get anxious
    at those times, fill the void in my heart with warmth and tenderness
    and know that i would empty it again, attempting to kill the pain by crying
    just because someone stabbed me with their words.
    at times i would get upset, probably without any reason
    at those times i might push you away, not because i want to but because i already have the company of my own shadow (filled with desolation)
    but can you ask it to go away? it doesn't listen to me.
    your gentle words could cheer me up.

  • jubilation_but_despair 13w

    be soft like a feather, be like someone who could warm up people's hearts.
    be like a bandaid who could heal others, those who have been hurt.
    be kind.
    be nice.


    ©jubilation_but_despair | ayla fayyaz

  • jubilation_but_despair 13w

    With love, Artemis

    With love I've prepared this speech
    Only so I could reach out
    Just want you to listen to me
    Don't want you to feel proud

    I don't expect you to
    But I want you to say it out loud
    Whatever it is, love or lust
    Need you to spell it out

    I don't like the hints at all
    I don't want to live in doubt
    Why can't you just clear it up?
    You never fail to beat me down

    And here I am writing all of this
    Just so I could talk to you
    I don't like to fall to this level
    But you even make me do that too

    With love, I have yet again addressed you
    A little hope still lights up my nights
    Everytime they mention you
    I still feel the fire ignite

    ©artemis

    @artemis

  • jubilation_but_despair 13w

    sometimes i would not feel pretty in my own skin
    despite your compliments, it wouldn't change a thing
    but make sure to not only love the colour of my skin
    but also the colour of my heart, and the colour of my soul.
    at times i could be so fragile, i hope that you can handle me with care
    if i collapse, i hope you can cautiously put back every piece of me together, so that i could feel strong again
    (you don't have to, but i hope that you would)
    if you're going to be there for me, i hope that you would plant gardens inside my heart
    so that instead of bleeding poison i can let out the petals of the roses that had been planted in my heart,
    as if someone placed their love carefully inside of me
    and accessorize the gates of my heart with ornaments
    (so that on the days i feel hurt, i don't feel alone, knowing that there is someone beside me)
    if you're going to be there for me, you'll have to try to understand me, otherwise, you'll just become one of those people who'll leave to soon because of misunderstanding me.
    i hope that we can be there for each other.

    ©jubilation_but_despair | ayla fayyaz

    @jubilation_but_despair

  • jubilation_but_despair 13w

    but can you ask it to go away? it doesn't listen to me.
    your gentle words could cheer me up.
    i hope you can paint stars when i complain about the night sky being too lonely
    and I'll be your moon (i'll be your light)
    at times i wouldn't know how to express myself.
    that's when i need you to just listen through the deafening silence and try to see through me.
    i was never taught how to speak
    i was never taught how to pronounce my words beautifully
    infact, every word I say will taste sharp
    it may hurt your throat, i'm not sure if you can take it
    but know that if it hurts, i won't let you bleed
    i'll wrap my skin around every area that hurts
    and if it hurts more, i'll put a tape over my mouth (i hope that never happens)
    i hope that all my life i don't have to feel like a bird trying to sing to a human who doesn't understand me, just because our languages are different

  • jubilation_but_despair 13w

    if you're going to be there for me
    you will have to understand me, you will have to learn every part of me
    trace your fingers over every word written over me
    try to comprehend how eccentric i can be
    turn every page ever so slightly
    don't leave before the book finishes,
    (there's so much more to me than just a distressing chapter)
    you will have to know how at times i can get anxious
    at those times, fill the void in my heart with warmth and tenderness
    and know that i would empty it again, attempting to kill the pain by crying
    just because someone stabbed me with their words.
    at times i would get upset, probably without any reason
    at those times i might push you away, not because i want to but because i already have the company of my own shadow (filled with desolation)

  • jubilation_but_despair 13w

    a message to someone

  • jubilation_but_despair 14w

    you know, it's not okay to sacrifice your happiness for others
    for those who don't even deserve you
    you are a gem, a precious being
    don't apologise for the way you are so soft and innocent
    for the way you refuse to give up
    no matter what others say
    it's okay.
    don't present your apologies so openly to random people like that
    you should know your worth
    you should know your value
    these things will take time to heal
    so don't you dare apologise for feeling the way that you feel.

    ©jubilation_but_despair | ayla fayyaz