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  • justanerdysoul 4w

    You are my dirty little secret

    Hidden behind perfectly crafted smiles

     Sweet words and purposeful actions.


    I keep you locked up tightly.

    Hidden behind closed doors,

    In the deepest darkest corners,

    Where no one would think of searching!


    Tied up , bloodied mess that you are!

    Do you think you would find pity from me?

    After all I have seen in this world,

    You still are the most pathetic thing.


    You are weak, naïve and an utter failure.

    And I keep you hidden.

    And you deserve it.

    The girl I see when I look into the mirror.






  • justanerdysoul 4w

    And on some nights I wonder if we could have been something?
    If I didn’t cling to my pride so hard and forgot bending is not breaking.
    If I had let go of my image and took the risk for once.
    If I had not built my walls so high and built a door for you to come in.
    I wonder if we could have been something.

  • justanerdysoul 4w

    I liked coffee.You liked tea.

    2 years later,I like tea but you never could like coffee.

  • justanerdysoul 4w

    Sometimes instead of swimming you have to float, just float.

    Fighting back is good but letting things happen is important too. There comes a time when you just have to let what is happening, happen. Don’t protest. Let life take its course.
    It has its own reasons for doing so.Who knows; the results might just surprise you!
    So don’t kick, flail or try to swim. Just float. Have faith that you won’t drown.
    And you won’t drown.

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  • justanerdysoul 5w


  • justanerdysoul 7w

    Don’t look , Don’t think
    Looking into the mirror she sees
    A happy face , a slim figure
    Easy to spot , easier to discern
    Eyes hiding loathing, days of starvation
    Hard to spot , harder to discern

    Don’t look , Don’t think
    An efficient liar, weaving her web of lies
    Trapping her preys, getting trapped in between
    Whenever she looks into her eyes
    No escape from the judgement of the soul.

    Don’t look , Don’t think
    Ignore the truth,Ignore the warnings
    Drown in the guilt, go to the depths of despair
    Sip the poison like it’s fine wine.

    Don’t look , Don’t think
    This is the path you chose,
    Even if it hurts to be on
    Kill yourself, slowly
    For the sins you just did.

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    Don't look , don't think


  • justanerdysoul 12w

    When I have tough decisions to make but my mind is searching for excuses ! #thoughts #poetry

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    Left or right
    Up or down

    Spoilt for choice
    No option easy

    Hard or harder
    Dreams or reality

    No escape from
    These decisions

    Yes or no
    Jump in or back out

    Life is demanding answers
    What do I say?

  • justanerdysoul 22w

    New year ,new me
    This isn't possible.

    You are still you.
    Different habits , different rules,
    New promises, new views.

    Whether you took a day off
    Or you spent the day working like me.

    I hope this new year brings you not what you want but what you need because often they are not same.

    So be you and be willing to give life a chance .

    It's your life , choose to live it with pride.

    Happy New Year .

  • justanerdysoul 25w

    Be yourself .
    Find yourself .
    Be who you were meant to be - they say.

    But do we all know who we are ?
    I don't.

    I am a daughter.
    I am sister.
    I am a girlfriend.

    I have a loving family.
    A sweet boyfriend.
    A bunch of nice people as friends.
    A good work family.

    Is that it?
    I am girl struggling with Depression , PTSD and Anxiety.
    I am a girl, who is unsure about her sexual orientation.
    I am a girl who doesn't know how to live.

    I find peace in other's smile .I just everyone to be happy.
    I believe in ignorance is bliss but am the most curious person around.
    I write , I read . My vivid imagination gets me through the day.

    I am a girl who forgot who she is , what she likes and what she wants .
    I only know to keep breathing , because otherwise it would kill my family.
    I only know to keep fulfilling others' dreams , because to my dreams died long ago.
    I am girl who doesn't speak anymore, because my voice was choked out of me .

    I don't know who I am .
    I don't know what my purpose is.
    I don't know what I should do.

    My fondest dream is to die.
    My second fondest dream is to runaway.

    I am just a girl , who wants to escape.
    From what and to where -I do not know.

    #cees_speak #thoughts #diary

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    Who am I ?

  • justanerdysoul 26w

    And am back !

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    How to know you are finally getting back on track ?
    Writer's block disappears and the radio station in your head starts playing again!