He gives me hope
YouYou make me feel like I am safe when I feel most afraidYou give me hope when all seems lostYou light up my world when everything is darkYou gift your love when you yourself are strugglingYou reassure me when my mind drifts to dark placesYou hold me when I'm crying You satisfy all my senses when we make loveYou bring out the adventurous side when I'm feeling shyYou tell me welcome to my new normal when I question your kind actionsYou send me flower just because its Tuesday You kiss me and the world comes to a haltNothing in my life has ever felt like youI'm afraid this is all a dreamI'll wake up and you'll be goneBut every day I open my eyes your still thereThank you for being youYou dont know how much you mean to meI hope someday I can fully find the words to express how much I love you.How much I feel like you are my missing puzzle piece How much you are my mateI can't wait to hold you in my arms againWith your scent surrounding meAnd your heartbeat pounding into mine I can't wait to give you a familyI can't wait to be your familyI can't wait to love you fully.
I am so God damn fucking tired of hurting.I am too kind.I trust too easily. I love too hard.I laugh too loud.And all to hide how much I hurt.I am so God damn fucking tired of hurting. I open my heartIn hopes of love to be poured in... Yet it seems, all it does is dry out...Cracked and withered... Hurt with lies... I am so God damn fucking tired of hurting.Enough water to fill a lake... Have flowed from these sockets... Empty and hollow...Dark and puffy...Red and sad...I am so God damn fucking tired of hurting...Will it ever stop?
I will never be her again.And that is a good thing.
Hundreds of miles can't stop the love I feel for you.Thanks to this day and age, every day we talk... Still I look forward to writing you letters and reading yours again and again and again... I look forward to your embrace... like a starving human longing for nourishment... days without water and that first sip... will be like ecstasy...When your lips touch mine... I'll feel whole once more. My only regret leaving the frozen north... leaving you behind...59 days and counting till I get the honor of holding you again...59 days and counting till I get the honor of loving you fully...59 days...Both so close yet so far...Hundreds of miles can't stop the love I feel for you...
Once I was told...I dance beautifully to the melody of chaos...When there's nothing else you've known...You learn the moves...
When will I sleep well again?Or will I forever see what you did to me...Feel what you did to me...Forever?On repeat. On replay. On loop. The pain. The fear. The hate. The betrayal. Loop after loop...Tears wake me up...It all feels so fresh. Why now? Weeks of nothing... now this... Why this?
Why do I torment myself soLooking at her Shes beautiful Fit, thin, great smile, gorgeous skin, eyes of the oceans and sky...Why do I compare...Feeling so defeated 180 of her appearance Why do I torment myself soLooking at herShes beautiful And I... am only cute with a filter
WorthlessUselessHomelessJoblessFew possessions Couch hoppingFeeling soOutOfPlaceBut okami says... he still loves me...I can't help but doubt. For years... beaten into me...I'm nothing without money....Would never marry without money...Was never good enough... For years.... But okami says... he still loves me...And I have no idea why....
Will I ever feel like I belong somewhere? I ask myself.Absolutely! The optimist says...Maybe some day.... the pessimist says....Never.... the instinct says...That forever feeling... As long as I can remember...As far as I can see...I hope that I'm wrong...I was always taught though...Hope for the best...Expect the worst....
Its a night of insecurities...He's had more than I... He knows exactly what he's doing... He's ridiculously talented and beyond caring... He says he has eyes only for me... He tells me he loves me and wants a family with me. Actually wants a family with me...So why is there this vicious little voice in the back of my head... Telling me I'm not worthy... Why do I still hear that voice telling me I'm a burden and lazy... That I've let myself go and need to work out to be any level attractive...That I should starve myself to be the size I think I should be for him...That I'll never amount to anything without the help of another... Swamp monster that I feel...Self loathing rooted so deep... I dont want to burden him. I dont want to disappoint him.I'm afraid I'll become boring to him... I don't want to loose him... I'm afraid he will change his mind... It's a night of insecurities...
Got inspired so I wrote a Haiku
LoveHer smile shines brightA soul so pure and loving With her I am found
Word Prompt: Write a 6 word short write-up on PathBy unknown writer
The true path
Be unapologetically you, The rest fallow
Word Prompt: Write a 6 word one-liner on Peace
Earned by few, enjoyed by all©usmcokami
I sometimes wish that you would share the pain. But I know that you wouldn't tell me the truth, would never accept that there are parts of you that still grieve the day you left us without a word, because it has always been easier for you to hide in the shadows of lies than to face the truths that bleed.©voice_of_the_void
#Closure #selflove #notsorry #noexpectations #lessonlearned #growth
Everything ends eventually no matter your expectations.I'm cutting off what's not meant for me without any hesitation. It occured to me my boundaries caused you quiet a few frustrations.So you slandered me and played victim out of your own desperation.You dropped your mask revealing your lack of spiritual education.Only after you picked me apart without any consideration.Yet I know who I am regardless of your various manipulations.I'm at a point in my journey now guided solely by constellations.Taking time to learn my stars which upgrades my communication.Getting to know myself this way takes deeper concentration.I don't expect you to understand so I'll take it out the equation.To sum it up this chapter is called self- love and dedication.I'm not sorry at all if that caused your plans any complication.Everything ends eventually no matter our expectations.Growth is finding peace in that regardless of the situation.Even lessons that are hard to learn deserves appreciation.©ahomsey